Why is this happening?

I broke up with my boyfriend of more than 5 years just about 3 months ago...Of course there were good memories, but then I have no regrets doing that. Afterall, I've become too disillusioned with him. He lets me down time n again, nv keeps his promise, lies through his teeth, amongst many things.

Too many details to go into, but briefly; I had been the one paying for stuff and lending him money for 4 out of the 5 years we were together. I was reading an article in the July Female Mag, and the ladies mentioned has/had such problems. I did what I did because of blinded love. I loved him, and I believed he did...though I wasn't sure if towards the end, he continued to feel that way, or whether it was companionship n $ that he needed from me.

Anyways, it's too painful to think about that now. The best part is, he is still asking me for money (lending him, he says). N he threatens, demands, blackmail me into it. At least that's the way I feel about it. You see, after my sister gave birth, I had to let my pet rabbit go stay with my Ex. N yes, he threatens me using my rabbit...I'm disgusted, appalled, angry..I wish I could rip that jerk apart. But no, I had to do it his way. Cos I certainly have no other choice. It was an age-old problem I faced with my pet bunny...nobody could take her in, except him. At first I thought he was kind enuff to take care of her for me. But I guess he had an alternative agenda.

Till date, he owed me $3.5K...and that's what I've recorded from year 4 onwards. Year 2 to 4 went unrecorded. And what I recorded includes only what he "borrowed" from me n excludes what I paid. Call me stupid. I know I am. But now I learn my lesson. I wished with all my heart that I had never known him, that I had never accepted him. But I know its futile to harp on that. So I try to comfort n tell myself to be stronger, that this is God's way of making me stronger n a better person (though it's really shit).

This morning I broke down in my office, coz I just couldn't take it anymore. & just at that moment, my boss had to call me into her office for a discussion. Goes without saying that she saw my tear-stained face and eyes. *omg*