I have this little rubber duckie that actually doubles up as a calendar. It has this little display section where I have to manually turn cubes of numbers everyday, to show the correct day and date. Kinda like winding a clock, except that I'm "winding" a calendar. And I just can't wait to wind it. I just can't wait for the days to turn faster, that I may just keep turning the days and dates till the 1 July. Sigh.
Yeah I know, it's the final week before the big day. But as I've said, the time just can't pass fast enough. And as we enter this "final" lap before the 1st, it's gonna be the hardest week to pass, ever. I just know it.
The pain of separation is the hardest to bear. Especially more so for a super-emo person like myself. It's not that I'm not grateful that he's coming back, albeit a short 2 weeks. Well he would be back for 4 weeks, but he'll be in Singapore only for first and last week. I know it will kill me when he flies off to the States during the 2nd week, especially when I'm just gonna spend a short 1 week with him before he goes off again. And after he comes back from the States 2 weeks later, he'll only have one last week here in Singapore before he goes back to Sydney.
THough he'll be back for a short four weeks, sorry, I mean two, it's gonna be a tightly-packed two weeks. There are days when we have already planned stuff, but overall, we haven't exactly planned a day-to-day itinerary of course, but we just know it's gonna be lotsa time spent together. *dreamy* I've actually applied for leave le...Hmm, coming to think of it, it's only 3 days. Maybe I ought to see if I can squeeze in more days. But anyways, you know what's the hateful thing? Time is just going to whizzed by during these first and last week, and crawl during the middle two weeks while he's away. -.- Well we all know how time crawls when you can't wait for it to pass (like now), and how uncooperative it is when you simply wished the whole world will come to a total standstill (time passes even faster). Don't we all know that already huh.
I know I will surely weep buckets when he has to fly back at the end of July. Gosh. I hate separations. I hate saying goodbyes, even for the short term. It's kinda like a short long-term, you know.
Looking ahead, it's another six months before he comes back for good. And the thought of that is frightening. But we told ourselves that we are just going to shift our focus on what's coming up in front of us, what's going to come up next for us. And take things as they come, welcoming each thing as they happen. Rather than thinking far till the end of the year, wishing that eveyrthing will be over faster. I mean, sure we do wish for that, but it's harder looking so far ahead now right?
So, to aid us, we've more or less have this 2nd half of 2007 mapped out. He'll fly back to Sydney at the end of July. Then it'll be two months of school for both of us, and I'll fly there for a short break in Sept. Then it's going to be a tough 3 months before he finishes his exams and graduates; and I'll probably fly there again in Dec and we'll do a short tour around before we come back to Singapore togther at the end of the year, him, for good. *smiles*
Short long-term - short because well, six months aren't exactly that bad, and considering we'll be seeing each other in between. We purposely planned it this way so that we won't have to go too long without seeing each other *grin* Well, and long term because, six months aren't exactly short too. Another six months without each other. Though perhaps, this later half of 2007 will be busier for me, and will keep me from letting my thoughts run wild. I had actually planned to fly there last week, to be with him while he tackles his exams. But well...work didn't allow me that luxury, so...SIGH
Coming to think of it, by the time he comes back, we would have not seen each other for four months. It's been a really tough four months. I hope there won't ever need be another such four months. Going as planned, like I'd said, the next foreseeable longest stretch would be that last three months at the end of the year. But undeniably, absence does make the heart grows fonder. I guess in a way, precisely coz it's been such a long and painful stretch...everything will be so much more worthwhile. As they say, good things don't come easy =) And honestly, I'm so looking forward to everything that's coming up this next half year...in fact, everything that will happen for us from now on.
AND...today is the last Monday before he gets back to Singapore. *Wide grin* I know it will be a really tough going this week...but I've just gotta hang in there...I've waited four months, what's another one more week right? Yeah...before I know it, it will be Sunday. Sunday afternoon...it'll all pass. IT WILL ALL PASS! *Grit teeth* Grrrrr....
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