Photos

Let me put up some long overdue photos before we kick off with any post...even the pictures are like "outdated" - 6mths ago. Wahaha...Enjoy. Yeah ok, nothing to enjoy. Just some egoistic, hastily photoshopped pictures. But well..whatever.

Boss brought us to the Il Lido Restaurant at the Sentosa Silosa Golf Course. In Moses' opinion, they are overpriced and the food is only so-so. But well, I thought it was quite alright. Maybe coz I'm not so picky. The food is expensive no doubt. But hoh...I miss the food now...heh

The things we do...hehe...

Yummilicious...

Now you don't see me, now you do!

Myriad of photos...

Playing with shadows...can be quite fun actually =)

Mondays Blu

Have no idea why, but I found work a major chore today. Certainly a blue Monday. Dry, boring...time was an enemy, crawling and unyielding. To make matters worse, the mood was nothing less than tensed in office this morning. My boss was in a bad mood, my colleagues had different clients driving them up the wall. I was slightly luckier, escaping to an editorial meeting at the client's place, though it wasn't any much better, really. The boss wasn't exactly happy that we are waay behind schedule, honestly through no fault of ours.

Anyways, following that, I was treated to a simple but sumptuous fare of chinese fare. Hee...Then it was back to office to mug some more. Faced off with yet more tension in the office. Not amongst the office peeps, but with other silly people and stuff outside. At one point, I even had to muster all my will power to keep me from slumping over and dozing off. Super duper drowsy. And it certainly didn't help that the articles I was rushing were boring as hell. Actually it was a good thing that I don't have the clock anywhere within my view. In a way, it does help time to pass faster, especially the few hours in the afternoon. It didn't occur to me to look at my watch too. Heh. Still, in that state of half-drowsiness, half the time I wasn't sure what I was writing on too, so you can imagine the quality huh. I had to keep going back, vet and re-write the damn thing. Lotsa time wasted, no doubt.

Anyways, the "poem" appended below was written by Moses, when he was freshly graduated out of NUS. I've seen his results slip before, by the way, and his worst grade through all his uni years was the the grade A. Serious. A+ being the best grade, and grade A was the next best grade liao. Straight A student, I tell u. Shouldn't come as a surprise. The fella was an RI boy. Duh. Apart from being a boss here, he's also a part-time lecturer in NUS now.

Well watever. He went to work for HDB, and he wrote the poem out of boredom. Whatever he wrote about in the poem below was true. He was paid a handsome salary for doing nothing then. And so were some others. Wasting taxpayers' money rite. Well, he got restless of course. Quite funny, especially when you imagine that naive-innocent him pouring his soul out in that poem. The poem got passed around the department and even his boss saw it. But thankfully, he had alredy submitted his resignation when he wrote the poem, and before it got circulated (he wasn't the one who circulated it). It came back as an email to him. So the other day while we were packing up in our old office, he pulled this from his dust-collection and read it aloud. Haha..

HDB –
This is not the place for me
Read this further and you will see
The reason for my agony

When I finished varsity
I thought I had ability
Full of zeal, came here to be
An Estates Officer truly

But what I found here certainly
Caused me to lose my energy
All I have to do only
Is to go and photocopy

This I do reluctantly
Until my boss showed sympathy
He gave me a different job completely
Guess what? Make transparency

Always when I feel lazy
Wish to be alone and have some tea
Boss would say so suddenly
“The projector, quick, carry!”

Projector, projector, you’re heavy
Who can I complain to, but thee
This, after all, is not easy
And where, oh where, is my destiny

My friends told me that I’m lucky
To find a job so quickly
A job that has security
With lots and lots of good money

But this is not what I want to be
What can I do?...Poor me
Have to accept this penalty
A victim of the economy

But while I’m here in HDB
I’ll try my best and be happy
I know one day when I look back and see
There was a purpose there for me
- A Relief Estates Officer

Chasing Shadows

Those times when I go running...My shadow is short and stout - a fear that I hope will never materialise ever again. Other times it becomes elongated - one of the few times I see myself "become" tall. Sometimes I'm ahead of my shadow, other times I'm tailing it, seemingly leading the way.

I took a different route today on the 'back' journey. I was running beside the road most of the time, and whenever I took in my periodic big gasp of air, all it smelt was bad air, bad exhaust air. What can you expect, you asked. Yeah I know that. But it seemed especially bad today. At times when the run got a little droning, I looked down at my feet. The mundane yet steady thump seemed to have a life of their own. But it did help looking at my own feet. I couldn't believe that was how "fast" I was managing. I ran faster.

Today's run started out hot and bothersome. The weather was humid, not a single whisper of wind. But the perspiration didn't come till some 10min later. Was I not running hard enough? I told myself since I had done my run yesterday, today was a bonus. I shall allow myself to do half the distance instead. But no matter what, the sticky weather did get to me. I was ready to give up the run many times during the run. Perhaps was my laziness.

Well I did turn back half way into the journey. And this time, on the way back, I was reminded why I like running at nite. The breeze did come this time, and a good gust too. And it couldn't have come at a better timing - when I was running down-slope. Perfect!

The rush of wind against your warm cheeks, perspiring body, tired soul, just seemed to do wonders to your overall being. It added that additional boost of adrenaline rush, makes you want to go faster, continue running and not have to stop.

Honestly? I wasn't as satisfied with the half-hearted run I did today. But at least I got reminded why I still want to run. And no doubt about it; every run does its wonder for me still. Still feels good =)

I gave myself a good treat in the shower just now. No why, just felt like it. I used my rarely-used strawberry exfoliating body polish and used a luxurious portion to give myself a good scrub down. I gave my damaged hair a good treat again by conditioning it (yeah I know, I ought to do that more often). Now I'm all clean and perfect-smelling. Strawberries! Now where's the cream? Hee...

strangers are just family you have yet to come to know

All ending are beginnings. We just don't know it at the time. On hindsight, if you had realised that, would you have seen things differently? Would you have done things differently?

If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand it? By then, would you still want it?

Sacrifice, you made one. I made one. We all make them. But you are angry over yours. You kept thinking about what you lost… You didn’t get it. Sacrifice is a part of life. It’s supposed to be. It’s not something you regret. It’s something to aspire to. Little sacrifices. Big sacrifices. A mother works so her son can go to school. A daughter moves home to care of her sick father. I give up something so that someone else can be happy...or happier.

Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you’re not really losing it. You’re just passing it on to someone else.

People say they “find” love, as if it were an object hidden by a rock. But love takes many forms, and it is never the same for any man and woman. What people find then is a certain love. Love, like rain, can nourish from above, drenching couples with a soaking joy. But sometimes, under the angry heat of life, love dries on the surface and must nourish from below, tending to its roots, keeping itself alive.

Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nuture it. You hold it. You dance with it.

Life has to end. Love doesn’t. Really? Yeah, love doesn't have to end. But when one chooses to end it, that is different. That, is a choice you choose to make.

Case in point; an excerpt. Doesn't matter it's fictional:

“Your grandfather and I met when I was working at restaurant as a dish-washer. He was the cook of the restaurant. When we saw each other, we knew it was love at first sight. He kept staring at me while he was cooking and I could not concentrate on my washing. I stole quick glances of him, amazed by his awesome cooking skills and his good looks. By the fifth day of my work, he asked me out. I did not reject. And so we went to a park and chatted about almost everything under the sun."

I tried to recollect memories of my grandfather. It was then that I realized I had never seen him before: He died before I was born. However, in my mind now, I was painting a picture of him: A young and handsome man who knew how to turn an uncooked egg into an omelette.

"We went on a few more dates. Unknowingly, we started holding hands. And as we continued dating, our love for each other grew so much that a day apart was intolerable. Whenever I woke up, I would wonder what he was doing. Whenever I walked to work, I would wonder if he was doing the same thing. If there were handphones during my time, I would have called him every single minute. Then one day, he brought me to a forest. Although I declined, he insisted. So we went into the dark forest, carrying only lighted candles. Suddenly, he disappeared. I panicked and nearly fainted, but he suddenly reappeared with a ring on his hand. He kneeled before me and proposed to me. How could I have rejected? How could I have rejected such an offer? I cried on the spot, and within ten days, we were officially husband and wife."

I realized that everyone had a story to tell: The auntie selling fish soup may have the most romantic love story; my old and stubborn Literature lecturer Mrs Goh may have the most tragic story to tell. Yet I always pondered on the poignancy of my own story, as if my story superseded all of theirs. Our relationship was as strong as a rock during our first few years of marriage. But everything soon changed. We began to drift apart. We seldom talked. There was just no reason for this rift.”

“You didn’t love him anymore?” I asked, curious. My grandmother did not answer me. She sighed, and then continued, “I thought of divorce. But during my time, divorce was a taboo. We continued living together, exchanging less than a few words a day. And as a tradition, we had to bear a child for our parents. And so your mother is born. Even with the addition of a new member in the family, we still behaved like strangers. Your mother, angry with us for not giving her a good family, married off when she was just seventeen. And when I was fifty, I decided to move out. I lived alone here for five years, until your grandfather called me. He said he didn’t have much time left. So I went to the hospital. Your grandfather asked me a question that made me think a lot: ‘Have you loved me throughout our marriage?’ I was lost for words. I spent the entire day thinking. And when I finally said yes, we hugged. Since then, I began visiting him in the hospital for his remaining days. He said something the day before he died which touched me very deeply: ‘I’ve been the happiest man in the world for two times: The first time is when you agreed to marry me, and the second time is when you said you had always loved me throughout our marriage. Because I have loved you all this while as well, but I just didn’t dare to say it.’"

My grandmother smiled when she finished her story. I knew that the memories of her dead husband were replaying in her mind.

“Your grandfather was smiling when he died. Doesn’t matter how long we live as long as we live with a smile on our face.”

No life is a waste. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone.

It's Mother's Day today...Happy Mother's Day to one and all. Guess this would be applicable to my mom, my grandmom, and even my two sisters. Haha..anyways..still a little heady from the wine last nite. In fact, I just woke up awhile ago. From the Passito range, sweet wine. But man, it was rather strong. Thankfully the rashes were not as bad today. Heh...So I shall just load some pictures; taken during CNY (yeah I know I always lag abit). We went to Moses' place for dinner on a weekday after work. People who were there: Moses, Michael, Tricia, Lily, Angela, Amy, Isabel and myself. Sophia would have been there too, if not for the fact that she was far away in the US. Anyways, not a bad turn-out actually. I look fat don't I?! Heh. Enjoy.

Fulfilling Dreams...

...and I'm on my way to fulfil one of my (many) dreams!

Just two days ago, I received the letter of offer from NTU for, yes! admission to the Masters in Mass Communication! Yayy!

It didn't really hit me initially, until last night, when I logged on to the NTU website to officially accept the offer, and to do the first bit of the administrative stuff. And this morning, I went online to suss out the various modules, that's when I began to get excited and hyped up.

Much as I had reservations in the beginning, wondering if I can cope working and studying at the same time (I still do have these concerns), I seriously hope I can be more motivated about this Master Course. On hindsight, I somehow had the feeling that I'm hoping to "right the wrong" I did myself when I was doing my degree in NUS. Perhaps I see it as a second chance sort. If it takes one wrong to make me wake up and smell the coffee, then so be it, I'm glad for this second opportunity. But you know me...my talk is pricier than my actions. I know what's right and to be done, but sometimes, doing it is a whole new game. I really need to stay focused and motivated. I'm not saying I'll shine and be a top student or something, but I really hope I won't mess up this time. I seriously hope it won't take like two or three wrongs to really get down to the right thing. *cross my fingers fervently*

When I was in secondary school, I knew I was going to University. Even when I was in JC, when my results sux big-time, I knew I was going to make it to University. And once again, when my results sux big-time in University, I was focused on getting a job in the industry I desired, doing the job I want. I had figured out what and where my interests lie when I was awaiting matriculation in University. And once I graduated, I told myself I would want to further my education. I don't wish to stop at just a degree. As in, I had intentions to further my grasp of the media industry and/or acquire knowledge in other fields, such as law or linguistics or something related to political sci. So that would materialise in the likes of a Master, or Degree in some non-related field. I was actually still procrastinating about studying, and worrying about studying, and uncertain if I should submit that application.

Well I guess Jac was the one who nudged me to it. Good news is, yeah, we'r going to be classmates! THough it's too early to tell if we'r going to do all same modules (unlikely I think, but at least 90% perhaps?), but I'm glad at least there's someone who can motivate me along. At least we can mug together when it's exam period huh? Haha...

It's interesting how things came to be between Jac and myself. Back-date to two years ago, I'd never imagine that I would become good friends with her; and I'd rather die than even be near her...much lest to study with her. I thought she was b*tchy and mean. She works for one orgn that's actually a client I'm servicing. Which effectively makes her my client too. Totally unimaginable that we are would-be classmates. A lot of stuff happened in between, but anyways, I'm glad we are firm friends now. Can't say best friends, but I know I can count on her for a lot of things. For one thing, she's seen more of the society, and there are certainly stuff I can learn from her. She's like an elder sis who can guide me, and I'm really thankful for that. I just hope we won't turn too competitive studying together. Heh...In Isabel's words: "Oh no, are you both going to start comparing scores then turn foe?" Haha..that would be interesting if it happened. I mean, imagine we doing our classes together, arguing or something, and the next day we would still have to do work-related discussions. Hilarious. But yeah, I know both of us should be mature enough not to let that happen.

I still am worried about working and studying at the same time. Imagine working the whole day through, rushing off for classes till night, going home to do assignments, having to research for projects, mug for exams, and all the time working in the day-time. Or cover events at that. Or bringing work home to do. Gosh. What's ironic? I'm scaring myself with the reality again. Very real indeed. I'm especially concerned about feeling exhausted and burnt-out. But I know I'm strong enough psychologically to overcome any initial stress. I'll probably just have to cry it out is all. Heh. Well I guess I just have to grin and bear it through somehow. There must be a way through. I can't worry too much too huh.

Which was what I told Fen last night too, when she was voicing her concerns about studying and working at the same time. She said she had intentions to do an MBA too, but was worried about juggling work and studies, especially when work is heavy. I told her I had the exact concerns then & now too of course. In fact, everyone has the same worries. She had a lot of what ifs (me too), to which I told her, "If you are going to factor in the unforeseeables too, then one can never worry enough." Wise words, no? That was what my 2nd sister told me too, when I first told her I had intentions to do my Masters. SHe was patient to begin with, when I told her my concerns...but when it got a little out of hand (you know how insecure I am, and how I tend to 'think' too much), she got impatient and said something to that effect. And that sort of gave me a "ding!" hahaha...ok, hopefully with that in mind, I can hang in there and go through this would-be tough but enriching period. Anyhoo, I know I'll have a lot of people to lean on for support anytime I need. Especially you =) I know you'll be there for me...and I really appreciate that.

This year is an "education" year for my office. Isabel is currently doing her SOT (Sch of Theology), though she will be done by Sept; Tricia has enrolled in a three-year Biz Degree Course at UniSIM, and her school will start in July; then of course there's myself, starting my Masters in August. Good, then we shall all piah together during the tough exam times. Imagine all of us stressed together, but encouraging and egging each other on. =)

I haven't told my boss of my acceptance as yet. I would need to work out an alternative work schedule with her too. My classes will start at 630pm at NTU, and my official hours end at 6. I would need to set aside 1.5hrs at least for travel, which means I would need to leave office at 5. I'm not sure how we can work things out, but I definitely have to talk to Cindy about it. Oh well, that'll probably have to wait till I've confirmed what modules I'm taking, and therefore how many days a week I'll be going for classes.

Guess my mom's reaction when I told her about this news? Well she was thrilled of course, but puzzled why I opt for part time instead of doing this full time. Duh. I'm no ah siah kia loh. Hahaha.

Okie, time for bed. I've gotta cover an event tomr morning. Imagine, having to travel from my home in almost-extreme west, to extreme east (Downtown East) by 9am. -.- I'm terrified of over-sleeping or worse, waking up to realise it's alredy 10am. *!!!* To bed now!

Mindless Entry...but who cares!

And so the weekend has drawn to a close. And I didn't do any work despite lugging a crap-load back. Sigh. Yeah I know...I could very well be spending this time doing my work than blogging here. Not that I have anything to update on...But I am in the mood to just blog an entry tonite. Never mind that it's probably going to be a mindless one.

My 2 sisters n their families, my bro and myself went Qian Hu today in 2 cars, with the intent to get a new tank. Our original medium-sized tank which houses 2 lionhead-goldfishes (not sure if I got it right...not a huge fish fan), 2 parrot fishes, 10 gardinals and a lobster turned into a fighting ground. One of the parrot fishes is one helluva of a naughty creature, chasing the lobster, biting the goldfish...so my bro decided to get another tank, one to house the 'tame' ones (goldfish, tetras) and the other to house the tiger barbs, lobster and parrot fishes. But well, u've guessed it, we left Qian Hu with 3 more parrot fishes, and headed to Kahtib for a new tank. And from there, we went home with 2 more puffer fishes, 10 neon tetras and 2 'autos' (something that eats rubbish). And a big tank. Ha...We very nearly wanted to buy the 'Red Crystal', which is a type of small prawns, very nice-looking ones. But coz we've got to have sufficient grass in the tank first, not to mention a proper tank to house the prawns. At present, either of our tanks can't take the prawns...they'll prob be killed by either. Hehe..oh well...

Anyways, we set up both tanks and voila! The fishes are in. Probably shouldn't have new additions for the time being. I would love to have the prawns actually. Hehe..I thnk so far, both my bro and bro-in-law would have spent some hundreds on the fishes, tanks and the works. Goodness...hehe. An expensive hobby.

I've certainly got the blues now...Monday blues. Mainly coz of the tonnes of things I'm supposed to finish. I hate to remember, but I just can't help recalling it. Damn. I guess that's the way things are...You lose the things, the gd memories you hold dear so easily, but you just can't seem to shake off the bad stuff. Hmm..think I think too much now. Ok, I better head to bed now, since I don't intend to do any work. Rather try going into office erlier tomr then, and have an erly start. If I do manage to wake on time that is. Heh.

The Past Week...

Yeah, 'tomorrow' didn't happen...hehe...

Well, it's been a pretty eventful week...busy at work, lotsa things happening at the side...but I'm glad to say that most things did end up on a relatively good note. Phew.

We shifted office on Monday, packing in the final stuff in the old office and moving over to the new office with all our stuff (with the help of movers of course). We began unpacking and tidying the new place, fixing up DIY add-on pieces of furniture (yeah IKEA), sorting out stuff and deciding what goes where, that I left office at 3 in the morning. And we were probably only 60% through then only. My boss sent me home. I was dogged tired, bleary eyed, and my knees, shins, thighs, calves etc, were like a battered warzone - I spotted bruises and wounds everywhere. Super ugly. Sigh. I jabbed myself with the screwdriver, I knocked and bumped against shelves...stuff like that. No choice...I guess that's how things are with shifting.

Thank God we didn't have to cover any event on May Day this year. Traditionally that's one of the more important event days in our calendar. I went bowling with my siblings and their spouses! Been yeons since I had last bowled..and to begin with, I can't bowl for nuts. Shameful to say, I've never bowled beyond 50 points. Seriously! Until that day that is...hehe...I bowled a total of 105 points in the first game! Nothing to be proud of, I'm sure, but for someone who used to average 30s, this is an achievement! Someone give me a trophy! Haha...

Well, I guess what's nice is that my eldest sis and bro-in-law could come along this time. My eldest sis usually can't bear to leave her daughter my niece at home with the maid, so very often, it's usually me, bro and second sis & bro-in-law who go on ktv and movie trips, etc. We bowled, went for dinner, then went to look at fishes and the works.

You see, my dear bro went to buy a small fish tank with 4 tiger barbs on Sat. My eldest niece loves to look at fishes, so my bro thought to get a simple aquarium for her. Thing is, he forgot to leave some water overnight for the tank, so when he came bck on Sat morning with the fishes, he plonked them into the tank directly and added some table salt to 'de-chlorinate' the water. However, the fishes began to turn belly-up barely three minutes in the water. We panicked, and my heart seriously ached when I saw them turn belly-up one by one. I almost had to scream at my bro to get going bck to the shop to get the medicine or watever to 'de-chlorinate' the water. THankfully, however, we decided to go to one of my aunts' place, which was about 5min drive away, to get some 'fish water' from her first. My uncle is an avid fish lover and they have 3 big tanks and 1 medium-sized tank at home. We got half a pail of water from them, and my aunt also passed us a bottle of 'coarse salt' (think it's sea-salt or something..I'm not exactly an expert in this). She told us to add a spatula of this salt into the overnight water each time we change the tank's water...and reminded us not to use normal salt. -.- Yeah...my dear bro so smart right. To think he reared fishes back in his Aussie days. Well apparently, I think the water in my area is super 'chlorinated' loh...Imagine, even after boiling, we could still taste a distinct taste of chlorine. So think about how toxic this would be for the fishes. I guess the water in Aust isn't as 'chlorinated' as the water in Spore. My bro said all he had to do was to leave overnight water is all. He had no need for anything to 'de-chlorinate' the water. Anyways, we rushed back, and the fishes were still alive! Thankfully! Some hardy fishes they are...heh

Well, of course, not everything is nice and rosy. For one, I had a super headache time chasing both Singtel and PacNet to fix the internet problem at my new office. No such luck. Sigh. Had some unpleasant episodes with regards to other matters and issues, but I'm glad that those are ironed out...more or less at least.

Weekend is finally here, though there's still work to be done. I've been deprived of shopping for too long. The itch is coming back soon. Hehe..I'm tempted to do some shopping first in the afternoon before going over to my second sis' place. Last Sat I travelled some 1.5hrs from my home to my second sis' place to go jogging with her. I'll be doing just that again tomr. Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone running with her. She was telling me how upset she was to have different ppl telling her she's put on weight, etc. Her own mother even asked if she were pregnant again. Duh. Such a nice lil' sis I am. Ahem. Hehehe...

It's 330 in the morning, and I'm craving for food...and sinful stuff at that. Chicken wings...ice-cream...French fries...Hmmmmm....

But I think my beauty sleep is more important. I only had 3 hrs of sleep last night. Yawn.

Till Tomorrow...

I honestly intended to blog a quick entry before I go to bed...I swear!

But well...it's nearly 2am now and I really ought to be in bed. I slept at like 3am last night (or should I say this morning) and I was up about 7...nearly killed me. So yeah, forgive me. We'll try again tomr =)