Second Day!

Today's the second day! Didn't sleep last nite coz we went on a road trip, from Brisbane to Byron Bay in New South Wales. It was a long drive, but I was not one of the drivers. It was really fun crapping and cracking jokes along the way. This is the first time that I did a free-and-easy holiday (normally I go with tour groups). Schedule was not as hectic for one, and though of course we don't go to those places that tour groups go to, it was something that I like too. We planned our own schedules, go where we want...Ahh, a real treat and a good way to relax..

Anyways, we went to Byron Bay (which is actually a mountain and cliff overlooking the ocean) to catch the sunrise. In the end, it was so cloudy it drizzled heavily, so obviously there was no sunrise to catch *sigh* But the view was breathtaking (caught my breath!), and the best thing? We caught sight of 2 whales frolicking in the waters before the storm came. Cool isn't it? wow..I wished I could remember every single detail of my holiday, captured in my memory like as if someone was recording it (of coz it doesn't happen). I could only remember the vague details, especially as time passes.

We drove down from Byron, and headed for Goldcoast next to have some cheap and good continental breakfast. Yummy!

It was a fruitful day as we covered alot of locations. We went on to shop at Harbour Town for some really good deals (bought an adidas duffel for my 2nd Sister), went on to SouthBank for a short walk and some cool (Cold Rock) Ice cream. You choose the flavour you want (which is really creamy yet not milky), and the toppings that you desire. Sounds ordinary enough, but what makes this different is that they crush and mould your ice-cream on a slab of rock which is cold (thus the name).

We took a boat ride back to where my brother stays...A "CityCat" boat ride! In Brisbane, apart from the usual bus and train service (mind you, it's not MRT sort), a fast-speed boat is also a mode of transportation (not just something for tourists), which is so cool coz it's not commercialised, where you have to pay a hefty fee just to get a thrill on the boat ride. Imagine, my bro and his friends have a choice of grabbing the bus or the boat to go to school! Cool yah...

It is cold here, especially at nite and in the wee hours of the morning...gets really freezing sometimes. To go up to the mountains in the wee hours of the morning was truly unbeatable (in terms of temp). I was wrapped up like a mummy, with all my winter jackets and neck shawl, wollen hand scarf, beenie..And Melbourne is gonna be 2X colder! Gee, mabbe I should go get that pair of boots and winter trench coat I've been eyeing..heh heh

All of us were beat out and knocked out by the time we reach back home, and rushed for the bed to catch a quick snooze before heading out for dinner at 10pm (which is 8 in Singapore). But I guess we all lacked sleep; you either see bloodshot eyes, or dark eye rings..I got it worse; dark eye rings plus a pair of eyes that could barely hold open.

Vacation Starts....

Yayy...I'm here in Australia already! The time here now is 9:40am, which is 2hrs ahead of Singapore (Singapore is 7:40am). We are on a sort of backpacking holiday, just that we don't follow a hectic schedule. More like a sort of R & R thingy.

I took a night flight; boarded at around 9:20pm. The flight was delayed for about 30min, but otherwise everything was fine. I didn't manage to get much sleep on the plane (now I'm feeling drowsy). But actually, I'm glad I didn't sleep, coz I saw the most fascinating thing!

The lights in the plane were out, and when I look out of the window (I was sitting at the window seat), I saw stars and the universe beyond! Somehow it just look so fascinating! We were flying amongst the clouds, and it seemed like we were so close to the vast universe, ready to reach out and grab hold of the numerous stars and satilites...I whipped out my camara, wanting to take a photo, but due to the darkness and the reflection of the window pane, nothing showed up...such disappointment...*sob*

It shall remain in my memory. The wonder and beauty never seen before, and not seen by the layman or just anyone else...and I guess that's why it seems especially beautiful...coz it's not easily seen *sigh*

ME against the MUSIC

Hmm...Now I'm in the final stages of preparations. My bags and luggages are 95% packed. Right now I'm preparing my mp3 for the "long-haul" flight..ha! To entertain me of course *grin* Downloading more songs and creating a playlists specially for my travelling mood. I have some 30GB in my mp3, of which I've only used 1/4 of the space only *sigh*

Music is a big part of my life. Be it when I'm happy, or sad, or even travelling, I like to listen and express my mood through songs sometimes (not always though). Especially when I'm upset, frustrated or are in one of those negative moods. I would listen to sad songs to make me feel sad, then cry my heart out to feel better. Or I'd listen to happy songs or songs I love to make myself smile. Or listen to fast tracks to make myself hyped up when I'm already feeling excited. Yeah! I'm sure alot of peeps out there are music buffs too rite?

I have this particular habit which can get a little wierd..but oh well, I've been like this for the longest time I can remember so...ha!

Somehow it was like as if I would associate a song to every memorable situation that I have been in. For instance, if something sad happened around a time when I listened to a particular song, it would be as if my mind has "assigned" that song to that incident. Hence, it's as if like I have a mini collection of songs in my mind; and whenever I play a particular song, it was as if a movie is being played. That "movie" of course, is the incident that happened to me (be it unpleasant or otherwise).

Especially "memorable" for those upsetting incidences, such as a breakup...or the happy times I've had during a particular period of my life eg. JC life. Interesting huh? I wonder how any persons out there have such a wierd habit like mine? So far, I've asked the people around me and no, their answer is negative...am I the ONLY wierd one?

Going Away

Ahh...the pleasures of going on a holiday! I'm finally going away for my long-overdue and long-awaited for holiday tomorrow! Let's see, the last time I went away for a holiday was some five years ago...FIVE long years...whew

Strangely, I don't feel really excited or anything. Everyone around me kept asking me this question, and when I told them I wasn't eager-beaver sort, they would say:

1. (On Monday) Four more days to flying off for your holidays! Are you raring to go already?

- Today is Thursday and I still don't feel anything.

2. Wait till you start packing for the trip, you will get keyed up!

- Well I have packed and am almost ready to jet off...but I still don't feel anything.

3. Wait till you are at the airport waiting for your flight. You surely will be excited!

- Is that so? Well...we'll see then.

In my opinion, the following explanations could be why I'm not feeling how I should be feeling.

1. Stress: Even before leaving for my trip, I'm already thinking about the work pile-up and the stuff I have to catch up on when I'm back!

2. I've been to Australia before. Though this time I'll be travelling to more places like Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and perhaps to Cairns, I would be much more excited if I were going to somewhere that I've never been to before. Always does get me hyped up that way. *grin*

3. Thinking about the tons of money I would be splurging...gosh! Gives me a headache already!

4. Premonition? Sometimes I don't feel good/excited when I'm supposed to be, and then something bad takes place. It happens...though I'm not sure if I'm over sensitive.

Anyways...I guess I think too much, worry too much and consider too much. Heck! Just enjoy myself yah...Even if something bad happens, well, at least I would die a happy person...Haha...*Touch wood of course*

But yes, apart from feeling stressed (coz of work and stuff), I am glad that I'm taking a break. In a way, I'm glad that finally, I'm getting a break and rest (more than the holiday itself). And when I do come back, my brother will be back together with me, and little Reiko will see her uncle! Haha...I will miss her when I'm away...and the little four-month tot probably will not remember much of me after I get back. Sigh...

Appreciation...

I think my office people are so darn nice...We may be doing different things, but we still watch out for one another in our own ways (Apart from the occasional spat or office politics). For one, I'm currently doing my packing for my winter trip (abit the late already), and I realise that I lacked a lot of stuff. Panic strikes aside, I was concerned of course of the additional cost I had to spend...gosh

Without even me asking, they asked me if there's anything I lack or needed...She lent me some of her stuff. Even my boss too...and when I thought she would forget about it, the next day she lug a paper bag worth of winter stuff...I'm so touched *sniff*

Sigh...think I do count my blessings having such people to work with...Thank God for them!

My Boss

Remember my ultra embarassing incident yesterday? Of me breaking down in front of my boss? Urgh...man! But she was very nice about it...ok, to begin with, my relationship with my boss is pretty good, we do sharing sessions (non-work related), talk and banter on and off work, stuff like that. In a way, she doesn't really have this attitude that says bosses-employees cannot be friends or u-must-listen-to-me type...Of course, where work or clients are concerned, we maintain our professionalism. Behind the scenes then we are our usual uninhibited selves. I guess it helps that both our personalities are rather similar and we are able to click. Then again, I guess with our individual personalities, we can click with mostly everyone "normal"..heh

Anyways, she saw my tear-stained face and immediately ushered me to a seat. She asked me if I want to talk...I would want to pour my troubles out but I didn't. One, it was working hours - I don't want her to think that I bring my troubles to work. Two, I can't bring myself to say it! So far, I've only told this matter to my brother...and it was only half the story! I couldn't bring myself to tell the whole truth to anyone else.

She immediately closed the door and tried to get me to talk. She asked if it was work, and I told her no. She asked me if I needed to rest or take a breather, which of course I said no. I told her to carry on with whatever we were discussing, that I'll be fine. We moved on, and I was alright subsequently. Just before we break for lunch once our discussion was over, she told me, "Let us know if you need help or if anyone bullies you...we have our means!" hahaha...It was more like a joke, her usual manner...but I appreciate her sweetness and thoughtfulness. Whether it's true or not, I'm thankful for her concern!

Why is this happening?

I broke up with my boyfriend of more than 5 years just about 3 months ago...Of course there were good memories, but then I have no regrets doing that. Afterall, I've become too disillusioned with him. He lets me down time n again, nv keeps his promise, lies through his teeth, amongst many things.

Too many details to go into, but briefly; I had been the one paying for stuff and lending him money for 4 out of the 5 years we were together. I was reading an article in the July Female Mag, and the ladies mentioned has/had such problems. I did what I did because of blinded love. I loved him, and I believed he did...though I wasn't sure if towards the end, he continued to feel that way, or whether it was companionship n $ that he needed from me.

Anyways, it's too painful to think about that now. The best part is, he is still asking me for money (lending him, he says). N he threatens, demands, blackmail me into it. At least that's the way I feel about it. You see, after my sister gave birth, I had to let my pet rabbit go stay with my Ex. N yes, he threatens me using my rabbit...I'm disgusted, appalled, angry..I wish I could rip that jerk apart. But no, I had to do it his way. Cos I certainly have no other choice. It was an age-old problem I faced with my pet bunny...nobody could take her in, except him. At first I thought he was kind enuff to take care of her for me. But I guess he had an alternative agenda.

Till date, he owed me $3.5K...and that's what I've recorded from year 4 onwards. Year 2 to 4 went unrecorded. And what I recorded includes only what he "borrowed" from me n excludes what I paid. Call me stupid. I know I am. But now I learn my lesson. I wished with all my heart that I had never known him, that I had never accepted him. But I know its futile to harp on that. So I try to comfort n tell myself to be stronger, that this is God's way of making me stronger n a better person (though it's really shit).

This morning I broke down in my office, coz I just couldn't take it anymore. & just at that moment, my boss had to call me into her office for a discussion. Goes without saying that she saw my tear-stained face and eyes. *omg*

Praised!

It's a nice feeling to gain recognition from your boss, but when you are praised by your clients, sigh..the feeling is simply delectable! *Ha!*

Morning, I was with my boss doing a discussion on one of my assignments, when the topic strayed and she told me about a meeting she had with one of our clients whom we write for. She told me that the client was impressed with my work and was extremely pleased. *Heh*

I was already in seventh heaven, and was soon elevated to cloud nine after she told me that the client even went on to ask her from where did she recruit me *ahem*

That did it...It made my day...I'm an easily pleased person...hahahaha

Well, somehow it always happens; whenever I feel down or restless in my job, someone somehow will thank me for a job well done or praised me...sigh...and then I will feel happy and charged again...up-and-down cycle...guess I would stay put here for the time being. :)

Draggy day...

Now is my lull period, and I'm just clearing my work that's been pilling up on my desk for quite awhile, before I get busy again. It's a cycle that I go through, and I'm beginning to get used to it now. Then again, everybody goes through the peak-off peak season huh...Next week on will be my busy period again! Some parts of me look forward to getting my assignments, while the lazy part of me wants to be left alone to stone..oh well!

Next Wednesday, I will be going for an editorial meeting with one of our long-time client to prepare for the next issue's newsletter. In the meantime, my boss handed over another assignment to me...another newsletter. But before that, I must write a 5-minute message for our client which would be read out during their Union's D&D on 24 June. As my boss said, "Please be mindful that your speech will be applaused to by our MM Lee," Ha! Some encouragement.

I'm facing a writer's block so far today, so I've only started collecting information and doing some research...not started on it as yet. 6 hrs after my boss handed the job to me, she asked me for my first draft...sigh!

Bad Day At Work...Not just crap

I feel sooooo...drained! It's crap with the things I have to put up with...

Chronicles of Events:

13 May 2005 -

This day was my designer, Lily's, last day (She was the designer attached to my team). My boss had engaged someone by the name of Amy, and she could only join us starting from 14 June. Wonderful...my boss believed that our team could get by with freelancers. Just great.

Summary of these three weeks -

Let's see, in the past 4 weeks, we had three miserable freelancers who didn't stay beyond two weeks each. It's a miracle how we had survived these 4 weeks! Correction, it wasn't a miracle, it was Yours Truly who did most of the designing (And my designation is NOT a designer)...Call me stupid..but it's either I get the jobs done, or I'm in for a lashing by our clients...Which do you suppose I prefer?

The boss's good friend wanted to save some money for the boss, so she either short-changed our freelancers, or decided that it was not necessary to get one. Oh well...So I did all the crap...So I stayed late every nite to work my butt off...So I didn't have a proper social life...So my own work pile up...So I didn't have enough rest...So I fell sick, but couldn't even take MC...endless 'So's

Shifting here!

I used to host my blog somewhere else...and now have decided to try out Blogger. Seems like a fun place with lotsa interesting members...I love the humour and intelligent wit displayed in most of the blogs I've seen, so far...and especially how peeps here comment at each other's posts...a sign that this blogger is interactive and very much alive..ha! we'll see how things go from here then :)