Ramblings.......

Yayy...It's a holiday tomoro; and that means I can take things easy tonite!

*wide grin*

And I'm meeting my sister for some shopping tomoro!

*wider grin still*

I've restricted, bound and kept myself locked up this past one month without shopping. Coz I burst my credit last month. Sigh...Well, it's the end of the month! Means the beginning of a new month! Curfew to end! I hope I wouldn't splash my money away tomoro though...*cross fingers*

Anyways, holidays tomoro doesn't mean I can "nuah" my time away. No no...I still have stuff to do, just that I can afford to take things abit slower. Let's see, firstly, I have to clear some work from office. Not having to work tomoro (May Day Rally remember? Boss & Eve will be covering that =D) doesn't mean I can shake-leg-sing-song. On the contrary.

Next, I've got to prepare some exercises for my student...the Sec 4 one, not the Sec 1 kid. I'm beginning to feel the sweat, that time is running out. I need to go back to basics and get him revised on simple stuff like synthesis. Yeah. His vocab is weak, he is poor where para-phrasing is concerned...amongst many others. Technically, he has another 4 to 5 months to go before his big 'O's; but really, there isn't much time to slack now. Of coz he still has mid-year and prelims exams coming up, with the former happening next week, but who cares about mid year exams when the 'O's will pretty much determine where you go next. With the way time flies, I don't want to wake up tomoro realising that the exams which will play a huge part of his life are here.

That younger boy has got me really worried though. Since last year when he was in Pri 6, he was already hooked on the computer and games (both online & offline)...big-time! Basically, his non-sch hours are taken over by PC time. And the way I see it, he's gotten to a level of what I call, an obession. His mom doesn't know what to do. Sure, she scolds and screams at him, turned off the broadband, his bro (the Sec 4 kid) tries to blacklist that website, hide the game disk, etc...but all to no avail. Coz his mom is soft-hearted (according to the older boy lah). She gives in everytime to his tears. *rolls eyes* Just now when I was there giving the older boy his lesson, she actually told me to scold the younger one, and make him stop playing. I was really...speechless. I didn't know what to say, really.

I mean, I blame myself when he doesn't do well; knowing full well that it was the kid who didn't put in the effort in his books. His efforts, his heart and mind were all concentrated on the PC. For starters, the mom should harden her heart and resolve not to give in to his tantrums...and then confiscate the laptop. I know, this will settle the surface issue only. Underlying issue is, they need to be stricter with him. THen again, who am I to criticise their disciplinary methods?

ANYWAYS...I gave him a little pep talk when it was his turn. Hmm...I think that pep talk probably did help a little. I didn't scold or rant or trash him or anything. Amongst the many things I preached, I told him I was treating him as a friend, as an adult. The reason why I wasn't scolding him was because I believed him being a smart person, would know what I'm driving at. Then I laid out some possible consequences of likely scenerios if he didn't snap out of this phase soon...coupled with some very real examples (about my friends..heh). Then I introduced the notion of "cherished sins" to him (thanks to one of the BS sessions I had...Ha!); about how he knows something is wrong, and being the smart boy that he is, he knew what wrongs he needed to right. I proceeded to empathise with him (I do, really!), about how I'm not without fault too, about how I'm trying to improve myself too. By the end of the pep talk, I had him nearing tears, eyes red and watery. It wasn't that sort of tears that resulted from being yelled at. This is the carrot approach. Lastly, I closed the pep session by telling him I understand how he needed to relax and play too, and I don't need him to stop playing, but I want him to cut down on his gaming time, and give a little more attention to his books, given that THIS is the exam period. And through the rest of the class, he paid a little more attention than he normally does...=D Man, I think I do have the art of persuasion sometimes...hahaha! Yeah, especially after the near-burst up my bro and I had with mom last nite. But I managed to placate her...muahahaha! There's technique involved alrite!

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Something "hit" me today. Not the sort of objects hitting you...as in, something intangible...ideas, thoughts, that sorta. It seemed like a message for me, though I'm still not sure if this is really so. You see, I went for service today, and at service, we would get a little thin booklet we call the "bulletin". The bulletin basically is like a notice board (except that it's "mobile" in this case...it comes to you instead of you going to it). So each week, the bulleting will consist of upcoming events, training sessions, seminars, etc. Normally the pastor will run through it with us, but coz this week, we had guest performances and stuff like that, there wasn't sufficient time. I hadn't barely looked through it myself too. Then Cindy, who was sitting on my right, nudged me and showed me this events page on the bulletin. It was a mission group looking for 3-4 more volunteers, on a building expedition to Mongolia.

Now so far, most (not all though) of the mission trips announcements I've seen are primarily to reach out to the people there. Not that this one isn't, but this one seemed to be primarily a building expedition, amongst the usual tasks. Now, I told Cindy way back that when I was in NUS, I've always wanted to go on such building expeditions. Back then, there were two I nearly went on, one to China with a NUS society that was cancelled eventually, the other one being organised by the Spore Prisons. But I couldn't make it coz it was to take place durin my academic time. Bleah. Anyways, I was beginning to take an interest to this one. I told myself that I would go home n think about it. THen the service began...and today's sermon was on Faith and Acts - Acting on your faith. About how faith and deeds work hand-in-hand together, that it was not possible to have either/or. And it also touched on service, on putting into action our faith what we should be doing. Now, isn't that uncanny? Food for thought huh...As the sermon went on, it felt like the words were spoken for me. Cindy told me to pray about it. Sure I would, coz I do have doubts about it myself. For one thing, I'm not sure if I'm ready. I hope to get an answer on this one. I would really love to go actually. If the outcome was that I wasn't ready to go, well...so be it. But I think I would be disappointed. Oh yes, and I was thinking of finding some ways to contact the Spore Prisons guy again, for any of such expeditions. In fact, I had clean forgotten about him, until the sermon today. Of coz, I had lost his email (the only contact)...I only remembered his name as "Mark"..not bad already ok, coz that was some 4 years ago..and I don't usually remember names of people I had one-off contact with. This probably says something again. Hmmm....

Anyways, I told that Sec 1 kid about this expedition, and he got excited too! Not bad...heh. I even told him mabbe he would be keen to go on one himself, to see the world. Of coz, it depends on whether his parents would be agreeable or not. But that's another point. The fact that he was agreeable and keen is good enuff *smiles* He was telling me how a simple act of balancing an old lady's groceries and umbrella while sloshing and battling the rain made him drenched, but one very happy boy. See what I mean?

I'm also considering to give my time help out with the charity affiliated to church. Primarily, they reach out and help the young, the youths and teenages, be it in sch work or outside activities. To me, I think it was rather similar to what I did in student council back when I was in JC, and for awhile in NUS. Somehow it seemed like a sort of continuation for me. Makes sense doesn't it? =D Well, if that doesn't work out...then mabbe I'll go join the Youth ministry (if I'm not too old) or....be a Sunday School teacher...wahahaha!

Ok, I think this has been a pretty long entry. *oops* I'm off to watch National Geographic on cable now...a pretty interesting programme coming up at 9pm in awhile - "Secret Bible Week". The discussion today is "Gospel of Judas". I managed to catch the last half hour of that yesterday. Be back to blog more if I'm up to it later *yawnz*

In the meantime, pray that I get an answer, and pray that I can get the contact of that Mark guy somehow. I know imagining and thinking doesn't get me anywhere, but I hope I can enrich my life reaching out to youth & teenagers, and going for expeditions & missions ...and really, to make a difference in their lives. Ha!

Death

These few weeks are indeed getting depressing. One sad news after another.

About a week ago, my second sister's mother-in-law's maid (sounds kinda distant) fainted one fine day. She was rushed to the hospital, and immediately warded into the ICU. That's where she still is today, not out from a coma. Doc says she's bleeding in the brain, and they are running more tests on her to determine her condition. It was really a shocker. No one expected that, since she was so young and able. THen again, we've been told never to determine your state of health through "observations".

And the other shocker came today. This guy we (us in the office) know was diagnosed with cancer following a routine check-up. With a young family in toll, naturally this news affected them rather badly. So far only Moses, Tricia and myself know about it...Moses told Tricia, n she in turn told me. And she told me not to tell anyone else. And I'm in a terrible dilemma, coz CIndy doesn't know it, and I wish I could tell her.

We were doing BS just now, and at the close of the session, I shared with CIndy about my sis' mother-in-law's maid. And that's when I recalled what Tricia told me...then I didn't know what to say/tell her. I wanted so, so much to tell her; but I know if I had told her, I couldn't possibly tell her to pretend not to know it...she would HAVE to do something about it! And if she does approach him, he probably MAY be upset that Moses told, and Moses would be upset that Tricia told, and Tricia would b upset that I told...

Argh..what a mess.

One of my frens said I probably should leave it to the family and not get involved. This, afterall, is their family matters. Well perhaps he's rite. It just gets me so...upset, that I'm sitting across from her just now, telling her what happen to this person (without naming names of coz) and yet, I wasn't able to tell her that this is him!

I can just imagine her despondency...couple of weeks ago, she lost a very gd fren to nose cancer; and now this, within her family.

I can only pray that she would take it well; I know she will be ok. But I'm just really worried for him and his family.

And I just don't understand why...we SAY things like, Oh yes we should treasure one another and make the best, blah blah..but we rarely do it. At times, we probably even dissed the other person. But it takes times like these for people to come to their senses, to start feeling apologetic & sorry for not doing their best for that person, for not being nice enuff, for not being kind enuff, etc etc...Why?

Yah I know, I'm guilty of it too. I remembered the times that I was rude (in the name of jokes), that I was impatient, that I wasn't helpful enuff, that I wasn't nice enuff...so so much more. These are harmless of coz, but it really makes for some heart-breaking times.

Couple of years ago, I articulated to a fren that I was rather fortunate not to have undergone much heartache over love ones who passed on, whether it's frens or family. Guess I spoke too early. It didn't occur to me then that as one gets older, the more separations and partings will come. I was indeed fortunate when I was younger, as compared to some who had already toughened due to lost-loved ones. But I guess we all end up on equal footing eventually.

Close to me was my grandad of course. THen there were others, like this situation. One can never get used to death, isn't it?

Showtime

Quite a restful day today...not too bad. Woke up in the afternoon (yah it's a luxury =D), then did some work before going out for a short run in the evening. Was intending to come home, shower then do more work...but of course, my plans were foiled...by what else, but TV? Sigh..not much TV during the weekdays, so the short weekends are for me to catch up..though of course, I'm hardly able to do that also.

Anyways, I wasn't intending to spend my time in front of the google box...but I turned to HBO and it was showing this movie called "Little Black Book", by Britanny Murphy. I wasn't really interested, coz it sounded like some action movie. THen I read the snippet, and found that it was a comedy. So I thought, Ok, no harm watching.

Well, the low-down is that a woman, an assistant producer with a TV station, has is a person who isn't a risk-taker. And her mom pretty much moulded her this way. She cohabits with her boyfren and this bf doesn't like sharing his gf-history with her. Egged on by her female colleague, she snoops through her boyfriend's palm pilot which causes her to question why they're still listed in his little black book. And his palm reveals his former girlfriends, and she subsequently discovers that he hasn't been very truthful with her with regards to his past.
Anyways, as the story goes, she found out alot more things, but was eventually played out by that female colleague. Not that her bf betrayed her by having affairs or whatsoever, but he wasn't very forthcoming about his current dealings with his ex-gfs...in particular 2 of them.

It was still funny in the beginning...but in the final showdown, it was comedy no more. She finally establishes the fact that all along, her man still loved the first gf. It was a heart-breaking confrontation at the end. At least to me. Of coz it was just drama, but her world came crashing down in that one nite. This movie isn't a "happily ever after" ending, if u know what I mean. That makes it more sad (for me). I like movies with nice endings, with everyone happy. Idealistic...and boring even, some may say. And I love watching movies with intelligent and witty lines/dialogues. It's hard to find a movie like that, but in the very least, most movies would have a few, if not some, good lines. One of the recent movies I caught - V for Vendetta, I thought their dialogue was intriguing. Anyways, the liners and dialogue in this one was ok...not wonderful, nothing breath-taking, but for some of their lines, it was alrite still. Esp during the movie itself, when the lines come across with the desired impact. That brings to mind how those script producers can visualise the impact/effect what words/conversations/speeches bring.

Anyways, here are some lines that stuck till now:

• "I believe we write our own stories and each time we think we know the end...but we don't."
• If we were to share our lives together, why didn't we share our lives together? I know you don't have to tell me everything, but why wouldn't you want to? Unless there is someone else you are waiting for...
• Life's funny like that, once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong.
• John Lennon said "Life happens when you're busy makng other plans"...And then he died.

Oh well...time for bed then...Long day today

Selfishness

RELATIONSHIPSchanged, people fall in and fall out with one another. There are good times, there are bad times. So what holds peopleTOGETHER? Assuredly, what you go through during those timesBINDyou together. But really, nothing pisses me off more thanSELFISHNESS...Granted, every now and then, we tend to put ourselves before others. But what is it that makes some people totallyDISREGARDthe feelings of others? That they only think about howHARDthey have worked for the last 8hrs, and thus how exhausted they are, or how their legs ached, or how they need that seat more. They are blind to those beside them who may have worked the 10hr night shift; or they choose toIGNOREthe ones next to them who may serve customers for a living and have been on their feet the whole day; or they simplyWAITfor someone to give up that seat to the little old lady standing precariously in the train amidst the rush hour crowd, hanging on for dear life. What would it take for us toWAKEup, to come to our senses and beNICEto everyone else? Is it so hard to just take a step back andCONSIDERhow the someone next to us have a biggerNEEDthan us? Is it so hard to just put yourself in that person's shoes for once and see from hisPERSPECTIVE?

Disagreements, quarrels, un-understood (not misunderstood)...feelings of hurt, anger and disappointment. Equates toPAINthat cuts right through ur heart. ButGOODthings do come out of bad instances. An equal opposing force results in all situations. I know those whoSTANDby me, whoCOMFORTme, who show meSUPPORTirregardless of what happens...More importantly, theyTEACHme lessons, valuable ones.

Just as today's BS lesson with Cindy was "Assurance of Answered Prayers". But I guess it was all in HIS PLANS...something especially for my ears, for me. That topic led us to what I probably need most of all times..."Forgiveness". And it wasn't just any simple discussion on Forgiveness. Let's just say I'm at least a little more enlightened now, and at ease. And with that comes PEACE.

Perhaps I can rest a little easier tonite now, despite all these ruckus today.

Simple Gestures Show Greatest Love

COUNTLESS poems and paeans have been written about love. From the youthful, joyous love like the one expressed in one of Solomon's songs: 'Come away, my love, and be like a gazelle/Or like a young stag on the spice-laden mountains' to the uplifting sentiment in the Josh Groban hit song: 'You are the wind beneath my wings ...lifting me higher.... Nothing else moves the human heart like love does.' CDs that sell best are invariably love collections. Light, romantic cinematic comedies like Sleepless in Seattle and My Greek Wedding become unexpected movie hits.

Love is something easy: If it feels like a soft comfortable pair of blue jeans, you know you have it. Sometimes it hits you between the eyes. This will need some adjusting and you really have to evaluate it. Sometimes it only hits you in your groin. That's lust. But the more we sing about love, read about it, watch it unfold in the cinema and our home LCD screens, the higher our divorce rates get, and even higher the legal abortions among our young. Finding a reason for divorce seems so easy these days. A friend who is a marriage counsellor told me that a woman wanted a separation because her husband was snoring too loudly. It is as if true love has been suddenly relegated to the realm of pop culture while it lies wounded on the ground of reality.

But is it? Should one expect love to be akin to the grand sweeps of passion in Gone With The Wind, or comparable to the aching emptiness in Casablanca, or the cold lyrical love in Dr Zhivago, for it to qualify as true love? Or is the greatest love to be found in the little gestures that one person shows for his or her partner? I was moved when I read how one of Singapore's founding fathers, the late S Rajaratnam, expressed his love for his late wife. Fighting off Alzheimer's disease, he wrote little notes to himself. One note found under his wife's photo read: 'This is my beloved wife Piroska, whom I married in London, and who died in 1989.' Or did you not notice the way Mrs Lee quietly reached out with her hand to comfort a clearly distressed Minister Mentor during the wake ceremony for Rajaratnam?

On a happier note, I was touched when Dick Lee's mother, Auntie Liz, held the hands of her husband, and, looking into Uncle Kip's eyes, sang unabashedly her own version of the old Platters' hit song: 'Or-Nee you, can make my ...'

'Or-Nee' is a very sweet yam desert that happens to be one of Uncle Kip's favourite Teochew dishes. They were celebrating their 50th anniversary together, a truly wonderful couple. Love such as these is true love.

Yet, I must ask: What love can be greater and truer than that of a man who willingly dies that others might live?

Useless Ramblings...

No update for ages...been really B-U-S-Y, and stressed up with lotsa things. Thankfully there are still things & ppl to keep me grounded and sane. Not to mention support too.

Ok, between the last post and this one, many things have happened...Big & small alike. It's amazing how my life can change rather drastically within this period of 2-3 weeks.

*Deep Breath*......*Drum Roll*......

I'm Married!!

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Gotcha! Haha...no I'm not married of course! The only one I'm married to is probably my work, remember? Haha...hmm, sorry for being a real spoil-sport but well, I'm not really ready to say anything as yet. At times, I still feel a little, what should I say, unsure? Anyways...

Ok, the long-awaited and much-needed holiday is here (the last one being in Feb rite - CNY?) But sigh....I wouldn't be enjoying much of my long weekend...or should I say there wouldn't be much left for me to enjoy anyway. Tomoro (or today) is Good Friday, and I'm attending 11am combined service. Afterwhich I will have to rush to stand in for my mom for an hour or two coz she gotta go visit a sick uncle. Then, I would probably be rushing back to Bt Merah to Cindy's place for a movie session. That will end in the night time. Then I'm considering going back to office on Saturday morning to help clear some of my never-ending pile of work before going for my two tuition classes in the afternoon. Will either go for my run or meet a fren for gym after that. Sunday would probably be worse. There's an Easter Sunrise service at 630am, and the combined service is at 830. After that, I've gotta go stand in for my mom's part-time staff for a couple of hours. My dad will come take over in the night time, which yeah, means I get to go home only at night. I feel tired already.....

Await the next holiday? That's 1 May, Labour Day - all the more I can't rest. I probably have to work on that day, since the Labour Day is the most important day for the Labour Movement and the Unions. And yeah, many of my company's clients are from the Unions and Govt agencies. *shrug* Kena last year already. Oh, Amy's bdae is on 1 May, and Moses said he has already booked the SRC room liao.

Amy --> Don't you go make other plans liao ah...coz cancellation needs a week in advance and Moses will kena fine one hoh. Besides, Moses says he will pick up the tab...using the money he's gonna receive from the Progress Package, which will go into accounts come 1 May. Wahahaha....Hilarious!

Hmm...which means, looks like I've gotta await the following holiday after that, which if I'm not wrong, is 12 May, Vesak Day. It's a Friday, thus long weekend. But I have a feeling it's gonna be like this "long weekend" too. -.-"