There are a thousand and one things I can say now...and yet, not be able to say. I just dunno where to start! Life's good now, everything is near-perfect =) Near, but not perfect yet (nothing can be ever perfect). I mean, of coz there are the things I can go on bitch about for days (money, work, ppl...etc) But I am almost contented. It's like, everything has started falling into place, and I can start being grateful for all that I have now. Or will have.
I graduated 3 yrs ago, found a job within the month despite the economy being down in the doldrums, and even though it's a small firm, the money sux...the job nature and most importantly, the ppl there more than make up for it. I guess I can safely say I love my boss, my boss loves me...and everyone else loves me =) I may not have a lot of dough, but in the least I make enough to give myself a comfortable life.
And as you would have known by now, I'll be embarking on a new challenge in two months' time - starting grad sch. I nearly wanted to use the phrase "starting on a new phase of my life"...but no, I think that doesn't really count. My life isn't going to undergo some overhaul because of that. Rather, my life will change because of the additional responsibilities I would have, that I would have to adapt to.
But I think what is and what will be life changing for me, is the new addition in my life. Strictly speaking, he isn't a new addition to my life. *grin* He's always been around me; friends we've been for close to ten years I think (when I was in JC1). Somehow, things just didn't happen..or rather, it was kinda like wrong person or wrong timing. I guess we've come a long way indeed. There were the wrong people in between, bad situations, etc. It's sorta like what many would have heard before, you are looking and searching, but the person has actually always been around you all this time. Yeah, that's it, something so simple, yet complicated by little twists of fates. But seems that everything has come full circle now. Life's funny like that, once you let go of the wheel, you just might end up right where you belong. And I guess I do feel that with him, he is where I belong.
These past 2 months or so has been life-changing for me...ok, too strong a word. Life-transforming. We both have developed rather fast, but positively, I would say. He was cautious...very, I should add. Or perhaps I should say I don't like to look at things too complicatedly. The world is complex as it is; it doesn't need any more input from me. But well, things remained that way.
Anyways to cut the story short, we had a sort of burst-up, and that's when he realised he shouldn't be making me sad anymore (he told me so...hee). I'm glad things turn out ok. It was kinda surreal in the beginning, coz the fate-twisting moments and the fairytale ending made everything seemed unbelievable. But well...it is happening. Has happened, actually.
Some very important things I've learnt. One - both must want this to work. Both must work together. We all know it takes two to clap, but how loud, how resounding is the applause? That depends on both parties now, doesn't it? How much strength you apply, how fast you bring you hand down, how you fashion your clap (I know this sounds kinda physics-y); it all makes a whole lot of difference. Simply said, it's the effort you want to, are willing to and WILL invest. Talk is cheap, but actions and speech goes together; neither can do without the other. You need to share your thoughts and do it.
The other thing I've learnt - Sharing. Sharing your thoughts, sharing your plans and ideals...basically, sharing your lives. It makes a whole lot of difference, and I appreciate that really a whole lot more because he isn't in Singapore (for now at least). It makes me understand the meaning and value of sharing. I guess that's the case with human beings; when things come easy, we tend to take things for granted.
But I do believe in one thing - what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. *smile* We've had our fair share of quarrels, some petty issues, some big arguments. But at the end of the day, there is an unspoken consensus; that these quarrels are a process for us to get to know each other better. It doesn't entail anything more than learning to understanding each other. Some people tend to see quarrels as a breaking point, that it is an indication of ill-fit. Granted, I'm not saying quarrels are ALL good. Everything must serve a purpose. You don't quarrel for the sake of arguing or winning an argument. At the end of the day, we must solve it, learn from it...or at least move on from it. Much as we feel like a perfect fit, like a glove to a hand, we are also still learning to accomodate each other in some areas. Tweaking and fine-tuning the works. And this is a never-ending learning process. Once you think you've got it all...then I guess it's time to start worrying. Because you can never get it all.
But of course...it helps quite a fair bit that he gives in to me *hee* or rather, he knows what makes me tick...the stuff that makes me melt and go all soft and gooey. Heh...He picks up fast. Haha...
I guess it's all about looking at the positive side of things. I'm probably the last person who has a right to talk about optimism. But hey, there are still things I know I should be positive about. And I'm learning still, to be less pessimistic.
I certainly don't mean to sound like a self-righteous guru now...you should realise that I'm just sharing some aspects of what I have personally gone through. Every person is unique, and that makes every relationship one of a kind too. I'm sure you've got your lessons to share, your stories to tell. I'm just sharing mine. =D but I guess I oughta stop now, in case I become too overbearing. I'll share more in Part 2...soon, hopefully =)
P/S: I've just realised that I took 2 weeks to write, finish and post this entry. Yes, hopefully the nx won't take as long...There are just thousand and one things I want to include la...heh
No comments:
Post a Comment