Merry Xmas...and a long update to occupy you for now =D

I think it kinda says something when I can't remember what the last thing I blogged about was huh..hee...I know I owe a super duper long and outdated post. Heh..well, a little hard to find the time..Been really busy and all.

Oh right. I had a peek at my last entry. Hee..Ok, so that was on Nov 19, while I was in the thick of my exams. Yeah, now I remember panicking and whining then. So, the exams came and went, a new job came and went, results came and went. My life's been a wee bit more exciting than has been for the longest time I remember. That's kinda alot to blog about in my opinion. Alrite, with what little time I have, I shall proceed to type my usual very chong-hei entry. Here goes. Ahem.

1. Exams...& results

Well as I've said, exams came and went, results came and went. The exams were rather crap. See, I was so despondent that I gave up blogging about it after it was over. For one, as you would have known, I didn't even finish studying half of it. Nah, probably 1/4 at best. So, for Prof Eddie's paper, it took us a little by surprise. Coz some major topics were nowhere to be seen. Next, some questions seemingly do not seem to make use of what we were taught in class. At that point, I didn't know if I should jump for joy or sink lower into depression. But oh heck, I can't very give up there and then in the exam hall. As I've said, I went in with a mentally prepared to flunk. Ironically, perhaps there wasn't any pressure that way? I don't know. Heh. I skipped one question for Prof Eddie's paper. Or rather, I didn't have time to write, even though it would have been rubbish I wrote. Laughable, for someone who didn't study for the paper, I could run out of time huh..yeah, that's perhaps how chong-hei I am. For Dr Kavita's paper, I turn desperate and ended up reading the lecture notes only. As you would know, lecture notes hold the barest details. But well I thought, for someone who has no time to study anything else, wouldn't that have been better than none? And similarly, I thnk at best I completed studying for only 1/3 of the module. Basically, for every question, I just dumped whatever information I know pertaining to that topic/question. And once again, I didn't finish my last question. I wrote 3/4 page for that question, which if I don't remember wrongly, stands for 20 or 25 marks? Oh..best of all..I was late for Dr Kavita's paper. Haha. What a joke.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but initially, it was thought that C is a pass. Technically, a grade C is "good", meaning still a pass rite? But look at it this other way, we need an accumulated CAP of 2.5 to graduate for all the modules, and a C only brings you a CAP point of 2...hmm...

In any case, I guess I really must thank God for this. He knows how much I don't deserve to pass. And I procrastinate a whole lot. And especially since I know many others deserve better grades than I do. But in fact, He has given me something beyond a pass, something beyond a C, and I know it's not my effort. Some people call it luck, some people call I'm being humble. But really, I'm not. I know where things would have stood for me. Of coz, I still sat for my papers and all. But in a way, I see it as His doing when he planted those questions there. Eg - past year exams, there has ALWAYS been this major topic in communications that sees at least one question being set on it. This time, none. And now on hindsight, the fact that I could do well without doing sufficient preparations/revision probably boils down to 2 reasons. 1, either I've been super attentive (which I'm not really) and absorb all that I've heard, and/or that the questions needed beyond class material to answer (which I did, since I didn't do any revision rite). So there you have it. I passed! And the grades are not bad for both! The next thing I must remember, is to try to keep my promises. Well you see, in moments of desperation, I promise, I swear, I lay down my life (ok a tad too much) that if I could cross this "very difficult" hurdle, I would do regular revision, that I would be more hardworking, etc. Well it's for my own good, so I suppose it's time to put those into actions when school reopens in Jan. *smiles*

2. A New Job!

After four years, I've finally moved on to new challenges. Still the media industry, but a totally different medium altogether. My old job handles the print media, while this new one is TV. Technically yes I still write, but I'm now writingto cater to a different audience. With the medium and audience different, it has become a whole new different ballgame.

To begin with, I really have A LOT to learn...new skills to pick up, even right down to writing skills, and in addition, new things that I've never known about. And you know how daunting that can be. It got overwhelming, honestly it did...to the point that I got turned off, I developed blues...almost like depression. I felt like a 7-year-old who refused to attend Pri 1. At least a Pri 1 kid has more fun than me loh. Haiz.

Oh I forgot to mention. I'm a news producer. Basically I'm part of the team that writes the news for the presenters to read on tv. When the credits roll at the end of the programme, can see my name. Hee..some kind of cheap satisfaction.

The first day was kind..I was on orientation. Basically, to orientate me around the place, the things, etc and WHAM! Day 2 I was thrown into the thick of the action. They let me write a piece or two, and it was kinda hurting to know see my article edited 80%. -.- But now, I've kinda realised that different people have different styles. You see, because everyday, we have different producers, and they are mainly in charge of checking, editing and ensuring that all articles are in and/or good enuff to go on air. So when that happens, I've sometimes got conflicting signals from different producers who edited my work. One would tell me to not do this, while another would be doing that, etc. Stuff like that. And I've also realised that because different producers have different ways of doing things, some just want to edit your work heavily when it's not their style; while another producer would have passed my work with minor changes. So...at this point, I guess it's just a learning curve for me. Not just to learn their different styles, but as one senior told me, to have my own style eventually, to have a particular area I'd like to concentrate on. Mabbe by then, I would have improved and they would think it's alrite to leave my work alone with little amendments.

Come Jan, I'm going to be put on training to learn a new system. I'm looking forward to it, coz I would want to learn whatever there is, and hopefully settle down asap. While on the other hand, I'm afraid of my learning incapability. You see, I always feel that I'm a slow learner. Heh. So since day 1, I've always, and still am worrying about not meeting their expectations, whether in terms of learning ability or skills level.

But I'm glad at least for now, they are giviing me time. But really, I am worrying that they may think I ought to have known this or that by now, which I didn't...how?! sigh...

Everyone on the team seems nice, and they seem to get along well with everyone else. THe chief told me, this is a close-knit team, no politiking. And the way I see, I thnk so too. And if it really is, then I thnk I ought to count my lucky stars...coz I thought after I left my prevous job, it would be next to impossible to find a job with no politicking or backstabbing. Though I must add, the people at the old place are still better. Well mabbe at this new place, they see me as new, and not really one of them as well. I hope the day will come soon when I really can become "one of them" on the team. Sigh. You know how the wk env matters to me more than the money.

Not that the $ isn't good lah..it's definitely better than my old place for sure. And the benefits are better too. So I guess I'm "covered" in that sense. I guess things can be better of coz. I sincerely hope so.

Next up: Low-down on my job =)

What's happening to me!!

I know I ought to be studying now...but I just can't seem to catch hold of my mood. I know I'll feel guilty about blogging instead of doing revision, but heck..I'll leave that to later. I guess I just have to piah doubly hard later tonite.

I completed my first paper last friday...the weeks and days leading up to that was a total nightmare...no, torture would be more apt. Right up to the last week before the paper, I was rushing some stupid assignment. THen when I finally could get down to the proper revision, I realised, to my horror, that 1) there was too much to study and 2) I was studying too slowly. In any case, I was on the verge of giving up. Actually I did throw my hands up in despair...was just too sick of the whole damn thing to get on with anything. Well I guess you can say it was a miracle that I decided to turn up for the paper after all.

I turned up for a paper that I hadn't even revised past 3 chapters. "Gung-ho" huh..but not that I wanted it this way loh. I guess you can really call it a miracle if I passed. I was so depressed...I prayed so feverishly just to let me pass..although the words of the Dean still rang loud and clear in my ears - on average, students should be getting As and Bs...if you are getting Cs (ie. just passing), you ought to look at yourself again and buck up. Nothing harsh, true in fact, but that feeling is really...sux I'd say. And you know what, having come out from that exam, I knew if I had time to study harder, it's really not difficult! And I'd really want to kick myself for this - I just had this gut feeling, so loud and clear, that these 2 particular chapters will surely be tested on...but I just didn't devote time to that. How stupid can I get huh..Well yes, there were 2 essay questions on that -.- Crap.

It wasn't like what I wanted it to be..studying I mean. I wanted it to be an enjoyable process, since the last thing I want is for it to be like how the situation was back in the NUS degree days. I mean, afterall, this is not my first degree, I don't need this to get me a job or something..I want to be able to explore the stuff I'm studying and go more in-depth, instead of studying for the grades. But guess what, as it is, I already am doing just that loh - studying for the grades instead of knowledge. That kinda feeling is distasteful, really. Sigh.

I can't deny what I'm going to do if I really flunk the module. So embarassing rite? but to quit is also equally embarassing! Sigh. But it'll be so sian loh...to have to repeat the module...I not know what to do. Argh. I hope they'll b kind not to flunk me..or that my assignments and projects can help out a little. The last thing I want is to see my friends progressed to year 2 or somthing while I have to repeat a module with my juniors! *Horrors! As if it's of any comfort - Eugene said the same thing too, that if he were to flunk any module this sem (which I very much doubt so), he would quit immediately and cut losses. To which Jac said, logically they'll not flunk anyone, at least not in the first sem, coz they want to earn your $ (sch fees). They know ppl will start dropping out if they flunk, and there goes the $ they can earn. If they want to flunk ppl, it would be till sub sems, when u are so deep into it that you can't quit when u flunk coz you would hv put so much into it liao. Heh...some kind of "wai1" li...(crooked reasoning) haha...

Anyways, I'm still on study leave. Clearing my leave too...I'll leave the news to the next entry *winks...But well, after my last paper, I'll be returning to work on Thursday. Yep yep, my next and last paper will be on Weds...Communications Research. I hate research really, but the prof is a nice lecturer. =) As always, I study for the teacher/lecturer (habit since sec sch). heh. The paper is going to be application style, though it's not open book. It's so me to procrastinate...I haven't had much revision done. Oh well..I ought to go on about it soon...I mean, really really soon, like NOW. Heh..more updates soon...Ciao!

Oh yes...my dear dear is touching down tonite! Happiness! I can see him tonite liao! Happiness! Hee...Can't wait!

a bad entry

I can't sleep...but I need to because I have an early morning event to cover

I can't study...but I have to because exams are drawing near

I seem to have lost interest in everything...because nothing is going right

I'm kinda hurting, and it feels real bad

What a way to start the month's entry

if ever i would leave you...

If ever I would leave you
It wouldn't be in summer
Seeing you in summer
I never would go
Your hair streaked with sunlight
Your lips red as flame
Your face with a lustre
that puts gold to shame

But if I'd ever leave you
It couldn't be in autumn
How I'd leave in autumn
I never will know
I've seen how you sparkle
When fall nips the air
I know you in autumn
And I must be there

And could I leave you
running merrily through the snow
Or on a wintry evening
when you catch the fire's glow

If ever I would leave you
How could it be in spring-time
Knowing how in spring I'm bewitched by you so
Oh no not in spring-time
Summer, winter or fall
No never could I leave youat all

Bangkok Photos

I'm absolutely in no mood to blog. Well obviously, I'm back in Singapore after a wonderful 2-week holidays. It's depressing to be back in reality, where work and school just dictates every hour, every minute and every second of my life.

Ever since I got back from Aussie land, I've started dreaming again. Eh, I'm refering to the literal dreams, the dreams that bug me at night, every night. Before my trip, I was having dreams, nightmares and what-have-yous every night. During my trip, it was perfect..nothing. No dreams to keep me from a good night's rest. Ever since I stepped onto Sunny Singapore, Ka-boom! You have it - the dreams come to me EVERYNIGHT without fail. Some horrifying, some ridiculous. I just wake up tired, like having not rested. I tell everyone I have the good fortune of "watching" a movie every night. When I sleep that is.

And the stress level is increasing for me, so much so that I feel foolish at the things I do. Last night I poured myself a glass of juice from the fridge, and after a good time sipping it, I washed the glass, and guess what? I proceeded to "return" the glass to the freaking fridge. -.- Another one. I was walking along the Orchard underpass at CK Tangs, where the row of atms are? Opp the ATMs is this panel of wall with a big advert black-&-white. You know what? There was a lady dressed in orange leaning on the wall (presumably waiting for someone), she had her head tilted to the left, and when I walked past the wall, she moved (turned to look in my direction) and I was taken aback. I got a fright (seriously). I thought she was part of the advert, and I thought I was seeing things. -.- And and...this a good one too. I was at Orchard MRT Station popular book store, and when I wanted to catch 190 home, all I could think of was, the bus stop is located behind Wisma. And the unbelievably smart me took the escalator down the mrt station, out to Wisma, cut through Wisma to 3rd level, exited Wisma and towards the bus stop. For all who aren't sure of the location of the freaking bus stop...it's just outside the MRT station. All I needed to do, was to take the escalator UP and OUT to the bus stop. Unbelievable.

Ok enough. I don't want to go on about it. Anyway I ought to get back to my work. I just wanted to upload these photos taken at Bangkok earlier this year with my two pals, Lyn and Audrey. I'll do some commentary next time if I have the time. Haa. Here goes.

Day 1 - On the plane, arrival at the Surva-dunno-what airport, a sumptuous lunch at Siam Paragon (Jap food, the cheap and a lot quantity one), night shopping at a night market (some General's market or dunno what..can't remb now. heh)

This was at the famous Chatuchak market. The place is seriously so big, we barely completed one block from 9am-9pm. Also the time when we re-wrote a record: Shopping for 12-hour straight with only a 1/2hr lunch break. Nope, no toilet breaks too. Are you up to the challenge of shopping with us? Wahahaha..

Saw this interesting advert at the MBK Shopping Mall...can't remember whether they were advertising bras or breast enhancement services. Click on it to see what "type/shape" your boobs are. Wahaha...

Nothing much...just some shops near the hotel we were staying at. Interesting shops. We shopped through the four days, we didn't even do any body or foot massages. Kinda waste huh.

And yes, that's the room the 3 of us bunked in. Messed up by our shopping wares. We hardly had room to move about. What you see is not what you get. There's more stuff not captured in the picture. Wahaha. We stayed in Novotel Siam Square, a really cool place. Definitely well located (in the heart of everything), comfortable, not too ex! The "innocent" me have nv been on a shopping holiday, so I brought 2 small luggages, which hardly was enough obviously. The other 2 girls were way smarter. They brought huge luggages (those that can bring you on a 12-day tour to Europe type), which was empty when we just reached, and packed full by the time we left. Audrey even had to unzip a special pocket in her luggage to give additional space. Smart girl.

Supposedly one of the better delicacies that's cheap and good. Know what this is? Bird's Nest. But hell no, it looks like erm...something tested in the labs...complete with the blue containers. -.- Tasted bad too. Yucks. After which we learnt, we ought to have bought from the neighbouring stall. ~ bummers

Our last breakfast at the hotel before heading to the airport. Nice food. International buffet breakfast, though the variety is a tad disappointing. Oh well. But I love their waffles. They had all kinds of exotic fruits to go with it (take ur pick), and the fruits were fresh and juicy. Fresh pickings I must say. Nice!

At the airport, while waiting for our flight. We decided to pool our resources together and splash all on a nice treat. The girls were nice...they decided to indulge me...ICE CREAM! Yum!

Sadly...it was back to Singapore. A short four-day trip. Certainly not enough. I dislike going for short trips actually. It's like, before you know it, you have to take the flight back. Bummer rite. Well there were more places we visited..but no time to take pictures. haha..But then again, it was a nice trip, spending bonding time and stuff like that, with the girls. We endeavour to go somewhere again soon (dunno how soon also), and hopefully, the other 3 girls can make it too! Cheers!

好想你

你微笑 不代表你想拥抱
你的拥抱 不代表一切美好
如果说 梦想是一个气泡
至少我能够触摸得到

我眼睛 看不见你的需要
你的耳朵 听不见我的祈祷
如果说 天气都难以预告
爱情的痕迹 往哪里找

我要对你多好 你要爱我多少
有甚麽重要 也许答案得走过天涯海角
最後才知道 听得见你心跳 最重要

你的泪 不代表我的烦恼
我的感动 不代表你的心跳
也难怪 亲吻的时候须要
闭起了眼睛 才有味道

How Nice...

Yes! Finally, the moment I've been waiting for...

I'll be boarding the plane in like another 4hrs, and jetting off in 5hrs time. While majority of the people are riding the mrt. Muahaha...Sounds great doesn't it? It's a well-deserved break ok...though albeit pocket-burning. Heh...

I ought to be sleeping by now...no, I ought to be waking up soon. I rushed home from class, work on the last parts of my articles (work) and I just completed my packing. I'm just so going to look like a panda loh -.- No choice. Small price to pay I guess..sigh.

I pack some readings onto the plane with me. Readings as in school assignment readings, not storybook reading. THough I did bring a copy of TIME magazine with me. I would be real glad if I can catch forty winks on the plane loh...but as it is, it's strange how come I can sleep on the mrt but not plane. *shrug*

Okies..cya back in another 2weeks time...where I'll be depressed to be back..and definitely too depressed to blog. Sigh.

Let's Be Happy...for now

'Nuff of the depressing stuff for awhile. Let's share some happy news. Or at least good stuff to lighten up my stressed mode.

Hmm, countdown to Australia - 3 days! Much as I've been to Aussie land for quite a number of times, I'm still grateful for this break. Who wouldn't appreciate a holiday huh...though of course, erm, timing is a little tight here. More importantly, I'm spending quality time with my dearest. How not to be happy huh *wide grin* Though...I'll have a small price to pay - bringing my school work there to. Yeah I know. *roll eyes*

Well, whatever it is...I'll take the first Qantas flight out on Weds morning, and by evening time same day, I'll touch down at Sydney. I would have wanted to take the last midnite flight out on SQ, right after my class on Tues nite. But well, price is not right. Air tix costs some 300+ more at least. Oh well. I'll hang around Sydney on Thurs; we'll pick up the car on Thurs morning, and Friday we'll set off for Gold Coast. We'll be staying in Gold Coast till the subsequent Weds, and drive back to Sydney, and spend the rest of the days there till I fly back to Singapore on Sunday. It's my one week vacation, that's why I've got no classes. One and a half weeks of bliss. =D

I bought my airtix online, settled my visa, changed my currency...what's left is to pack my bag now. But before that, I would need to come up with a list of the stuff to bring. I can already foresee myself frantically doing my packing on Tues nite till the wee hours of the morning. Sigh.

But when I come back to spore, it'll be hell. I would have one assignment and one research presentation due. Sigh. So Sao Xing rite =\

Talking about projects...introducing one of my modules' group members!

Jac and myself, well we know each other through work already (she's my client). I'm glad to have her with me in the course. She motivates and pushes the lazy me. haha

Well, we were supposed to form a group of four, and the two "anti-social" girls found this pair of guys who didn't have any other members to form a group with too. They "miao-ed" us while we were unsure if they were "available" still. In any case, we formed a group, and soon hit it off. It's kinda like, we "wu suo bu tan" now *grin* It's a nice bunch of friends, really. No competitiveness, no jealousy, no rivalry. We were giving and ready to lend a helping hand whenever needed. I'm glad and fortunate that my first group members in NTU are this wacky and fun bunch. *wide grin*

Oh I snatched the photo from Ben's blog. Wahaha. He even bothered to name us. Haa. He even wrote an entry about us. How honoured. Heh. Read his entry here, entitled "in a himbo mode". We were having a group discussion in Bugis National Library Children's Section (now termed Kiddy Land, no thanks to Ben too..Haha), and he suddenly stood up and snapped a photo. Only Eugene looked at him. I was well...shy. Hee.

My turn to do an introduction on my group members. If you found Eugene familiar, that's course he's the host for the current affairs programme on channel 8 "Frontline" aka qian xian zhui zong. Ming ren ye...hahaha. Ben works at Republic Poly, Corp Comms. An engineer by training, he started with RP's HR actually. Interesting mix eh. Jac...dun need say liao lah. Hahaha..me and you so shou liao hoh =)

Alrite..will keep it short here. More next time then. Though I dunno how long the next entry will take me to pen. Haa. Ciao.

School Vs Work

It's been eons since I've last updated an entry. Well I'm really pressed for time now. Everyday seemed to go by in a whiz, I no longer know what's happening. A simple school changed my life. For the better or worse, I'm not sure, seriously. I would want it to be better of coz. I have no time for entertainment; and whatever time I have is split between work and school.

I'm stressed out by work and school at the same time. It's like, I try to put in my best for both, but it's never gd enough. Twice a week I leave work early to go for classes. I thought by making up for lost time to my boss, I thought by working doubly or thrice harder, making sure my work doesn't suffer, my boss will be alright about my attending school. And well, ought she not understand, since she herself is taking a course too? Because the last thing I want is for my boss to think that schooling has resulted in a drop in performance. So, in fact, I thought I did it. I completed my work, and even ahead of time; my projects went smoothly...I was pleased with my performance in fact. Proud of myself. The only difference is that for twice a week, I could no longer stay back late like I used to. But that probably was what caused my boss to be unhappy. Despite all the good work I've done, all it took was just one more extra day of class to cause her to lapse into an impatient mood with me. For freaking sake, it's just one additional day this week loh, not a permanent feature. Lesson number 2: learn to manage your boss.

I've ever asked myself this question: did I make a wrong move? I did some soul-searching, and I got my answer. I don't regret signing up for the Masters. I always tell myself, there are plenty who have worked and studied at the same time. No reason why I cannot do it. I know I can do it. But I've learnt something though. Balancing - Putting in the effort in your studies (ie. conscientiously revising, doing homewk, etc) and continue to give your best at work, aint enuff. The equation needs another variable - your boss/organisation's understanding and accomodation. Perhaps that isn't a variable, it would be more appropriate to call it a constant factor. The variable factor is work load.

Having a job like mine, which keeps irregular hours and work carries over beyond the regular 9 to 6 hours - covering events on week nites and week ends, pressing deadlines which demand your attention to complete it (meaning OT or bringing home to do)...truly leaves no time for school and revision.

Understanding from your superior...That is a hurting lesson I picked up. I was giving, and expected appreciation, waited for understanding. I was too eager to please her, wanting to make sure that my work quality and quantity doesn't suffer...that I left myself with no time to do my assignments, to do my revision. In spite of all that I've done, she was never really pleased.

Like the analogy that Moses gave: I used to give 150%, but now with school, I could only give 120%. She doesn't see the fact that I'm giving her 120%, which is more than fulfilling my responsibilities. She only sees the fact that there is a 30% decrease. But, according to Moses, I shouldn't let that bother me; I shouldn't worry if she's upset with me or not, so long as I fulfil my obligations. But I'm not that sort of person. I care alot about how others see me, and I am uncomfortable knowing that someone is unhappy with me, much lest my boss.

I am disappointed with her reaction, really I am. These four years, we have been more than just boss-subordinate. We were friends. I could confide in her personal problems or struggles at times. Our relationship has transgressed beyond office ties, and that was what kept me here all along (plus great colleagues of course). But this incident also sort of made me realise how fragile relations can be. All it takes is one simple incident to change things. We are still cordial and jovial towards each other, but I do perceived a certain level of terse and tense environment in office.

And with the problems caused at work by that new girl (that's story for another time), I truly felt the strain of unhappy work life and unsatisfactory learning. I felt I wasn't doing my best at either. Kinda like Jack of all trades, Master of none. Time was a crucial factor lacking severely in my case. And that led me to explore other options.

My initial intention was to finish up my first year while working at the same time, and when second year (Aug 08) starts, I will do full-time studying (& perhaps part time/temp job), and complete my Masters in the second year (May 09). One of the options I explored was naturally, bringing forward my plans. If I go into full time by first year second semester (Jan 08), I can actually finish up approximately in 1.5years time (Dec 08). Sounds appealing doesn't it. Some other options includes changing a job. But after some consideration, staying in this industry may be impossible, because of the hours necessary to sustain the work load. I'm sad but I have to accept the fact that I will probably have 1-2years time lag of not being in this industry. Anyways, I've got to go think about what other jobs I can do. That I haven't really thought about. Changing to a job with fixed office hours will undeniably give me more time now. Question is, is it sufficient? Anyways, that's somethign we won't know till I'm in it. Other options will include doing a part time job or studyign full time and giving tuition or something...kinda like what I used to be doing when I was pursuin my degree in NUS. But I was too caught up in that, that it become somewhat an undesirable outcome. Anyways, like I said, I've got to go think about it more. Because it seems, no matter what, something's gotta give in any of the situations. Time or Money; not Time and Money.

Whatever the case is, time is definitely a luxury I want now. I can only go out once a week, which is really sad. Other days are spent OT-ing, or doing projects and assignments..especially the weekend. Sigh. Wish me luck in finding an answer.

Perhaps it's time to say goodbye.

Looooong Break, Short Update

Sorry for the long hiatus..it's mid-Aug now, and this is only my first entry of the month. I've been neglecting this blog for quite awhile :( I'm such a slacker. Heh..

Well I would have loved to blog often, but there have been many distractions keeping me away. Before I go on further, I must forewarn you of the incoherent me. I'm a little tired by this time these days. Alritey, I've been minding my own business of course, but sometimes, things just happen around you and you can't very well stay out of its way right, if you know what I mean.

Hmm coming to think of it, I could very well come up with a ranking or something, to sort of list the top happenings around me now. Yep let's do that. Yah I know how uninteresting my life can be, that you may even be wondering why I even bother doing a ranking. Though my "ranking" will be a short list. Heh. Don't care.

1. Isabel has quit her job

Well things between her and boss and Eve aren't exactly pleasant now. They seemed like they have turned loggerheads now. To summarise, Boss feels that Isa hasn't been putting in sufficient effort, while Isa feels that boss hasn't been understanding enough. A matter of perspectives I guess, but who am I to say anything. The last thing I want is for the team to split, but if it has come to this point, then the least I hope for, is an amicable split, which well..by the looks of it, isn't really going to happen. On surface, things are cordial...but too unnaturally cordial. There are a lot of underlying tensions, and Eve certainly isn't helping much at times when she fans the fire or adds oil. Sigh. Interviews are ongoing for the next junior, but well, it's either that Boss doesn't seem to have the sense of urgency about it, or that there aren't enough good applicants. Whatever it is, Sophia is feeling the heat and stress.

2. My bro's ROM

1 December 2007 will be the date. Last month was actually a turbulent/traumatising time for him and the family. The gf actually asked for a break, and said that there was a third party. Understandably, my bro was upset about it. Anyways, to cut the long story short, they were back together three days later. She said that she was "only testing him". -.- Sigh. How true? I dunno. Should I believe? I also dunno. My bro he does, wholeheartedly. My sis, myself, my parents...we don't know how/what to make out of the mess. Then he purportedly got very 'on' about ROM-ing, wanting to fix a date and stuff like that. To be fair, well, they had been trying to ballot for a HDB Q number, and they did talk about ROM since last year alredy. It's just that this scare has gotten him on his toes, all-ready to act on it now. Well...being my bro, of coz I wish him the best, hope for the best. Just that my sis n myself dunno how to face the gf still.

My bro asked me to be his MC cum photographer on his ROM day (Comes with my job). Heh...Well I told him I don't mind doing it of course, if I were in Spore that is. You see, NTU's exams will be held in November, and is scheduled to end by 1 Dec. My intention is to fly out to Cairns once my papers are over, and this may stretch beyond 1 Dec. Esp say, my last paper is on 25Nov or something. But because I don't have my confirmed exam dates as yet, so I can't say yes or no to him too. Oh well...we'll see. If I can help it, I won't want to miss it too. But hmm...I missed my 2nd sis' ROM...coz I was having lessons on that day (uni that time). Haa.

3. School Starts!

Yep, school has started. I've been attending classes for the last 3 weeks le. The stress and pressure of co-handling school and work is no joke. I've got so much readings to complete for just two miserly modules loh. Doesn't sound alot, but coupled with a day job...you know what I mean. Day in, day out, school assignments, projects and term papers are always on my mind, and they are driving me crazy soon. The fear of not knowing what/how to do, the anxiety of not doing a good job...Haiz. Like Tricia said, sometimes I wonder what I've got myself into..haha..but well, I'm NOT regretting, and I'm certainly not about to make myself go there. I know this is what I want for myself; I hope I will stop being lazy. Haa...And you know what that means...I haven't been shopping, my life is down to a rather low-low. Sigh. I'm not a happy girl now. Haha..

Aiyoh k lah, I shall stop this for now..This short post has actually took me so many days to compose; writing a little and saving each bit everyday. Finally it gets to see the light of the day -.- Yeah I'm lazy...Correction, I'm busy *grin*

So how do you measure up?

Go try this silly test. Haha...

why people WANT TO get drunk

1) They are having fun

2) They want to throw up

3) They want to disgust those around them

4) They want to waste money buying the drinks, downing them, then throwing them up

5) They think it's cool to be wasted

6) It's great to make a mess of yourself!

7) They think little/nothing of making those around them upset

8) It's fun making those who care, worried

9) An excuse to not know what's going on...not even when they hug the girls next to them repeatedly

10) Best of all? They just want to be drunk

New Year's Eve Party Photos

Gonna do a short post here today. Managed to put together a quick montage of shots, and these were taken...erm, heh.. abit paiseh to say even...earlier this year, during the new year's eve party...wahahaha! Yah I know what a slacker I am. Alright here goes:

确定，你就是我的唯一

Wandering like a leaf upon the wind

I have been searching for someone

Holding out for a love to shake my soul

Heaven or nothing

Then you walked into my life

In a blaze of light

I've never wanted someone more

You are the one I've waited for

Light of my life

You're the fire in my heart

When I'm lost

I know I'll feel you burning in the dark

You're the light of my life

Every star in the sky

Shines more brightly when you're at my side

And dreaming, I feel you next to me

But no, I'm not dreaming

Cause I'm drowning in your kiss

I die in your arms

And when I hear you call my name

Baby, it's like I'm born again

Your love's a lantern in the rain

Bringing me home time and again

Burning like an eternal flame

Light of my life

You're the beat of my heart

Like stars in the sky

Only you can take me through

You're the only one who makes it right

Coz only you can set fire to my night

You - the light of my life

Waiting for Time to Pass

Hmm..dunno why, just suddenly have the urge to do an entry now. Kinda strange, coz I'm like at work now loh. Haha. Guess maybe it's coz the day is draggy and long, taking forever to end. -.- After some loooong wait, finally it's 5.15pm now. Today is one of those days when you look at the clock, it's 3pm; you do a whole load of things, take another look at the clock, it's 3.10pm. -.-''

I was in a pissed mood just now...and aggravated by the fact that some frens just chose the right moment to step on my toes. Eg, Adrian. He super one kind...Ok, he started out of concern, no doubt. He msned me, asking me how's my day, and my reply was "busy, draggy, can't wait for it to end..so not very good mood". And you know what that idiot (yes Adrian you are an idiot) had to say? "Why? Period coming?" Can someone, anyone, please enlighten me why issit that guys have to assume it's our menses causing hormonal inbalance, and thereby wrecking havoc in our moods? Ok fine, granted, that is a scientific-fact, I'm not arguing against that. What I have a grouse with is, why do you have to assume that as the cause of the first inkling of trouble?

I mean, when guys fly into a non-explicable rage, nobody goes "Why? Hormonal inbalance?" or "Raging hormones? Didn't get what you want?" -.- I know, that sounds kinda crude. But crap. That's what I mean loh. I'm not trying to suggest anything feministic here...but doesn't it sound kinda discriminatory or smthg? I dunno..I can't put a finger on it..just doesn't feel good abt it. Felt kinda mis-understood or misplaced. Sigh. Anyways. Adrian u pig.

Hmm...let's see, some good news =) Our dear Isabel may very well soon be on her way to snaggin her new guy loh. Hee. This fellow is her friend whom she's known for a long time. Kinda like my situation. =) They've known each other for coming to 10 years (me and J coming to 11 yrs..hee). I'm happy for her. I believe (just as she does) that she will be happier with this guy. We have our reasons, and we happen to concur =) Oh he happens to be a J too. Heh. Well, give them a couple of months, they'll probably get hitched (bf-gf) very soon. Who knows, we may even go shopping for V-day prezzie together next year =D Wishing her the best. =) She'll be graduating from her school soon..Means once school's out, she'll revert back to her normal work hours..and lunch sessions with her will resume soon *grin*

Argh! Look! Look! This is what I mean loh...in the midst of my doing work and blogging, albeit short entry...it's only 5.40pm now!! Time absolutely craaaaaawwwwls!!! I hate today. I hate now.

Tomorrow!

And thus marks my fourth entry for this month. How pathetic. Oh well. Can't say much, except no time, no mood. Think after this entry, the nx one will come like at least one or two weeks later.

I'm not in much bitching mood lately. Heh..that's not to say I do all bitching entries only ok. My bro left for HK with his gf this morning, holiday loh...so good loh. Hmpt...my last 4-day break was in Apr...*sulk* But hey! *big smiles* My dear is coming back tomoro from the States! Yayy! Can't wait. But well...as I've said previously, it will be a short-lived one week before he goes back to Sydney for his last term. No, six days, to be precise. I ought to be appreciative that it's gonna be the last half year now. But still, you know five/six months are still hard to get over. I'm praying hard that nothing will thwart my Sept plans to go over. With that Sept break, it can at least break the monotony of having to wait the whole half-year before we meet. At least it's a two-month wait first, then another three-month or so. Sigh. I'm so worried there would be assignments or projects. Actually, there's bound to be! So what then?! Argh...I'm not gonna think about that yet. Hmpt. Dun wanna spoil his homecoming first. We'll deal with that when we come to it.


I didn't know his flight was scheduled to touch down at midday. He said "afternoon", and I thought it was like 4 or 5 in the afternoon, to say the least. So I thought, ok, 4 or 5, he'll reach home abt 6, let him unpack and stuff, I'll be able to meet him after work for dinner or smthg. Perfect! But nooo...sigh. Now I'm kinda wishing I had taken half-day tomr! He's scheduled to touch down like 11+, so I presumed he'll be home by 12+, 1. And if I were on half day, I will knock off at 1, which then is just perfect arrangement. =( Now I've gotta spend the remaining hrs at work. Oh well...I guess it's good that he'll go home and unpack and catch a nap or smthg before I meet him in the evening loh. Normally things would be rather chaotic once you come back from overseas rite. I'm trying to convince myself that it's better I stay out of the warzone first.


Well, I've applied for leave on Thurs and Fri, so that I can spend more time with him before he goes back. THis month somehow just zooms by. Initially I wanted to apply Tues too. Actually, I'm kinda kicking myself now that I didn't apply for Tues in the beginning. Now may just be too late. I was desperately trying to clear my work last week, knowing that I'll b on leave this week, and was hoping that I can throw in the Tues as well...but that was real hard. Now, leave on Tues seems more and more out-of-reach. ='(


Oh, I went to cover an event on Fri nite, and it was erm, funny...interesting to say the least. Well, it was interesting to find myself the subject of the videographer's & photographer's target...Hee. I was there to cover the event as a rep from the newsletter section, and they had actually engaged another videographer and photographer too. Perhaps they were too bored, I dunno. But it's kinda funny when the photographer tried to steal shots in the midst of shooting the Minister. It was flattering, I must say. Haha...Ok, I don't think he's hao-se lah...Probably just cheeky, for the fun of it. Although there were definitely chee-ko-peks there at the event. Hmpt. Tried to get fresh, omg. Yuck. Act blur and walk away is the best lesson I've learnt since my three years in this line. But I'd say, time to learn and store new tricks man.


I've been actively feeding non-stop on this gummy "Starburst". Sophia describes it as the most yummilicious gummies on earth. Somehow, the chewiness is just nice. Sweet yes, but strangely addictive. Even my boss, who doesn't have a penchant for sweet stuff, couldn't keep her hands off it. Heh. Her famous words: Get this thing away from me! Hahaha...It's available in Spore. I saw it selling at Taka, but super ex man, like more than half the price it was being sold in Australia. My dear J brought it back for me =D


I've recently ported my online photos from yahoo over to flickr. As we all know, yahoo really is gonna shut their photos portal. Anyways, I've yet to update the links by the side panel. Not to mention the tonnes of photos I've yet to upload online too. kwah-kwah. When I have time and when I remb. Heh.


Ok, gonna put some pics up today. First set:





These were taken at East Coast last Weds. My office peeps are really nice. The previous week, when my Mr J had just barely left, Moses suggested going to do something to help cure me of my lovesickness. Haha..Sophia suggested cycling, and I was all for it! =) Isabel had to work late, so she didn't join us. But still, we had loads of fun. =) Tricia and myself are just sooo photo-people. Hee. Anything, anywhere, you can bet we'll whip our camera out and just shoot. Hee. 1stly, that's why we buy cameras! 2ndly, photos are great keepsakes ok. We went for dinner after that. Not sure if the food is really great or that we were really famished by then, but we could hardly wait to devour the food when it arrived. Digressing, I seem to have turned into this huge gluttony growing child. No amount of food seem sufficient. Sigh. On top of the bad news, I had become lazy at my runs too. Argh! Sign of depression? Sigh...

Ok, here's the next batch of photos.

A mini birthday celebration for me, in office, by my office peeps. Btw, I didn't commision these photos. Our dear Tricia just went trigger-happy. Haha...I do appreciate that though. Great keepsakes =)

Sat Nite @ Zouk

I haven't had such fun in a long time =) So does that mean I have a boring life, or boring frens? *ponders* Coz the last time I went St James was rather boring. Pauline and I agreed that it must have been the crowd we went with. The music's good at Zouk, I must add. Citibank card got me in for free, the guys bought the drinks. Haha..

Pauline asked me out to zouk last night; was organised by Jocelyn. Apart from her and Jocelyn, I didn't know who else was going or how big the group would be. But well, when it comes to Jocelyn, we can always trust her to jio her different grps of frens together. But me n my big mouth - I didn't know that she had broken up wf her bf recently, and well...u know, I shoot my mouth off. Haiz. Of coz she didn't blame me =) But well, I still felt bad. Then again, with the hoards of guys swarming around her..haha. Let's just say she has no lack of suitors. *grin*

Seems that the bunch was pretty much acquainted actually, initially I kinda felt a little odd. But well, it soon passed and we were rather acquainted after a while. Sua ku as I am, I learnt to play the fav guessing game that seemed to be many ppl's alcohol companion. As usual I couldn't drink much lest the allergy monster attacks...so I got a fren to drink for me if I lost. =p Well, he gallantly offered and I did thank him. Haha.

Coincidentally, Adrian was supposed to meet his friends at Zouk too, and while my frens have all reached, his hadn't, so he joined me and my friends first. Albeit paiseh to say, that was my first time at Zouk in my 26 yrs. What? I'm a guai guai girl ok. Heh. Anyways, everyone drank, played their stuff, talked, then decided to hit the dance floor. And fyi, I can't dance for nuts. I've got two left feet. So I felt kinda awkward being there too. Esp when the gang got high, and started dancing. I mean, really dancing. But they don't want to leave me at the table alone, so...yeah.

Anyways, I was just swaying and stuff, then this guy came along and asked if he could know me. I was a little surprised, coz from what I could tell, this chap is young, definitely younger than I am. I found out that he was serving his NS, is 20 this year. And interestingly, he thot I was still studying. Haha...I look THAT young huh? *Ahem* heh...

It definitely turned out to be an interesting nite. I mean, to begin with, I wasn't THAT keen to go, knowing that I probably wouldn't know more than half the peeps in the group, but well, I thot anything beats mopping at home. And the next thing I know when I'm there, I have guys vying for my attention. THree, may I add. Heh. It is flattering, I must say.

But one of them...well he's kinda irritating. He tried to take advantage of me, touching my face on the pretext of "feeling how flushed he is". Initially, I thot he was being friendly, when I saw him touching my other frens. I siam, but one time I couldn't siam fast enuff. Yeah, he did it more than one time loh. He touched my cheek, and I got really pissed. I told him off, not fierce, but definitely not polite. I made it clear to him not to touch me again. He tried to laugh it off as an innocent thing, but I tink the look on my face must hv said quite a fair bit. He didn't try to do anythign subsequently. Initially he tried to come close while we were on the dance floor, but thank god for Pauline and Jocelyn and Adrian - I used them as shields. Heh.

Another one, I'm smart enough to know that he was interested. Ha..so I siamed him. I just acted blur, moving out of his way "unknowingly" whenever he tries to come by...talking to Pauline and Jocelyn whenever he tries to strike a conversation. True enough, Pauline told me later that the reason why she intro-ed us was coz he told her he wanted to know me.

But well...I didn't go out of boundary. I do remember the ring resting on my fourth finger, I do know that my heart has no room for others =)

I like...

I just love ice-cream. That is one very big weakness I have. No, I oughta call it a soft spot, not weakness =)

I'm actually someone with a small appetite for food. A habit since school days I guess. I skip meals, I have late lunches, staff like that. Of course, I'm definitely eating more than I used to. But that's not the point. Ok, let's put it this way, some people have a penchant for good food (classy and all). Me, I would rather spend my last dollar on shopping =D When I go shopping, whether with frens or sister, I can give up on food and simply shop till I drop. Haha. Remember my mean feat when I shopped at Bangkok earlier this year with my frens? We spent more than 15hrs shopping at Chatuchak Market, of which there was only a half to 45min lunch break at best. Good eh...hee.

Ok I've digressed. Back to my beloved ice-cream. Just like fruits, there's no ice-cream I don't eat. Cheap ones, good quality ones, I love them all. Ok, there's one kind of ice-cream I don't like. I don't know how to describe it, but the texture is creamy like milk powder, yet the ice-cream is not cold. Kinda feels like you are EATING cream. Yuck. Disgusting. But other than that...give me the ice-cream!

And I was sayin that I have a small appetite for food, for proper meals, but I have a huge appetite for ice-cream. Insatiable, I should add. =p I'd stop eating my food once I'm full, but that doesn't apply for ice-cream. Those around me who knows me will also know my fav saying: I have two stomachs (like how a cow has four) - one for food, one for ice-cream. So I'm always, always game for ice-cream. Yum! Think I got my sweet tooth from my dad. He loves ice-cream too. Something that didn't show (& therefore I didn't know then) until sometime last year. He would buy boxes of ice-cream cones, popsicles, and most of the time, it would be him or me downing them. Between the two of us, we can go through like 2-3boxes each week. Haha...But well, he's cut down since. Alot actually. He's concerned about taking too much sweet stuff of coz, so no choice. I'm thankful I don't have to cut down. Not for now at least. THough I definitely have to watch my weight and do exercise. Can't imagine how I would be like going on stuffing myself wf ice-cream. This week, I did ice-cream three times already. I just had one. Haha

It used to be candy when I was younger and studying. I have such a sweet tooth that I like anything sweet. And things that people find sweet is fine with me. Actually that is still the case. Haha. I still love candy, but I've learnt to wean myself off them a little more. Coz I'd rather give in to my ice-cream craving than candy craving. That's something I'm still not prepared to give up..yet. I used to down sweets like water. Say for example, a tube of mentos in 10min. Scary huh. My sugar contents must have been horrendous. Heh. I still like sweet stuff, but I do try to curb the sweet stuff as far as I can. FOr instance, these days when I drink tea, I don't add sugar. I drink it as it is with the tea bag. Initially I found it bland and tasteless. But after a week of "training", I think I got my palate a little more back to normal. =) It's a good thing of coz. Heh.

Hmm...I dunno how this topic came about too. Perhaps I was too bored and I just had one huge dullop of cookies and cream ice-cream. Heavenly! But well..that was the end of it, coz the ice-cream was finished. I think I was responsible for the whole 1litre tub (over time of coz). But you know, I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem for me to finish one tub in one setting. Haha.

Hmm...I ought to check out for any ice-cream buffet or ice-cream eating competition huh. hee. Now I'm feeling sleepy. After-effects of the ice-cream I think. Hee. Yawns.

School's In...soon

It's mighty fast, we are 12 days into July. Very soon it'll be mid-month. Half the month whizzed by just like that.

I haven't blogged a single entry this month, till now. Been busy...accompanying my Mr J of course, what else. He'll only be in Spore for the first and last week of July, and the middle two weeks he'll be in the States. Yep, he's in the States now, so that explains why I'm able to spare the time to do a blog entry. Duhh.

Once he comes back from the States, it means it's time for him to return to Sydney too. Which was why I said I was in a kind of dilemma - do I want him back to Spore sooner or not? Not that I have a choice of course. It's just that on one hand, I wish that time would just blink by, so that he'll be back in Spore. But that would mean, yes, he's going back to Sydney too. I guess there'll never be a win-win. Sigh.

Yep, and when he goes back, it means I'm going to start my classes too. My school term starts 6 Aug officially. I'm hoping to sign up for modules that will fall on Mons and Weds if I get my way. Yesh, I still dunno yet, coz our dear NTU hasn't even posted nor emailed anything with regards to module sign-up. Am I too kan cheong or are they too cool about? But yeah, as I've mentioned before, Jac and I are going to be coursesmates, though we may not be doing the same modules. Well, I sure hope there'll b overlapping of course.

I haven't decided for sure whether to do a dissertation or just finished it up with doing all modules. I'm more inclined towards the latter actually. The dissertation idea certainly does not appeal to me (not that much anyway), and besides, I'm a little clueless what kinda dissertation topic I can do. Well I don't have to decide now, just that by Yr 2, I would need to give a formal reply. Arghh.

Whatever it is, I hope I won't screw up my studies this time. Time management is a big issue for me. Has always been. I get distracted and bored easily, and I devote too little time to my studies. Lazy about revisions, about tutorials. What's more, this time I'm working, which is worse. Homework, assignments, work, clients.......*Nightmare* Once is enough to scare me; I hope I won't do stuff like screw up again. And hopefully my boss will be kinder to me, in terms of workload. And because I haven't confirmed which days I'm going for classes, I can't work out a work/time schedule for my boss too. Urgh...We'll have to wait and see then.

Alritey, it's been a busy week. Isabel isn't around this entire week, and I'm covering her work while doing mine. THough half the time, I'm procrastinating about mine. I'm feeling sleepy, need to catch up on my beauty zz then. *Yawns*

Registration Day

I went on half day today, coz today is my registration day at NTU. First and foremost, it was a rather queer sensation, to leave office at half day. It's been such a long time since I went on leave, especially a half day leave. My last leave was in...April? When I went on cruise with my parents. Actually not that long ago, but it certainly felt like ages ago. Heh. Yeah, I'm lazzzy...

Anyways, I had lunch first with the office girls before I went on my way, embarking on the long and arduous journey all the way to the lonesome hill top, which is to become so agonisingly familiar in time to come. Registration was slated to end at 4pm, and I reached NTU grounds approx 315pm. Ok, not terribly early, but should still have ample time right? WRONG lor...

Ok, I was supposed to drop by the Students Services Centre (SSC) to make payment for some administrative fees before proceeding to another building for registration. Armed with a blurry map, I made my way towards what seemed the correct direction, and all was well initially. And then I lost track of the SSC. It was like, so near yet so far. I knew it was in the vicinity of where I was standing, and I would have continued to trudge ahead to what I thought was the SSC. Until this other girl who was supposed to do registration too (she had the same blur pink map) told me that she came from the other direction and the building wasn't where she came from. Pengz.

I walked left, right; tried to look for signs to point me in the right direction at least, to no avail. And it didn't help that this god-forsaken place was a mass of buildings with no labels. I mean, in the map, they labelled this and that building as this and that, but when I saw the physical place, they either don't label the building (no big signs on top), or the signs were hidden at some obscure side panel, blocked by luscious trees! *roll eyes* Of course, I asked some kind souls, and they pointed me in the direction. Guess what? The SSC building sits atop one of the hill top. Literally, I tell u; no kidding. *faint*

That long flight of steps that stretched forever. I tell you, if not for the fact that I run, I think I may just have panted and paused half way up. Anyways, by the time I reached the finance office, it was 350. And I was positively drenched in perspiration. Yuck. And not the prettiest sight, I know. I was stricken with panic to my bones, coz I seriously didn't know what would happen if registration was over and I didn't do mine. 27 was the one and only day allocated to do it. And best of all, I just had to be queuing behind this typical complainy Singaporean.

It was obvious he was in a foul mood, perspiring and in a huff. He began ranting and raving at the person-in-charge, who was preparing for his payment and stuff. He raised a ruckus, complaining that NTU was inflexible, that he had Q-ed for an hour over at the registration place, only to "find out" that he had to make payment first before going to register, peppering his whiny complaints with the occasional foul word like "...you guys are sibeh inflexible...why can't we just do registration then I come and do payment lah...what's wrong with it...etc etc" (excuse my language; I was just repeating what he said).

Hello, "what's wrong"? Yeah, what's right is that you, Mr Whiny, are wrong. What's wrong is that you failed to read instructions. It was written clearly in the letter that you have to make payment FIRST before proceeding for registration. It's not that fault that you didn't read instructions and made such a big boo-boo and caused such inconvenience to yourself. NTU's fault was accepting a graduate student like you into their programme, one who doesn't read instructions, and probably didn't deserve a spot in their programmes. What's more, after I had made my payment and went to the registration place, they had in fact, put up a notice outside, reminding students to make payment FIRST.

What's obvious is that dear Mr Whiny is either blind (didn't see the multiple reminders), poor comprehension (didn't understand what he was reading) or pompous (thinks he is exclusive and can get away without making payment first and hoping to do registeration). Mind you, Mr Whiny is a well-dressed Shenton-way executive ok, with shirt-pants-tie and the works. Probably in his mid-thirties. Can you blame Singapore girls for being demanding about the quality of Singapore men? Anyways, I told Jac I hope he isn't our classmate. Haha.

But well, through his ranting, I knew that there was a long Q ahead, so it wouldn't be possible that the registration will end at 4pm. Heh...that kinda made me feel a little better, a little mroe assured that I still can make it. Hee. I made payment and proceeded to the registration place, and I still managed to make it before 4. Not bad. =) Everything happens for a reason. I guess I ought to learn not to jump into a frenzy so soon, since everything is in his control. =) I mean, if I had reached earlier, I would have to wait anyway. Oh well...I guess it all ended well.

By the time I made my way home, it was nearing 6pm...not much of a half-day off right. Initially I thought I would have some time leftover to perhaps do some shopping or whatever, so as to make my half-day leave more worthwhile. But sigh. I was bushed when I got home; I went to nap for awhile, and woke up like 7+ then went for a short run.

Pauline actually asked me if I wanted to join her at Dbl O with her frens. She's on "vacation"...having just left her teaching job. Though I'm not sure if I'm envious of her or not. Heh. Oh well.

P/S - Countdown: Another 3 more days and my Mr J will be back *grin*

The Last Lap to 1 July

I have this little rubber duckie that actually doubles up as a calendar. It has this little display section where I have to manually turn cubes of numbers everyday, to show the correct day and date. Kinda like winding a clock, except that I'm "winding" a calendar. And I just can't wait to wind it. I just can't wait for the days to turn faster, that I may just keep turning the days and dates till the 1 July. Sigh.

Yeah I know, it's the final week before the big day. But as I've said, the time just can't pass fast enough. And as we enter this "final" lap before the 1st, it's gonna be the hardest week to pass, ever. I just know it.

The pain of separation is the hardest to bear. Especially more so for a super-emo person like myself. It's not that I'm not grateful that he's coming back, albeit a short 2 weeks. Well he would be back for 4 weeks, but he'll be in Singapore only for first and last week. I know it will kill me when he flies off to the States during the 2nd week, especially when I'm just gonna spend a short 1 week with him before he goes off again. And after he comes back from the States 2 weeks later, he'll only have one last week here in Singapore before he goes back to Sydney.

THough he'll be back for a short four weeks, sorry, I mean two, it's gonna be a tightly-packed two weeks. There are days when we have already planned stuff, but overall, we haven't exactly planned a day-to-day itinerary of course, but we just know it's gonna be lotsa time spent together. *dreamy* I've actually applied for leave le...Hmm, coming to think of it, it's only 3 days. Maybe I ought to see if I can squeeze in more days. But anyways, you know what's the hateful thing? Time is just going to whizzed by during these first and last week, and crawl during the middle two weeks while he's away. -.- Well we all know how time crawls when you can't wait for it to pass (like now), and how uncooperative it is when you simply wished the whole world will come to a total standstill (time passes even faster). Don't we all know that already huh.

I know I will surely weep buckets when he has to fly back at the end of July. Gosh. I hate separations. I hate saying goodbyes, even for the short term. It's kinda like a short long-term, you know.

Looking ahead, it's another six months before he comes back for good. And the thought of that is frightening. But we told ourselves that we are just going to shift our focus on what's coming up in front of us, what's going to come up next for us. And take things as they come, welcoming each thing as they happen. Rather than thinking far till the end of the year, wishing that eveyrthing will be over faster. I mean, sure we do wish for that, but it's harder looking so far ahead now right?

So, to aid us, we've more or less have this 2nd half of 2007 mapped out. He'll fly back to Sydney at the end of July. Then it'll be two months of school for both of us, and I'll fly there for a short break in Sept. Then it's going to be a tough 3 months before he finishes his exams and graduates; and I'll probably fly there again in Dec and we'll do a short tour around before we come back to Singapore togther at the end of the year, him, for good. *smiles*

Short long-term - short because well, six months aren't exactly that bad, and considering we'll be seeing each other in between. We purposely planned it this way so that we won't have to go too long without seeing each other *grin* Well, and long term because, six months aren't exactly short too. Another six months without each other. Though perhaps, this later half of 2007 will be busier for me, and will keep me from letting my thoughts run wild. I had actually planned to fly there last week, to be with him while he tackles his exams. But well...work didn't allow me that luxury, so...SIGH

Coming to think of it, by the time he comes back, we would have not seen each other for four months. It's been a really tough four months. I hope there won't ever need be another such four months. Going as planned, like I'd said, the next foreseeable longest stretch would be that last three months at the end of the year. But undeniably, absence does make the heart grows fonder. I guess in a way, precisely coz it's been such a long and painful stretch...everything will be so much more worthwhile. As they say, good things don't come easy =) And honestly, I'm so looking forward to everything that's coming up this next half year...in fact, everything that will happen for us from now on.

AND...today is the last Monday before he gets back to Singapore. *Wide grin* I know it will be a really tough going this week...but I've just gotta hang in there...I've waited four months, what's another one more week right? Yeah...before I know it, it will be Sunday. Sunday afternoon...it'll all pass. IT WILL ALL PASS! *Grit teeth* Grrrrr....

PUH-LEEASE make the time spin faster?

Time positively crawwwwls... *yawn*

What does it take for time to pass faster?! Day in, day out, I swear the hours and minutes just enjoy torturing me! For the first time, I'm so busy, yet the time ticks! What is this?!

Ok, sorry that I'm yelling. I just can't wait. Sigh. Countdown - another 11 days. Or how about you knocking me out cold for the next 11 days, and someone please wake me up on 1 July? *ponders* I think that's a mighty good suggestion.

ELEVEN freaking days!! Goshhhh.........Is there anyone I can bribe for this?

Wedding...

Another batch of photos to put up. These were taken at Michael's wedding. Michael was one of the other boss at our old office, a real Mr Nice-Guy through and through. Not to add, smart too; a straight-A student, just as Mr Moses was. I remember one of the stories he told us before, when he was a student still. His parents never had to worry about him being too playful or not wanting to study. Correction, they had to worry that he was studying too much -.- Anyways, when he was studying for his O-levels (or was it A-Levels)...he tied himself to the chair while he was studying, to make sure he doesn't get distracted by the TV or stuff like that. Goodness me right...Hee...Well see, that's the difference between straight-A (like him) and mediocre students (yours truly) -.-

Michael and his bride, Meishan, had their matrimony in the daytime at the Art Museum. A sweet affair. They played a well-made video (by one of their church's IT guy) of all the happenings. Impressive. The dinner was full house, packed to the brim. Nothing fanciful, but a personal affair. But well, as you can see, we had our own little fun after it was all over. Haa...

As Moses put it, nice weddings like these does make you go aww...and puts that thought in you, about how romantic you want yours to be. The gown you want to wear, the songs you want to use, your family and friends witnessing your biggest moment in your life with you...Oh well, I ought to stop it *grin*

Some "trivia"...

Some pictures to put up. Just one of the outings that took place recently. I nearly forgot to put these photos up until I happened to open up one of my infrequently-used thumbdrvs.

Marche, Vivocity

(Bottom left pic; L-R: Lena, Tricia, Lily, Charis, Tammi and Alicia)

Charis recently came back to temp with Moses during her vacation, and she decided to organise an outing with Tammi and Shirlyn, but Ms Shirlyn couldn't make it coz she was not feeling well. Tammi and Shirlyn used to work in the same office; and Tammi is actually my predecessor. We do such outings once in a while, basically when someone does the organisation. Heh. Moses left before I could make it there actually.

Joy and Happiness...leads to Contentment (part1)

There are a thousand and one things I can say now...and yet, not be able to say. I just dunno where to start! Life's good now, everything is near-perfect =) Near, but not perfect yet (nothing can be ever perfect). I mean, of coz there are the things I can go on bitch about for days (money, work, ppl...etc) But I am almost contented. It's like, everything has started falling into place, and I can start being grateful for all that I have now. Or will have.

I graduated 3 yrs ago, found a job within the month despite the economy being down in the doldrums, and even though it's a small firm, the money sux...the job nature and most importantly, the ppl there more than make up for it. I guess I can safely say I love my boss, my boss loves me...and everyone else loves me =) I may not have a lot of dough, but in the least I make enough to give myself a comfortable life.

And as you would have known by now, I'll be embarking on a new challenge in two months' time - starting grad sch. I nearly wanted to use the phrase "starting on a new phase of my life"...but no, I think that doesn't really count. My life isn't going to undergo some overhaul because of that. Rather, my life will change because of the additional responsibilities I would have, that I would have to adapt to.

But I think what is and what will be life changing for me, is the new addition in my life. Strictly speaking, he isn't a new addition to my life. *grin* He's always been around me; friends we've been for close to ten years I think (when I was in JC1). Somehow, things just didn't happen..or rather, it was kinda like wrong person or wrong timing. I guess we've come a long way indeed. There were the wrong people in between, bad situations, etc. It's sorta like what many would have heard before, you are looking and searching, but the person has actually always been around you all this time. Yeah, that's it, something so simple, yet complicated by little twists of fates. But seems that everything has come full circle now. Life's funny like that, once you let go of the wheel, you just might end up right where you belong. And I guess I do feel that with him, he is where I belong.

These past 2 months or so has been life-changing for me...ok, too strong a word. Life-transforming. We both have developed rather fast, but positively, I would say. He was cautious...very, I should add. Or perhaps I should say I don't like to look at things too complicatedly. The world is complex as it is; it doesn't need any more input from me. But well, things remained that way.

Anyways to cut the story short, we had a sort of burst-up, and that's when he realised he shouldn't be making me sad anymore (he told me so...hee). I'm glad things turn out ok. It was kinda surreal in the beginning, coz the fate-twisting moments and the fairytale ending made everything seemed unbelievable. But well...it is happening. Has happened, actually.

Some very important things I've learnt. One - both must want this to work. Both must work together. We all know it takes two to clap, but how loud, how resounding is the applause? That depends on both parties now, doesn't it? How much strength you apply, how fast you bring you hand down, how you fashion your clap (I know this sounds kinda physics-y); it all makes a whole lot of difference. Simply said, it's the effort you want to, are willing to and WILL invest. Talk is cheap, but actions and speech goes together; neither can do without the other. You need to share your thoughts and do it.

The other thing I've learnt - Sharing. Sharing your thoughts, sharing your plans and ideals...basically, sharing your lives. It makes a whole lot of difference, and I appreciate that really a whole lot more because he isn't in Singapore (for now at least). It makes me understand the meaning and value of sharing. I guess that's the case with human beings; when things come easy, we tend to take things for granted.

But I do believe in one thing - what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. *smile* We've had our fair share of quarrels, some petty issues, some big arguments. But at the end of the day, there is an unspoken consensus; that these quarrels are a process for us to get to know each other better. It doesn't entail anything more than learning to understanding each other. Some people tend to see quarrels as a breaking point, that it is an indication of ill-fit. Granted, I'm not saying quarrels are ALL good. Everything must serve a purpose. You don't quarrel for the sake of arguing or winning an argument. At the end of the day, we must solve it, learn from it...or at least move on from it. Much as we feel like a perfect fit, like a glove to a hand, we are also still learning to accomodate each other in some areas. Tweaking and fine-tuning the works. And this is a never-ending learning process. Once you think you've got it all...then I guess it's time to start worrying. Because you can never get it all.

But of course...it helps quite a fair bit that he gives in to me *hee* or rather, he knows what makes me tick...the stuff that makes me melt and go all soft and gooey. Heh...He picks up fast. Haha...

I guess it's all about looking at the positive side of things. I'm probably the last person who has a right to talk about optimism. But hey, there are still things I know I should be positive about. And I'm learning still, to be less pessimistic.

I certainly don't mean to sound like a self-righteous guru now...you should realise that I'm just sharing some aspects of what I have personally gone through. Every person is unique, and that makes every relationship one of a kind too. I'm sure you've got your lessons to share, your stories to tell. I'm just sharing mine. =D but I guess I oughta stop now, in case I become too overbearing. I'll share more in Part 2...soon, hopefully =)

P/S: I've just realised that I took 2 weeks to write, finish and post this entry. Yes, hopefully the nx won't take as long...There are just thousand and one things I want to include la...heh