i love this!

I love this song...and just realised that it was a soundtrack from an excellent movie (in my opinion), "Meet Joe Black" (remember Brad Pitt as Death?). Yeah.

It's actually a medley of "somewhere over the rainbow" + "what a wonderful world"...2 very beautiful songs. Perfect combi. To be honest, I thought the original version of the former was cute, but I got tired of it soon after. Same goes for the second one...was nice, but didn't fancy it that much. But this medley, it gave me an unexplicable feelng when I first heard of it. It's not any new medley or whatsoever...it was first performed by someone called "Israel Kamakawiwo'ole", not sure if I've got that name right (this version here is performed by someone else). I caught it when a one-person "band" performe it acoustic, on a guitar. I did a google, and found the "original" was a ukulele version. Not bad sounding still.

I had trouble finding free versions that I could embed on my blog, but found one on trusty YouTube. Do give it a listen. You can ignore the cheesy footage..just close your eyes, and enjoy the music. =D

P/S: I have a "secret" wish, and that's to have a live band perform this at my wedding...if it ever happens. For a march-in maybe? I'm visualising it'll look/sound beautiful & perfect. Ok, that's not-so-secret now. Haha. Do watch it ok?

La La La

I was just looking at my eldest niece, thinking "woah, this girl is spending too much time watching tv!" From the moment she steps back into the house from her nursery classes at 530pm, that's it. All the way, till she goes to bed at abt 10 or 11. Occasionally, her mom brings her downstairs for a walk, but that's almost just it. The wonders of cable tv. Back in the old days, I don't even dream of tv. It's either doing homewk, or assessment bks, or tuition.

THEN, it occured to me - I think I'm spending too much time online. Internet is becoming such a big part of my life, I think I'm almost spending 24/7 of my time on the computer. Except when I'm travelling, or sleeping of course. At work, I'm already on the computer and net. The moment I get home, I turn on the comp. Then I get on FB and play my stuff. Or I chat wf my frens on msn. I go for my nap, wake up, take my dinner or go for my run, then it's back online after my shower, till I go to bed. I'm like, almost becoming what ppl call a "zhai nv". Because of my job, I have almost zilch social life. And because I can't go out to the real world, what else can I do but get on the cyberworld? Occasionally, I try to "enrich" myself with something worthwhile, like reading the papers, my TIME magazine, story books...but when that's done...it's back to the internet. Hmm...I ought to do something about it.

That said...mabbe I should go watch some tv now. Ciao!

p/s: I'm craving for ice-cream now =(

Musings

We feel good when we win something. Be it just a simple game, or when something huge like overcoming a battle with cigarettes. Or when it comes to winning something not-so-glamourous, like an argument. To win, or to succeed at making someone feel bad or really lousy? What kind of emotions course through our veins at that point? Is there really something we can be proud of?

How about the aftermath, when we win something, anything? Satisfaction, pride or complacency? How many of us really stay humble and resolve to do even better the next round?

And how do we deal with loss? Strength to do better the next time, or throwing your arms in the air and say "forget it!"?

Mumblings

Ok, so I've packed my room...albeit incomplete. The task is half-done, but well...it's getting late. Not that I'm going to bed anytime soon...just that my sister would be, so I'd beter stop whatever I'm doing before I disturb the pregnant woman from having her beauty sleep. It's a Saturday, so my 2nd sister usually brings my niece, with her maid in toll, and stays over at my place. She lives at the north part of Singapore, and it's not exactly most convenient for her to travel to my place often enough for my mom to see her and the kid. So the arrangement is such that she'll stay over with us every Sat (almost). Amazing how the apartment can fit so many of us. On Sat, if I stay the night at home, there'll be like eight adults, including 2 maids, 3 kids. In time to come, once my 2nd sis gives birth, there'd be 4 kids! What can I say, other than woah? =DDD

Though I'm much tempted to complain in this entry, I've told myself to refrain from making this a depressing blog entry. So...let's see, what other stuff can we talk about? Hmm...like the shopping I did on Fri? =D Been ages since I went shopping and bought clothes actually. And I wasn't done! There were still shops I hadn't gone into, clothes I was still considering to buy or not...Haiz. But I must say the haul that day wasn't too bad. 2 dresses (though I do kinda regret buying one of them now), 1 culottes, 1 top and 1 skirt. Oh, and a running top, dri-fit. I'm surviving with one currently, and before it gets really washed out or something, I figured I better rotate with another. Not that I don't already own some other dri-fit tops...but they're all with sleeves. I dislike wearing tops wf sleeves when I'm running...kinda irritates me.

Ok, back to Friday's shopping. I had the day off, so got some decent sleep, then woke up and got out. It was a fruitful day, although shopping was all I did. Then I spent the day over at my 2nd sis' place. Before that, I had dinner wf her family. Nice outing. I like this kid niece of mine. =D After dinner at downtown east, walk around abit then went back her place about 10. Got a shower, then "pretended" to change and go to bed...In fact, we were preparing to slip out to catch a movie without my niece =p Caught midnite show "Angels and Demons". Sat morn, my sis took my niece for her piano lessons while I spent the hour loiterin at the mall while I waited for them. After tht, had lunch at Thomson. But I ended up being very uncomfortable with an impending diarrohea. I had only myself to blame, for indulging in that Mac milkshake. I can NEVER drink Mac stuff that has milk ie. milo, milkshake, etc. Must be the milk they use, super high level of lactose, which is so totally not agreeable with the lactose-intolerant me. Grrrr. Anyways, we all drove back to my place after lunch, where all of us, tired from the late night gallivanting, just had to go nap. haha. Night time, went NTUC to get some juice after dinner. Shared with my 2 sis some snacks from Japan while watching a horror but worthless show on HBO. -.-

Hmm..just realised I had almost given a blow-by-blow account of my activities since Fri. Sounds boring I know...but I guess in a way, the simplicity of it all was good fun too. I guess sometimes that's what "rest" is all about - taking things slow, sharing and spending time with people you care about =)

I guess the enforced leave that my company designates for all of us are good in a way. Lesser pay for the time being yes, but at least I get to go on leave, and not suffer freq burn-outs. All of us are going on leave every mth. Yup, my nx leave is in June, which will be in about 2 weeks' time. Then, it's off to Taiwan for "night market exploring" with a gf. More shopping! =DDD BUT means I've gotta try to save more money this month. Haiz. Too little too late =/

But meantime...it's back to work, and back to my life, back to reality. And my future hangs in limbo for now. I'll know the outcome by end of this week. Please, pray hard for me.

existence

The world we live in today is a crazy one...not to mention messed up. Very often, we get so caught up in our jobs, our lives, and basically ourselves, that we neglect and forget the things we truly care about.

How many of us are guilty of taking the people around us for granted? How many times have we failed to consider the other's perspective, and think we are right?

When was the last time you showed care and concern to the ones who mattered? Most importantly, when was the last time you said "I love you"? Me...a very long time.

L is for the way you look at me

O is for the only one I see

V is very, very extraordinary

E is even more than anyone that you adore

Love is all that I can give to you

Love is more than just a game for two

Two in love can make it

Take my heart and please don't break it

Love was made for me and you

what's wrong with people like you?!

Some people are just plain rude

When did I step on your toes?

When did I cross the line?

Plueazzzze...don't think so highly of yourself.

Some golden words of advice here:

People are interested, because they are concerned.

Don't be so defensive and assume the worst of everyone.

life these days...

During the last two years of study, I was every bit the student - the lazy one I mean - watching tv, reading newspapers, surfing the net, etc., anything, but doing my revision. Right up to the time when my exams were round the corner, I was still lazing and procrastinating. I wished for another hour, another minute, another second, just to read one more page, surfed one more website. And it didn't help that my working hours were weird - the other half of my time were spent catching up on sleep. Not many hours left for me to do anything else.

Today, free from exams, free from revision...I've lost interest in the tv, the newspaper, the internet. Haa. Not that I missed studying. That, not yet. A little background here - it was because I found life getting meaningless and monotonous, so to spice things up a lil', I went to pursue higher studies. Of coz, once I was in it, it was a whole new ball game, whole new situation for me to whine about. Anyways, talking about my situation now. I've kinda, lost interest in everything all over again. It's like, I'm back to where I was two years ago, trying to find something to occupy myself, trying to find meaning again. Nothing seems to interest me so far. Got me thinking to the bigger picture - is my dissatisfaction with life because I don't find satisfaction in whatever I'm doing now? Maybe. Back to the work-issue struggle - I longed for normal working hours. Days when I can sleep late at night (I used to sleep at 1 or 2am, wake up for work at about 8am), and still get enough sleep. But this job, sleeping late meant going to bed at 11pm (I wake up at 2am..means I severely lack sleep everyday)? C'mon...that used to be like primetime for me. And having to go to bed early means I no longer have a social life. I can't go exercise, catch up with friends, do dinners, or even go shopping by myself.

No doubt, every job has its perks. Going to work early meant company pays for my cab fares, knocking off when the whole world is working means I get to save $ (plus, I go home for lunch...lagi save more)...But I think at this point, I've come to the conclusion that its perks still do not cover its flaws. Sigh. And I so hate myself for whining and not being able to do anything about it. My friends say, "what's so tough? Go get another job if you're not happy!". Many times I wonder why too. Yes, it is that simple, so why am I making things difficult for myself? I guess the answer is fear of the unknown. First up, I have no idea what I want to do next, so in that sense I don't have a goal to look forward to, or work towards. Plus, I'm hesitant - coz the newsroom is where I've always wanted to be. I don't want to leave it and regret. With that, I guess it brings on a whole host of other issues and considerations. Like, what makes me think the next job I land, I'll be satisfied or happy? How will I know if the same issues won't occur? Or, am I sure I'm up to it? Willingness to learn and having a good attitude, do not equate to aptitude. To which, my friends retort, "you don't try, you won't know". True again. I guess I'm just too....worrisome. I think too much of what ifs. Guess I'm just cautious. I just don't want to disappoint myself.

Well, look at the time now - it's 10.15pm. Time for bed =/

curtains coming down...for now

After a long good two years, it all finally ended on Thursday (30 Apr). Ok, maybe not exactly long...but well, long enough to make the journey feel arduous and painful. So much so that before my last paper, I got so sick of the whole thing, I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I just wanted it to be over and done with. But well, now that it's all over, I'm like.... yeah, just "......." Haa.

Well I'm referring to my "higher education", which has officially ended. Well Almost. I hope I pass that is. Please be merciful, lecturers. I don't wanna grad without my friends. Yeah, I can't wait for convo to come, so that I can take a huge ass number of photos with all my friends! Us in gowns, scrolls in hands *dreamy + faraway look*

Ok results will be out end-May. I THINK the lecturers wouldn't be so unkind as to fail us, know what I mean? But I hope they'll grad us kindly too. So that my CGPA won't be too bad. I'm hoping (against hope maybe) that I'll score at least a B or better for these last 3 modules! *cross fingers + pray v hard* :( Actually...I know I won't do well this semester. Somehow, I'm not confident about any, at all. You know how sometimes you have this gut feeling when you step out of the exam hall, that no matter what, your answers / results will turn out fine? Well I have none of that. And I'm worried. Haiz. I didn't come this far maintaining a decent CGPA, only to have it tarnished and going down the drain just like that, in this last semester! Gawd.

I think I'm just gonna be sitting on pins and needles for this month, and once results are released, whined and be upset till I go for convo, then regret every now and then for the rest of my life for not putting in my best effort in this last semester -.-''