Have You Missed Someone Badly Before? I always have.

You were the best. Or one of the best at least.

That handsome touseled hair, those doe eyes that reverberated your joyous spirit and soul within. That gentleness and yet toughness in you balanced perfectly like yin and yang. That playful glint dancing in your eyes. That smile which never fails to thrill me to bits everytime. The comfort you rendered me far more made up whatever inadequacies there were in my life. I could have just kept looking at you every minute, every second.

You held my hands when I was cold, you soothe my tears when I was upset. I laughed and you smiled with me; I cheered and you kissed me. Your strong arms provided the necessary support while your gutsy spirit gave me much strength. You stood tall and tough when I was afraid, you hug me from behind when we watched the stars.

You were athletic, and you played your games with such fervour while I devoured my books. You were my inspiration, my motivation. My advisor and yet my jester. Life wouldn't have been the same without you.

We celebrated our days together. There was no "you" or "me"...there was only "us". No one else comes close. And you left me with bitter-sweet memories. Sweet because your love made me a better person, bitter because you belong to someone else now.

I don't know why I started missing you all of the sudden, wishing with all my heart and soul that I can return to those days when I woke up looking forward to go to school, yearning to see your familiar figure waiting for me at the bus stop, and spending yet another day going through lessons together.

We were only in secondary school actually. To everyone else, one couldn't possibly have experienced love. They term it "puppy love". Admittedly, much as I was immature, that relationship was sweet and innocent. And that far surpassed anything else. And that was all that mattered. And know what? Much as one becomes mature and in many others' opinion, are better positioned to handle "real" relationships, these just are different. First and foremost, grown-ups complicate matters in other ways. It's not ironical, it's just the way the world revolves to balance things up. You win some, you lose some.

We've both matured and moved on. And much as I've gone thru other relationships so far, and all are unique experiences I must add, but really, he was the best. To me at least. I could have written more to dedicate this piece to him, but somehow words elude me. And I guess I won't ever complete the description satisfactorily too anyway. Anyhoo, wishing YOU all the best now. You have your own life, your own dreams now. You know you have a special place in my heart that no one can replace. You were the reason I smile. Never mind that you probably won't get to read this ever.

Though I will leave word about this entry to someone so that should I die tomoro or something, someone can let him know of this existence and tell him. Morbid I know.