Loved, and Lost...

I lost 2 boyfriends in one night...

that's drama fit for dreams la ~

or nightmare, if you'll have it

You know how weird / illogical dreams can be...so don't ask "how come" or "why lidat"...coz it just is. Ok ok...it beats me too...so, just leave it at that. Here goes: In my dream... ... ... ...

Venue, somehow it revolved around cck / bt. panjang area, which is nearer to where I'm currently staying, than where I used to be staying in secondary school. There's this particular overhead bridge that I was climbing a couple of times in the dream...up and down, over and over again. A couple of characters featured in the dream, most of them from secondary school...of course, we still are friends now, but that's beside the point. My bestest friends, but featuring more prominently is Net and Hui...for good reason I supposd. Net perhaps coz she was close to my ex-bf, hui perhaps coz she's attending the same church as ex-bf now. Then there's Amy too, perhaps coz she hung around ex-bf quite a fair bit. Honestly, I can't remember what the dream was about...just that I had a quarrel with ex-bf, and he went off to marry some other girl (Both of which are true, except that each happened in different spatial periods). Then after the quarrel, I saw my other bf (current bf in reality) with another girl. Eh, how I come to have two bfs, don't ask me. I stress - I'm NOT like that, I don't two-time.

Inconsequential dream you say. I agree...but you know how sometimes you just wake up from a dream / nightmare thinking it's true because it's just so real? Well this was one example. I woke up feeling sad and all alone. Honestly, what came to my mind first was the fact that ex-bf is getting married in two months' time. I did feel a tinge of sadness, because of what could have been. But...I'm not going there anymore. I've gone thru that before, and I'm not about to regurgitate everything again. Then I remembered my current bf was in the dream as well, and how he had another girl? Thankfully, before I felt sorrier for myself, I recalled that bf still belongs to me =)

I do wish ex-bf the best of coz...wish him happiness and bliss, wholeheartedly. I'm pretty sure the ex has moved on...But for me, he equates to my life's hits and misses. Honestly...I really have no idea how I would feel seeing him walk down the aisle on his big day with his bride. Don't get me wrong, I love my bf totally, wholeheartedly...I have a soft spot for him. But...this ex-bf is not any ex; he's my first bf. It was puppy love, but the innocence of it, the memories of everything...he just holds a special place in my heart. It's not love...but it's just something I can't / find hard to let go of.