Short Trip

Just came back from a short trip on weds...went on a 4D3N cruise with my parents and bro, to Phuket and Langkawi. Call me ungrateful, but erm, that trip sort of reminded me why I have always preferred to go on 'real' holidays with proper destinations than spending days on a vessel then going on land trips to places. Heh...I'm ashamed to say this, but the trip was 95% paid for by dad, including the spending $..hee. The last 5%? Well...some cash I changed into Thai Baht and Ringgit thats all.

My parents had a short break away from work, that explains why they could go away. They actually had to put in long hours for that silly business..imagine having to work the whole yr through, and the only rest you can have is the first 2 days of CNY...and the rare off days that probably happens only once every couple of months. Anyways, enough of that. Point is, nonetheless, it was still a good break. Well...I just came back from Phuket last August. Nice place to go to, but this time, the company I had wasn't right. Langkawi? Well...it's a super sleepy town. Boring, to say the least. As I've told everyone by now, the most strenuous profession on that island is probably the cashiers working in the mall (if you call that a mall, that is). But you know...it's kinda sad too, if you think about it. Imagine someone your age, running a coffee shop for the rest of your life, not having seen the world or done anything more than that. I dunno...I just find that kinda sad. Life is definitely more than that, yet these folks won't know life beyond what they are living now. Oh well. At least they are their own boss? Ha...

Tomoro is the day when we'll move office. It was a super bad, unfortunate, unlucky, suay, whatever-you-call-it Friday that day. Anything that could possibly go wrong did go wrong. Anyways, I don't want to be reminded of that day. More like black Friday. And this week is a crucial week, with the moving, the logistics that have got to be in place and running...man, that's enough to kill me. Not to mention the work that I'm supposed to submit loh. Still haven't got orders for work on labour day (yeah it's a holiday...tell me about it). Hopefully we'll be let off this year. Arghh. Enuff said.

I haven't touched my work one bit, even though I lugged home the whole batch. Went out on Sat, and spent whole of Sunday (today) packing my table. Remnants of my house-moving almost 2 months back. Yeah, I was waiting this whole time for the last bit of the furniture-puzzle to come in before I can unpack the last 5 boxes of my stuff. Hey it isn't easy alrite? I moved from a smaller to bigger house, but bigger to smaller room. Sigh...tell me about it.

I had to do selection of what goes where, where to chuck the others...well I guess my room can be considered completed...but not my table. Whatever that's supposed to go on my table is chucked on my table...a heap of mountain. Will only get to do it on Tues, if I don't have to work. Otherwise, have to wait till next weekend...AND I simply hate having things not in order, messy and all. Urghh..

All that packing has left me sleepy. Perhaps it's the late night I've been keeping too. *yawn* Feel like a hungry ghost today..dunno why. I've been eating non-stop this whole day...gosh. It's nearly 2am..I oughta go to bed soon...Otherwise the Monday will be real blue tomoro. Or should I say today. Anyways...I've got lotsa photos to put up...but I'm a little lethargic to deal with them now. So I shall put up some first.

Just some random pictures that I took with Isabel that day when we were working late. Boredom took over, that's why. Haha...

It Hurts

Why am I so infuriated? Why am I so upset? Is it your indifference? Is it your impatience?

Why is it that I always feel that you don't care enough? That you treat others better than how you treat me. That no matter what, I always feel secondary. I always wonder about how different the situation would be had you remained in spore...about how some others will always take precedence over me...about how others will always have priority of your time.

For some reason, I can sense your holding back. Perhaps it's reasons I alredy know about. Or more unknown, unexplained ones. And I hold back too. I don't dare to give, because I'm afraid of the hurt. But you know what? It already hurts.

Is it my own insecurity? Perhaps. I do not know. What I do know is the hurt. And exhaustion will eventually follow. Because everything is in limbo, it's tiring to wait in the unknown, for the unknown. You know how it's like; you were there once. At times, I wonder your way of doing things, your way of rationalising the situation. That's fine, since you reckon you know yourself best and what it is that you want. But there are times when I wonder what I am doing...blindly.

Some photos...

It's exasperating how sometimes when you want something so much, and yet you don't get it, or it doesn't happen...And just when you don't expect anything, something creeps up..and sometimes not one, but two, or even three at that. And you end up being at a loss, not sure what to do next, unsure if your next decision would be a right one. Anyways, I'm just grousing.

I went to cover an event yesterday (Sat) at PSA club. It was organised for the Myanmese, who were actually celebrating their new year. But woah...it was a super duper testorone-charged event loh...I was like, the 1% female amongst the 99% males there. There were hundreds of them...thankfully, they arent really out of hand or anything. They were quite polite in fact.

Anyways, the event ended late. I was supposed to join Pauline at her club for some steam spa thingy at about 6, but by the time I reached home to drop the camera first (can't expect me to lug that bulky & expensive thing around), it was already 730. I only had enuff time to freshen up a little before going out again to meet her. And knowing her, she had another female fren with her. SHe likes to bring her different groups of frens together, which is perfectly fine with me, so long as her frens are nice and not snobbish or wicked u noe...so far, her frens are really nice ppl. =) The last time we went St James, she invited her fren, who brought her boyfriend, who went there to meet another group of 10. Haha.

Well anyways, this time, her fren invited another of her fren along too. By the time we met, it was almost 10, and we went for dinner. And on the spur of the moment, we went ktv after that. Now, because Im a bad singer, I'm shy to sing in front of ppl, unless its the usual grp of ppl Im used to, aka, office ppl; siblings..

So yesterday was the first time I actually went ktv with a new group...a small, but 'stranger' group. And they all have good voices loh..sigh. So well...I had the feeling that there was an intention that Joscelyn, Pauline's fren, brought her fren (name's Fabian) along to matchmake him or something. And I became their target, which was really strange! I mean...ok, Joscelyn is a really super nice girl, and though I could get along with her as if we were like old pals, fact is, I had only known her like 4hrs at best? Haha..so it's kinda funny to have a 'stranger' matchmake me and her fren. Kinda amusing actually, I must say. Heh...

I had a little 'scare' the last time I went out with Pauline. It was supposed to be movie date for both of us, but she ended up bringing a male fren along. Knowing my good fren, I was rather sure she brought him out to let me 'assess'. Her male fren (Kevin) brought his guy fren along, and it ended up a double date. -.- WHich is perfectly alright with me, really. So of course, I grilled her and she told me she does fancy this guy, but she's getting mixed signals from him. Hmm...

The real 'scare' was not the double date, obviously. It was what happened after that. The next time I met up with Pauline for dinner, (a couple of days later), I asked her for her low-down on Kevin (which she hadn't told me as yet). And after her story, she told me what transpassed between the two of them when they met up for an event the next day after the movie. Basically, he asked her about me, and the stuff we do. *!!!* I felt so super bad, u noe! At one point, she even thought he was going to ask her for my number. Gracious me...I was so scared that she would befriend me or something. I assured her that he was probably being polite about asking the stuff we did together. For all we know, he actually is after info about her or her lifestyle, yeah? Of course, I didnt give her unnecessary false hopes too. It was also based on the other stuff that she told me earlier.

Anyways...she assured me that she wouldn't fall out with me over a guy, unless of course, I did stuff on purpose. SHe would, in fact, be thankful that she knew whether the guy was interested in her or otherwise. Of course she would be broken-hearted too. I just hope she wouldn't think I'm out to snatch guys with her or something...and her guy at that...Oh well.

Anyways...some long overdue photos. More in the process of editing...but here are some first. Notice how we are all in black? Well it's coincidental =)

Not sure if I had mentioned before that I bruise super easily? Well, this outing was the time when I went home to discover two mysterious fingerprint bruises on my arm. As you would see from the pictures, I was wearing long-sleeved blouse, so I didnt know about the bruises till I got home and was in the shower. I was cold right down to the core upon noticing it. I was sure nobody had grabbed me or anything. *shudder* heh...

Crappy Day

I decided to go off early today instead of staying behind in office. Isabel was going for some visitation while Sophia went to get a hair cut. So well...I initially intended to come bck erly and go for a run, but coz it was raining like animals at my workplace, that sort of put a damper on the running motivation. Yeah I noe..probably an excuse. So I decided to re-route and head to my doc instead and pick up my medicine that he owed me the last time coz he didn't have stock. Yeah I know, kinda duh rite...

Well anyways, I went to the doc, pick up my med (had a short chat with him) and discovered to my horror that I may be putting on weight *gasp* Sigh...that's what 2 weeks of laziness (never go run) and mindless downing of food and tidbits do to ya. Ok, I have another try tomr after work, to come home erly again and go do my run. But you know...after work is kinda tiring already. So...I guess we'll see. Heh...

Lately I've been awfully tired...and easily tired too (dunno issit due to my not exercising sufficiently). Last nite was a gd example. But the damn thing is, when I plonk myself down in bed (it's 2am already), I just couldn't catch a wink. I tossed and turned in bed till 2+ or 3 I think, and I finally fell asleep (you know how you will know you are dreaming or sleeping, yeah?). But before I knew it, I was awake again, the time was 4+..and I didn't fall alseep again till 5+. Super sickening. So there you have it...I woke up a darker-than-usual-rings panda.

I went into office super tired and sleepy...and guess what? The stupid aircon chose to break down today -.- it was spewing hot air loh...and it was uber stuffy inside (coupled with the hot temperature outdoors), that all of us were so irritable. Rising temperatures literally. Kinda like a slow cooker man. At one point my oxygen-starved brain was ready to give up that I felt so faint and was ready to throw up...really can't stand it. And I went to take refuge in my boss' room (her room's aircon was working beautifully). The repairman came in at 4+ only loh...by then I think we were half stewed already. Best thing is, this isn't the first time the aircon died on us. It's been repaired countless times these couple of months. The aircon repair guys simple sux man. Everytime I see them come in, pump gas, fix a bolt here and there and that's it. And the aircon breaks down. And the cycle repeats. C'mon...they aren't addressing the problem loh. I'm like, whatever happened to 对正下药 huh? Anyway, they basically charge each time they come loh...isn't it their responsibility to ensure that they eradicate the problem huh? Pissed.

Hmm by the way, my dad has got another person to come in and do a quotation for my table. This time, the guy (his own business, has a factory) came down and took the measurements and gave a quote on the spot. He's a nice middle aged guy, gentle and kindly..AND his quote was waaay cheaper than the other fellow loh, who probably sub out to someone else (thus the mark-up). The other guy quoted 1200 (siao) and this elderly boss gave me a quote of half of that sum. Big diff huh...luckily wasn't stupid enuff to be swindled. But of course, I still have my reservations that the table may turn out to be sub-standard...but sigh...just have to hope for the best liao.

Somehow I seem to be in this brooding, sulky mood...don't feel like talking to anyone. Kinda like ostracising myself. Oh well...mabbe I ought to go to bed early today. After I'm done with this batch of photos...soon enough will be able to post up neh. Yayy.

Nothing much...

I'm pretty sure you would have noticed how things are more fun when done together with your friends, how humour is more hearty, more pronounced when you laugh with your friends...even food tastes better when you share them...warm and gratifying.

Im not sure how it is with guys, but we girls are generally ok about sharing food, sharing drinks, sharing desserts. Sometimes it's not about saving money or so that we can have a variety of choice by sharing food, but well...food just tastes better I guess.

It's the same ol' McFlurry ice-cream...but shared by three gluttons - Sophia, Isabel and myself. Hee..I must say the ice-cream tasted exceptionally good. Initially when Isabel suggested to share ice-cream, we thought she was refering to the 50c cone ice-cream. Haha..well, that would be a little erm...icky to share isn't it.

Well, we are barely out of a busy period when the next one is already descending on us. What's more, with effect from next week, Isabel will be going for her 3-mth bible studies, and in the meantime, she will be converting to part-time status. Sigh..means we will have to contend with pile-ups and tighter work deadlines. I don't think Sophia can help much, coz she would have alot of her own stuff to handle. Sigh.

Today was rather bad in office...everything was rush and urgent and demanded attention. I had a migrane so bad, a really pounding one, that it felt as though someone, or something was pressing down on the right lobe of my brain. i felt so weak that it was as though I would pass out any moment. It's strange, coz much as I've had migranes before, but none was really as bad as this one. It was a good thing I was in an ok mood today. Haha..otherwise I probably would not have been as patient with the clients. Anyways, I think it's nothing much. I attribute it to the unhealthy lifestyle I'm leading these past 2 weeks. I've been procrastinating and have not run for the past 2 weekends alredy. Heh..

Ok, guess I ought to put up some pictures real soon to liven up this blog. If not it looks a little dull and complain-y. Heh..I've got loads of pictures, untreated still. Hmm..I ought to get down to it soon.

Dedicated to you...

...for the man you want to be, for the man you almost are...

She'll let you in her house

If you come knockin' late at night

She'll let you in her mouth

If the words you say are right

If you pay the price

She'll let you deep inside

But there's a secret garden she hides

She'll let you in her car

To go drivin' round

She'll let you into the parts of herself

That'll bring you down

She'll let you in her heart

If you've got a hammer and a vise

But into her secret garden

don't think twice

You've gone a million miles

How far you'd get

To that place where you can't remember

And you can't forget

She'll lead you down a path

There'll be tenderness in the air

She'll let you come just far enough

So you'd know she's really there

She'll look at you and smile

And her eyes will say

She's got a secret garden

Where everything you want

Where everything you need

Will always stay

A million miles away

Roadblock...

Hmm..it seems that lately I have been posting rather depressing stuff only...guess I'm too influenced by all that's happening around me lately...which isn't a gd thing, is it...Means I get overly affected le...

But really, there doesn't seem much happy things I can talk about (means don't have, not that I don't want to talk about them). I'm facing alot of backlog at work; I found out some stuff abt an issue that has been bugging me for the longest time, tt seem to suggest tt I may just end up upset and depressed when the issue comes to a closure (yeah, it's only a deduction on my part, but still...mabbe it's intuition?); I'm losing interest in my own life...as in, I don't find as much pleasure in alot of things anymore, even in things I used to love or enjoy alot...Nothing seems to have any taste...yet I find my life mundane and boring. Contradiction, I know.

It's kinda like, I've lost purpose, lost drive. Instead of looking forward to gd things happening, I seem to be dreading things...ok granted, perhaps it's coz things hvnt been going my way, that I no longer want to look forward to anythg. Ok, maybe I'm just being too negative here. Technically, nothing bad really happen..nothing to warrant a "Black Friday" terminology, but neither is there anything good to boast about. It's like, something isn't right, but you just can't pinpoint what it is. And it's bugging the hell out of me. Sigh.

Damn...I really need some good news to give me that boost, that extra perk...if not I think my life may just spiral downwards. Out of control even. I hope help will arrive...I dunno what sort, but......soon.

Just a random thought...

Ever seen something so fantastic, so great, so breath-taking, that you just want to share it with someone, anyone? I'm sure we all have..and it's times like these that words fail you. Try as you may, you can never adequately describe the beauty of what you have seen. Your friends are just left in want of what you have seen, while you, on the other hand, can only be exasperated by the blank/confused looks on their faces.

Or sometimes the simplest things touch you, and yet words are just simply beyond you. It's literally "Beauty in the eyes of the beholder" - only if you have seen it for yourself can you truly, totally appreciate its significance. And yes, you simply wished the other person is able to see it for himself. It is possible in some situations; while some moments, once gone is gone. The magic of that one unique moment cannot be re-enacted or replayed.

=( | -.- |

Aren't there times when you wish you could read someone's mind? Know what's going on in their minds, know what exactly they are thinking...no guessing, no mind-games...n definitely no pain... =( or do you wish you know the future?

But alas...life isn't meant to be so simple. I guess we are made to go through such times to appreciate things, to learn things. I know it's wishful thinking...but imagine, there wouldn't be back-stabbing, no plotting or scheming. And if you know the future, you wouldn't waste time on unnecessary things, or make mistakes. Of coz, like I had said, that isn't necessarily a good thing.

Anyway...I'm just rambling. Frustrated with circumstances..with the way things are.

Well, it's official - we are going to move office next month. And thankfully, it will be an office space still within Tanjong Pagar. Just another nearby building. Not Lavendar, not Paya Lebar...*phew. It will definitely be a push factor for me to submit my application for that new job...no, it will be a huge heave.

The week whizzed by, and the weekend definitely zoomed over in the twinkling...It's gonna be a busy week. And busy means stressful. As it is, I spot two pimples on my face now, one on the right cheek and the other on the right chin. Both of which appearing on areas I NEVER have pimples before. I mean, for me, whenever I have pimples, they always come up commonly under the lower lip (on the outside of coz) or the side of the nose. Imagine my horror when I felt something painful coming up on my cheek. So scared will scar...Sigh.

Oh well..Im just rambling now...dun mind me. Somehow, despite the busy work life I keep, and going thru so many activities to keep me insane, I seemed to find life boring. SIgh...it's like, when there's nothing I look forward to, no matter how many appointments or busy schedule I keep, it still is boring to me. *shake head*

I know there are many waiting to read my gossip..but sorry lah, no mood to blog about them...another time lah..u noe how u need to be in the right mood to blog, much lest blog gossips..hee