Boxing Day

A fulfilling day it has been today! Went over in the morning to Fen's place to do our Xmas thingy. This year I got Fen's present (a necklace) while Chuan got mine. For once, I wished I had gotten Hui's present. It's this very nice wool neck scarf that's not too thick. Good enuff to wear in Singapore, probably in cold offices like mine. Haha...I guess I was attracted to the colours. Oh well.

We did our exchange of clothes. I brought a paper bag full of clothes that I either don't want/don't wear/can't fit, half expecting to return home empty handed (coz I thought I wouldn't be able to pick up anything from the girls). Voila! I return home with one and half bags! Haha...One bag is all mine, while the other bag is for others. You see, the remaining clothes that none of us wanted (either due to outdated fashion or that we simply can't wear), I thought my dear Isabel can fit into them. For one thing, that girl doesn't really go shopping for clothes and waits for people to buy stuff for her. Some of the clothes are really in ok condition, so I thought she may be interested. Some are really nice and new in fact, but either too fitting/too sexy that we wouldn't wear. *chuckles*

Not bad, I picked up lotsa T-shirts and some working clothes. But too tired to pack now, so shall leave the stack till this weekend when I shall deal with it. I figured that I would clean and pack my wardrobe then at the same time. Good idea. Ha...And while I was running my shower just now, I had a rough idea to restructure my running schedule, but that would involve me waking up earlier in the morning, and as I know it myself, there's no way I'm a morning person. So I guess I probably would have to scrap it. *exasperated with myself*

Ok, just thought I'll leave a short update. To bed now. Working day tomoro...will be ultra hectic...blue

It's Xmas!

How's everyone's Xmas? Mine was boring indeed...went to help my dad with work, so couldn't make any plans also. By the time I came back in the evening, I was tired and almost crashed. But I still went for my run coz I've been really lazy last week with the exercise. *Angel*

Going out with the girls tomorrow. THis year's gathering is gonna be a tad difference. Apart from our usual gift exchange, we are gonna "recycle" our stuff. Meaning, clothes or accessories that we no longer wear/don't want/don't need, we shall do exchanges between us and see who wants what. Great idea isn't it..heh. At the end of the day, stuff that are left behind ie., no one wants, will get carted off to the Salvation Army. Sigh...*AngelS we are*

Been relentlessly tormented by a tummy that refused to give me a good break. Flipping left, right, centre, up and down, it feels as though someone is squeezing my stomach at times, yet perfectly normal after a while. THis been going on for the past day already. No use to run to the loo...doesn't work. =( Dunno what's wrong. Revenge for the amount of rubbish I've been cramming in for the past couple days, perhaps? Imagine someone squeezing your tummy every five minutes. Go figure. Gawd...But at least my flu has miraculously cleared last night, leaving only a slightly scratchy throat. I guessed it was probably a lack of proper rest the past week that has brought about the lag in my immune system. I slept most of yesterday away, after coming home in the evening after helping my dad. Caught up on beauty sleep now. Was lying in bed last nite before falling asleep, staring at the ceiling with thousand and one things running through my mind. In fact I do that everynite. I've been doing a "summary" of how my day has been everynight. I love lying on my comfy and warm bed, getting ready to sleep, ruminating random thoughts, thinking about what's happened that day, thinking about my life so far, and then feel myself drifting and spinning deeper...then falling asleep. Sleep is good. =)

Anyway, think I'm just crapping a load of bull now.

Was woken up by Jackson's call halfway through my beauty sleep. I was probably in the "light sleep stage" when he called. Initially he wanted to wish me Merry Xmas, but we ended up chatting for a good half hour before I hung up. I really needed my sleep coz I needed to wake at 5 in the morning. He was over at his fren's place for a xmas party, and he was slightly tipsy already. Being the wonderful conversationalist that I am (Hey, I can be if I choose to....otherwise I'm plain unfriendly) and the crappy him, from Marilyn to how we got to know each other, we covered so many things. Trust me, the circumstances in which we became acquainted were hilarious. Haha...The ups and downs that we've been thru...SOmething to be cherished indeed. And he was telling me that our friendship has surpassed and withstood so many things, he knows he can count on me when he needs support. Vice Versa. Yeah, one of the rare serious moments in our numerous conversations. Haha...And it's amazing to know that we've known each other for some seven years. Since 1998. Now I feel old.

Today's the second day that Mom's away. Enjoying some peace at home. I'm sure my dad's ears are given a break too. Muahahaha...My mom loves talking to my dad every nite without fail before she falls asleep. The tricky part is, dad has to wake ultra early in the morning, like 4.30 in the morning. And mom would still be yakking on at 1 in the morning. SIgh. We've tried telling her to give dad a break, but she doesn't listen. Yeah, poor dad.

And I think the house is getting dusty. Yeah, I've been lazy and shirking my responsibilites. Who cares...It's Xmas man. Anyways, the maid washed the clothes alredy. I was doing some ironing just now (see, at least I did the ironing. And there were tons ok), and I sort of made a promise to myself. Next year, I shall want to spend a white Xmas. Meaning, I will go on a holiday and spend my Xmas overseas, at a place which snows. I've always wanted to indulge in the Xmas atmosphere in one of the Eurpoean countries. My previous trips have always occurred during other seasons like Spring. THe closest I came to was autumn, and even then, there was nothing much to "feel". I want to be able to feel and perhaps even get caught up in the Xmas rush...the rush to do Xmas shopping, and spending Xmas their way. SOunds lovely. As I've said, I've always wanted to do that, but the cost of spending Xmas overseas put me off so far. (I know I'm stingy but hey, I'm poor ok...and I'm trying to be frugal) One, going overseas during Xmas is equivalent to peak period charges, both here locally and overseas. Hotels are gonna charge exorbitant rates. And the air tickets? Everything is gonna be so costly. But well, since I've made that promise to myself and it's for next year, then I shall try my darnest to start saving for it now. I've got a year to do that. *hopeful*

Ok, I'm certainly looking forward to tomorrow. Wonder whose prezzy I will be getting. Past years, somehow I've been getting alot of hui's presents, while hui has been getting mine. While Net and fen seemed to be forever exchanging prezzies with each other only. Talk about coincidence. Heh...Didn't manage to contact Yuan though. We tried to remind her about our annual boxing day date couple of weeks ago, but she told us she may be unable to get away coz she can't close her shop till late. Sigh...then just now earlier in the afternoon while we were confirming timing with each other, I msg her. No reply. Called her, both hps off. Avoiding us? *strange* Fen said we'll try again tomoro morning, and if we still hear no word from her, we shall all troop down to her shop. Wahahaha...We'll see then.

T'is the season to be jolly...

Been really a hell of a week..up to my neck with work with no signs of abating. Xmas is drawing nearer, so have you bought all your gifts yet? Heh...

We had our office Xmas lunch on Thurs, at Moses' friend's eatery near Arab Street. We went there last year too, but this year's food was much better. There was turkey, Salmon and beef during the main course, and the Xmas log cake was great too. Sprinkle of hazelnuts, a foamy-like cream as topping with a dash of carrot-cake taste. And I don't mean carrot cake as "chai tou kweh"...carrot cake as in the cake *duh*

Anyways, the highlight was when we exchanged our presents. We wrote our names on balls of paper which were thrown into a bowl and everyone just picked. Amazingly, Eve got mine and I got hers! She got me this doggie door wedge. Quite cute and certainly useable. Hehe...I felt a little paiseh though...Coz I bought Bath rocks from Natural Source. I figured that with the number of guys in my office, likelihood of a guy receiving my prezzie is rather low. True, but never did I think that my gift would also go to Eve, who doesn't use such stuff....sigh -.-

Ok, we did our big gift exchange today. The spoken rule was that everyone was supposed to just bring a gift for exchange. And I thought me and Isabel are the only ones who bought prezzies for everyone else too. Imagine my surprise, when after we whipped out our prezzies to distribute to everyone else, they too have something up their sleeves. The unspoken rule I guess.

I spent a huge bomb this month, not just my own expenditure, but because of the festivities (aka Xmas) and the gifts. Sigh. I'll leave this to next month's credit card bill. Bound to come up to a dazzling and impressive figure. Not to mention intimidating. *shudders*

Who got what (from Isa & me)?

Let's see. Tricia got a cute pink piggy bank. Before you think I'm cheapskate, allow me to clarify that it's something she liked very much and she wanted to get for herself. But of course, I disuaded her. Wahahaha..

Lena got a nice Mickey Mouse mug with lid. The Mickey Mouse is the vintage looking one. Yeah. Well, there was nothing in particular to get her. And since she and Michael will be leaving us for good next week, I thought to give her something that she can see and use (then remember us. If not, out of sight, out of mind). *sob*

We got HuiYing a hp holder in the form of a banana. Why banana? Well, there's a story behind the banana. Insiders' joke. Hahaha..."Xiang Jiao!"

Eve got 2 bars of choc. One dark choc, one white choc. Expensive bars ok...from Topshop. (yes, Topshop sells choc. Real nice wrapper and all, with good copywriting. I must say I was attracted to the wordings.) Sigh. I do regret buyign the choc for her after that. Coz I felt that I didn't give enough thought into it and simply settled for the easy way out. *Kick myself* There were some stuff that she certainly could do with. Besides, the money would have been spent more worthwhile if I didn't buy the chocs. Oh well.

Boss Cindy...what can I say. Of course must reserve the most pricey one for her lah. It isn't easy to buy prezzy for her. For one thing, she isn't like any other ladies who likes clothes/jewellery/fashion. She's the more intellectual sort, and you would think books, CDs are stuff for her. True, but the problem is, its hard to pinpoint her taste. So this time, we decided to buy her a working shirt. We went into Polo Ralph, and got her a Polo T instead. One of their later designs. Nice. And I purposely chose hot pink for her. Her wardrobe is the typical safe zones, like black, white and blue. Duh. Something different now. =D

The rest of the office peeps like Moses, Michael, Angela and Jimmy got our specially packed packages of selected choc candies. Lovingly packed and personalised. Of course we are thoughtful. Hehehe...Time to calculate that bill now. -.-

My haul this year was rather fruitful. A handphone holder from Lena, a pair of sweet earrings from Tricia, a salt shaker from Ms Patricia, and a handphone accessory from Isa. Not to mention the cookies and chocs and stuff. =D Oh...and my biggest gift this year is from Cindy - a Fila bag. Nice. Isa got a T-Shirt from her, and Angela got a wrist rest. Oh but I think the gift that beats all others, is the one given by Moses to Tricia...Guess what? iPod Nano! *scream everyone* Yes...so generous rite...

Ok, I'm meeting the girls on Boxing Day, Monday. Our practice since we were in Secondary School. We figured that Xmas is normally "reserved" for Church/Family/Boyfriends, so we being best-est friends, should gladly settle for "second-best", that's 26 Dec Boxing Day. Sensible, aren't we? Ha..Anyways, guess what I bought for the gift exchange? Let's just say it's unlike past years' kinda present. Embargoed till Monday..Hahaha. Am curious what I would be getting in the exchange. Heh

Think I'm coming down with something. Probably caught some powderful virus from Eve and CIndy. THey were sick before they even left for China, and now that they are back, they still have yet to recover. Croaking and coughing away, spreading the "good" stuff around. Xmas is indeed the season for sharing. *shakes head* Moreover, I think the fact that I haven't had enuff rest is probably getting me down. This weekend is gonna be worse. My mom is going to Taiwan, and everyone in the family has been roped in to help her in the business while she's away. Smart. Benefits of having a big family. Only my heavily pregnant 2nd sister is spared. Ha...I'm gonna have to wake even earlier than I ever have on both Sat and Sun morning. I need sleep! Ample and overdose would be most ideal! *slaps myself to reality* Rite...to reality and to bed then. Ciao.

Saturday Day Night Fever....

*Yawn* Desperate lack of sleep...

Covered an event last night at Neptune...and I brought Isabel along. Hehe...culture shock for her. You know, with that kinda dance segment. Haha...I remembered my first time at Neptune sometime last year. At that point, the performance was only opened to those aged above 21. This year, anyone above 18 can watch it. And boy, they were more explicit this time, as compared to when I watched it last year. Ha...how times change things.

Anyways, was a successful event. Fun and entertaining games. Isa and I were seated at the media table, and it shouldn't have come as a surprise that almost all were rather vocal people. There was one in particular...I must say I do admire her guts...though some may even think she's rude. *shrugs*

Well, Amy dated me for a movie today, and technically I said yes. But as the day wore on, nothing I planned happen. I wanted to go to the bank in the morning - naught. I was supposed to go tuition - zilch. I was supposed to go run - it rained. Watch movie - I went Suntec coz of the midnite sale. Ha! Remember, I said I wanted to do a pre-Xmas-shopping shopping...Running should be on tomoro then.

So ultra crowded, killed my mood a little to push against people to source for bargains...not to mention the queueing to try on, queueing to pay...Kaoz...I skipped some shops as a result. There's no way to even go into them. I didn't buy much, more like window-shopped. Angela (Bro's gf) and bro bought more stuff. But I did end up one necklace richer, and a hundred bucks poorer. Sigh. Yes. I did it again. Something good came out of it too. At least I decided what to get for the gift exchange with the girls. Ha...Certainly something different that I used to buy in previous years....I'm excited to see their reaction...Shhh...Angela came back with a wrap skirt from Bum, which I think I'm going back to buy it...Perhaps I'll head down tomoro if I have time. Nice.

It so happened that Jackson and Sin Tze and their gang went to Suntec for late night shopping too. Towards the later part of the night, he rang me up and it so happened that we were just a few shops away from each other. Met up and talked crap for a good 10min before we bade farewell for more bargains. *grin*

First time I saw Jackson since he came back from Australia a month ago. We've been saying we want to meet up for the longest time, but never found the time. Either I'm too caught up with work, or he's out with his mates. But well, we did agree that we will try to find a day this week for dinner. We'll see though. He's going back for summer school on 2 Jan...that's technically another 2 more weeks or so. And though I refused to admit that I will give him something (I kept telling him I aint gonna give him anything), I've decided to give him a watch. Honestly speaking, I do want to give him something (bday + Xmas), but I really have no idea what to give him. Sweaters - he has tonnes. Shirts - he's still schooling, no use for shirts. He wears Polo Ts, but given that that's the only thing he wears, he already has lotsa to boot. Wallet - he just bought himself one a couple days ago. Damn. So, I figured a watch is the best deal so far. The thing is, he told me he intend to reward himself with a Tag Heur next year (read: soon). Talk about "poor" student. Anyways...I figured he can wear the one I give until he buys himself the Tag. At least I figured that he would stick with the watch I give him for a tad longer before he gets the Tag. Ok, settled. Unless I can think of something better to give him. Now, the challenge is getting him a watch that he likes and will wear. That's the tough cookie. Sigh. I have in mind alredy to get one with metal strap, but that posed the next challenge -- His wrist size. Urgh. Nvm, I figured that I will buy, then if it doesn't fit, I will bring him back to the shop to adjust and fix it. Alritey!

Ok, gotta wake early tomoro (again). Wonder why on earth my weekends morning are spent so sickeningly. But well, I guess tomoro is different. Going to "visit" my grandad with my granny. Hmm...Just remembered that I brought some Xmas cards back to write (for office one)...Seems like I wouldn't have time for that this weekend now. And I'm nursing a sore throat on my right side (God wonders why it's half a side) that just sprang up 2hrs ago. Sigh. Hear me croak. To bed now...

Nothings...

Saturday was a mad rush. I baked my cookies and only finished at like nine in the night...plus washing up...woah, could have killed me. Hmm...the outcome was satisfactory I guess. Not fantastic. Nice aroma, good taste, just that it didn't "rise" properly. Not sure where the fault is...but I did commit a faux pas.

You see, I was supposed to put in 2 and 1/4 cups of rising flour, but I ended up putting only 3/4 cup of it...*Bash me!* I guessed it was because prior to that, I need put in only 3/4 cups of granulated sugar and brown sugar. Yeah. The first round of "cookies" melted. Haha...anyway, to cut the chase, eventually I did succeed. Hehehe..too bad I don't have a camera to take down the moment of glory. Heh...

****

Ok, boss is away the whole of this week. Kinda of miss her. Cat is away, but doesn't mean that the mice are having a great time ok...The days leading up to her departure was hell...and things still aren't any better after she left. But I guess we are still holding well. Things are still under control, albeit haywire. She called back today to say that it was freezing cold there. Heh...

Have yet to do my Xmas shopping...GOing with Isabel on Monday. Hopefully I can pick up the stuff that I need and want. Hmm...mabbe I should do a pre-Xmas shopping this weekend *Ponders*....

Itchy

Oh man...My rashes are getting worse by the minute and I'm itching really badly now. I wanted to go into office this morning to settle some last minute stuff with my boss before she flies off tomorrow, but I think I'm in no condition to venture out. Not that the rashes are anywhere on my face or visible part of my body lah...but still...I don't want to go out scratching like a monkey.

Went with Lily and Tricia last nite to check out an ex-colleague, Tammi's year-end mini-bash thrown by her company. Her office is located at Muhd Sultan (so happening, I want also), but as I suspected, her company invited so many people on the pretext of a "year-end party", but really, they wanted people to drop by and hoo-haa about their products and tour their showfloors...Ha!

We hung around, partly waiting for Amy to finish her work and join us. The food was ok, and they engaged 2 dancers to perform. And we woahed over the expensive taps and shower boxes they sell. Eg., $20K for a mini shower box that has a simple in-built FM radio, with pumps built at strategic places within the shower box, that send out jets of water which can massage you. Keen? LOL

We made up our minds to move on to some other place after Amy is done. We left the place around 10, and after Amy has done her dinner, we delibrated and agonised over our many choices, but eventually decided to check out Balcony at Heeren. Yap, none of us had been there before.

It's a nice place to chill and hang out, really. Not much action, and the place wasn't that big, but the DJ does spin some nice music. The crowd is mostly youngsters to yuppies...some caucasians here and there. Until at one point, we even saw an "uncle" walking around (alone) with a beer in his hands. Yes, UNCLE...or should I say "ah cek" *giggles*

Knowing my condition, I had a lychee matinee only, while Amy had Long Island Tea. Tricia had Strawberry Margarita and Lily had the Pineapple one. I tell you, I like their drinks rather than mine. Humpt...anyways, the Long Island and the Margarita there seemed to taste better (in my opinion)...I like it better. Heh...

We chatted, took silly photos while waited for Ruey Teng, Amy's colleague and Lily's friend too (small world) to join us after her work. By the time she arrived with her 2 other colleague, it was past 1, and Tricia and I had glazed eyes. I had it worse...teary eyes...from yawnin too much. Ha..

They decided to adjorn to another club, while Tricia and I decided to call it a night. They left, and while we were supposed to catch a cab back together, Tric and I ended up taking more photos by ourselves. Fun...hehe...Somehow cameras and taking photos is a real kick for the people I work with. Me included of course. Ha...We've agreed to go Zouk next Friday, though we aren't sure whether it will really materialise. Coz Tric may have to pick her bf up and I have to cover an event next Friday night. But I supposed it shouldn't be a problem on my side, coz I probably can join them after my event has ended. Maybe not Zouk, since they want to dance and therefore, we need to travel light. And me covering an event means I have an ultra big camera (big by today's standards) on me. Sheesh...One of our client's D&D...more drinking? Hahaha...

I'll probably get the photos from Tric on Monday, so maybe I can post some up after that...Oh yah, I still have some pictures that I managed to dig out but haven't post as yet. Oh well...when I don't feel lazy bah...

Let's see...I've got work to do this weekend...and I'm gonna bake some cookies today! Yayy! Let's hope it turns out well....It should...hahaha

Now... that is something you will not get to see in local papers...

Our dear Mr PM Lee...Now that's interesting...and of course embarassing for this little red dot.

Instead of bowing in front of the German flag according to the international protocol, Singapore's Prime Minister walked on and left Chancellor Merkel behind.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel, left, bows in front of the German flag during the welcoming ceremony with military honours for Singapore's Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, center, in the Chancellory in Berlin on Thursday, Dec. 1, 2005.

Instead of bowing in front of the German flag according to the international protocol Singapore's Prime Minister kept on walking and left Chancellor Merkel behind.

It was Merkel's first welcoming ceremony with military honours for an international guest after being elected Chancellor.

Achtung....more paisehness after the hanging of the aussie...Do the soldiers in the background look as though they want to load some live rounds and be trigger-happy? Heh...Thankfully the Third Reich is long over...*whew*

International protocol is just a bunch of fat books...very boring to read but it's pretty much standard stuff. The protocol officer was supposed to be in charge of briefing the PM before every and any event. Some fellow countrymen actually feel that as a seasoned Minister and General, such are stuff that should come so natural to him. But I guess he's only human...and human do err under the most unthinkable or unforgiveable circumstances. And let's not forget that much as he's a "seasoned" Minister, he's still a "newbie" PM. You still feel that doesn't excused him? Well...*shrugs*

Wonder if any heads will roll after this incident.

*Photos courtesy of AP News*

Ups and Downs..

So yes, finally I've got an oven! About time too! Hmm...but I forgot to bring the recipe back, so I guess my cookies will have to wait till next week. Damn. I was looking forward to trying it out (Isabel's recipes). I promised to give my first batch of cookies to Mr J. *chuckles* Poison him...hahaha! Oh yes, he's back for the holidays. For a month or so, then he would have to go back for summer classes. Coming back to chase his dear "Marilyn" too...*hehehe*

Anyways, THose who know me will know that I can hardly cook for nuts. Man, even a trip to Seoul Garden will get me all "armed"...much as I like the food. You see, I'm afraid of spurting oil. Yes. So either whoever I'm with cooks for me, or I will have to shield myself with the paper serviette. On my hand of course! Even way back in Sec Sch's Home Econs classes, I was afraid of spluttering oil. Not that I can't cook, mind you. I can do a decent meal, not fantastic, but certainly above average. Just the oil puts me off. I happen to have a low threshold of pain you see. Heh...

So, I even remember this occasion, when we were supposed to fry a fish during one of the classes. Now, I've watched my mom fried fishes before, and one, I remember the *sheesh* sounds when the fish hits the oil and two, I saw oil squirting all over. So, the very fearful me picked up the wok's cover, prepared to shield myself, and then I hid behind the cover. With only the right hand out, I tossed the fish into the wok, into the boiling oil. Yes I tossed it. You don't need a good imagination to know what happened next. Haha...One, oil did sputter everywhere, and two, my Home Econs teacher came over and in her motherly style, wagged a horrified finger at me and hollered, "Aiyoh! How can you throw the fish in!" I'll never forget this scene as far as I lived. Haha...

But one thing for certain, I can bake very well. In fact, typical of my nature, I was good at the baking segments, the dessert-making sessions. Rock cookies, cakes, swiss rolls...mine all turned out nice! I remembered some of my friends' swiss rolls unrolling...wahahaha...THankfully the cooking classes were more than cooking; there's baking, desserts...I guess these parts saved my skin. Heh...

Apart from cooking, I'm adept at the rest of house-keeping. Doing a mean cleaning job, keeping the house spic and span, washing, looking after kids...Heck, I even know how to handle a baby the correct way...Somethng not many girls are disadvantaged at. Hehe...Not bad huh? I'm proud of myself sufficiently. =D I can always find a husband who cooks then, and I'll be fine with doing the washing after that. Fair and square. THen again, I may wriggle out of the deal and he can do the washing too...hahahaha...

Think I may really need to go to the doc sometime soon. My knee is killing me. I've endured a week's worth of limping (and the pain up and down the stairs really can kill me), I can hardly run properly, and I think that has begun to affect my right ankle too. Urghhh.

When he's gone...

What will she do?

Who will finish her sentences?

Who will finish her dinner when she can't?

Who will know how to make a cup of coffee for her exactly the way she likes it?

Who will snuggle up and keep her warm at night?

Who will know exactly what she is thinking just by the look on her face?

Who will be the safe harbor when she needs a break from the world?

Your Prayer or Mine?

Something funny to tide us over this Thursday before the elusive weekend comes along. Plus, it's the beginning of a new month! Starting with the right foot forward...

A WOMAN'S PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep.

One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long.

One who thinks before he speaks. One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed. When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more.

A man who'll make love to my mind. And knows how to answer 'How big is my behind?'

I pray this man will love me no end. And always be my very best friend.

Amen.

A MAN'S PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big breasts, who owns a liquor store and a trout boat.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give two hoots.

Amen.

Life Sux...

Yes it's that time of the month again...And no, I don't mean PMS or whatever biological things that turns up in your mind. What I'm referring to is the cyclical patterns at work, and now is the "upturn". Peaking soon.

Deadlines = Dead-ends. All fall on the same deadline, and the deadline is crap ...You tell me, how? I don't even want to bother using proper English now. *snarls and bares my teeth*

*******

Series of smses between me & ex:

Him: "Ask u sumthg, if im already financially stable, do i still stand another chance?"

~ 18 Nov, 1750hrs

Me: "I'm sorry, I don't have any feelings for you anymore. It's not about the financial aspect now. I've closed that chapter in my life, and I've moved on. You should too. Besides, you have a gf now. You should devote your heart and love to her instead of dwelling on the past."

Him: "The relatnshp wf her is almost like a virtual 1. No pt continuing since shes not the 1 i reali love. my heart is not wf her."

Me: "You should treasure her and the relationship. It wasn't easy to come by and she had stood by you when you needed her. I belong to your past, and with all due consideration, you are not in my present and you will not be in my future. You should learn to let go."

Him: "nvm, if u hv any feelings again, my heart will always be open 4 u, anytime, k?"

~ 24 Nov, 2240hrs

Me: *No reply*

"Can we meet on friday nite 4 a dinner or something?"

~ 28 Nov, 2150hrs

Me: *No reply*

And the one sms that really freaked me out now --

"Since friday, i wuz ard ur office after I knock off, everyday without fail. juz wanted 2 juz c u so much coz I reali miss ur looks so much but neva fated 2 c u...but not 2 worry, I wun b those stalker or watsoever. i juz wanna take a gd look at u, dats all. even if we dun meet or acknowledge each other."

~ 29 Nov, 2315hrs

Omg...Never ever have I led him on or anything. My heart went cold that instance. But after I've calmed down a little, I think he doesn't mean much harm...So I shall put it out of my mind. Yah. Hey, what was I to do? Call the police? No, I think it doesn't warrant that as yet. For awhile, I actually comtemplated lying that I've changed my job and no longer work where I was. But it got me worried...there would then be no stopping him coming over to my place rite? *Shudders* Besides, what if he found out the truth, that I had lied to him? So, I shall just ignore the sms. Perhaps I'll just bluff him that I'm attached now if he insists on being pushy.

My gawd...life sux, doesn't it?

Tomorrow!

Whew! Today's Friday! Finally the end of yet another busy week...but it also means the beginning of another busy week. Kaos...

Just got home from work (what else), haven't taken my dinner yet. Now waiting for Mommy+Daddy Dearest to bring me food *hahaha...Let's see, I'm gonna have a busy Saturday tomorrow...Which I'm glad for...honestly =D

(1) Playing a game of Badminton with my bro+gf in the morning at 7am. Booked the court liao. Yeah.

(2) Hoping to go for a run before the game though, and after the game...cuz the game is gonna last an hr only. Pooh...Hopefully I'm able to wake up earlier.

(3) Meeting my uni fren Pauline in the early afternoon to Ikea...not sure what she's gonna get. Hmm...

(4) THen, we gonna travel down to town to meet my second Sister at 3pm for more shopping. Haha! *rubs hands in glee* Finally the R&R after a long hectic week...Of course I'm looking forward to it! THe combination sounds a little strange, I know. The reason why Pauline is coming with my second sister and me is bcoz later in the evening, I'm gonna have dinner with sis+bro-in-law, and I don't want to be the lightbulb. Haha...Yesh, two lightbulbs better than one lone lightbulb.

(5) Now this is the downer, the damper, the spoilsport. Got news this afternoon that I've gotta cover an assignment tomorrow evening, at about 6pm. Technically shouldn't last longer than an hour so *wipes perspiration from brow*...Now the tricky part is, Pauline is gonna follow me to my client's place. It's the first time she's gonna see my sister, so that's no way she can stick to my sister while I go cover my event. Initially, my intention is for my sister and Pauline to follow me to my client's place, then can show her the guy with the nice manly voice...Hahaha...but my sister, being pregnant, wouldn't find it easy to move around. Not a gd idea, so...she's just gonna sit at a cafe and wait for us. In the meantime, she will move on to our dinner place aka Seoul Garden at 7pm to book table first. Afterwhich, my bro-in-law will knock off and join her, and Pauline and me will join her too after my event. Nice planning.

(6) My sister and bro-in-law will adjorn for movie (Harry Potter) while Pauline and me will go on to the other part of our programme, which is.........I also dunno. hahaha...coz Pauline has seen Harry Potter, though I haven't, and I can't very well dump her and go watch my movie rite...so.....the very noble me has sacrificed. It's ok...I'd probably watch it next week with Amy...She booked me liao. Hahaha...

Okay...mom & dad back...me gonna grab quick bite, read the newspaper, then hit the sack...Long day tomoro!

Lately

Been more than a week since I've last blogged an entry. Been real darn busy at work, rushing deadlines, writing countless and endless streams of articles *sees stars*. Almost made me want to lay off writing or blogging for awhile...hehe

I think I've brought the description of "workoholic" (that's applicable to me), to new heights. I've been going into office like 8 plus in the morning, and leaving office after 8 in the night. Imagine, more than 14 hours a day. Heck, I spend more time working than anything else. Think my mom is gonna nag me about treating my home like a hotel again. Sigh.

It's certainly no mean feat for someone nocturnal like me, to wake like 6 or 7 in the morning in order to reach office before 9. There was a period of time when I reached office at 930 in the morning due to the late nights that I keep. These two weeks have sort of hit me with a new realisation, ie. (1) it's nice to come into office early too (2) I've been coming into office way too late during that couple of weeks (3) I've got tons of work to clear and I don't have much choice anyway. Especially with my boss's impending trip, the tight deadlines are a result of trying to clear as much as possible before she leaves, and also because all clients just so love to jam our schedules and then breathe down our necks. Yah. Gives them joy to tap their toes behind us and chasing us every minute for drafts. And with yet again another editorial meeting on the coming Monday...*sees stars and planets now...isn't that Pluto?*

********

Something really funny happened last week. I went to cover an event for a client last Wednesday and because it was a last minute thing, I had to go alone without my boss. The event stretched to the night and included a sit-down 8-course dinner. Everyone was really nice to me, and some recognised me from covering one of their previous events. However, this time, there was one particular guy who kept hounding me. Harassed me even. He invited me to sit at the same table, and at one point even refused to let go of my hand *creepers*. Of course, I escaped after I told him I'm on assignment and have to do my job. And after the event ended he even passed me a glass of wine and join him for a talk...and once again, I told him I'm not supposed to drink on the job (excuse of course) and that I needed to rush home to finish some work. He offered to send me back, but I lied that my boss is coming by to pick me up. Haha...

Of course I did tell my boss the next day and she even told me to use her as an excuse whenever necessary..hahaha..She told me she thought the bosses would "take care" of me. They are very nice people, but does she really think they would watch out for me during their functions? Besides, they would think I'm fully capable of taking care of myself (I am...just inexperienced only).

Oh yes, my ex is bothering me again. He's getting blatant and explicit now, telling me about his feelings and how he wants to get back with me. I told him on equal terms that (1) I have NO feelings for him AT ALL (2) I will NEVER consider a relationship with him EVER AGAIN (3) I have moved on. I just wish he would leave me alone. My Gawd...get away from me please.

It irks me somehow that I've been attracting the wrong kind of attention of late. This young chap of 22 years old whom I know has been telling me how he wants to have a relationship, asking me if I have a boyfriend *duh* But the point here is, he has some serious issues with his family. He's facing a difficult phase, and I think he needs to sort out his life first and it's certainly not a relationship that he needs.

Happiness is...

Cindy and Eve took Isa and I out for some wonderful ice-cream last night near Sunset Way...The Daily Scoop - heard of it? They make the ice-cream themselves and each of us ordered a cup each. Some unique flavours they have, apart from the usual fruity ones. From peanut butter ice-cream that really tasted like peanut butter, to hazelnut choc, which tasted almost like "Kinder Bueno"...and their fruity-flavours like soursop, cempedak and durian...woah...no words can describe. These don't taste synthetic or anything weird...just the wholesome taste of the real fruit. *dreamy* I had Lychee martinee and I tell you, it's heavenly! Of course, as the name suggests, they did put in martinee and half through the cup, I was feeling hot and flushed...not drunk though. *heh* Isa had Belgian choc or something like that, which is another yummilicious flavour. Thick dark choc, with a slight hint of bitterness...The four of us basically shared our cups with one another, which heightened the flavour and fun of the outing. *grin* Anyways, on the way back, we agreed that the next outing would constitute a hike to either Bt Timah hill or MacRitchie. Can't wait for it.

After I went home and showered, I couldn't help but think about how fortunate I have been, and how satisfactory my life almost is now. I say "almost" because there will always be something that I am in want of. Which precisely shakes me to reality that it is almost impossible to have everything. New things spring up after I get what I want.

Let's see, I'm surrounded by wonderful friends, people I can talk to and count on, people I know who will not hesitate to be there for me. Tried and tested. *grin* Even the people I work with, I don't consider them as colleagues, because we already have surpassed that stage. We are all good friends.

Hmm...I have a job that I love. I enjoy my work (despite all my complaints), I like my working environment. I have a nice boss who treats me well (though she still isn't paying me ideally) and is really concerned for my well-being. I have colleagues who care for one another. Having said that, of course it isn't just one-way from them to me. Goes without saying that I care alot for their well-being too. *heh*

The dough I bring home monthly isn't alot, isn't ideal, but it does pay my necessities and my bills every month, cushions my monthly shopping trips (not alot though), gets me what I want, gives a nice allowance to my parents, and I still get to save. Haha...I don't earn alot, fyi. Please bear in mind that I apart from my job, I do give tuition to a pair of brothers, which supplements my income too. Oh, and did I mention that I have wonderful paymasters too (my tuition kids' parents)? They trust me with their sons, they treat me almost like family. From bringing the boys out to movies and treating them to meals, I follow them on their house-hunting trips too (imagine that!) haha...Basically, they aren't stingy with their money, and they are generous with me. I've been teaching them for some 5yrs now. I've been really fortunate.

Things are blissful at home, apart from the usual squabbles which are negligible. A cute niece and another one on the way, family life has never been better.

In fact, life has been really kind to me.

Apart from the fact that I'm still boyfriend-less, I think I'm rather contented with my life now. Actually, I think the fact that I don't have a boyfriend now allows me to do and enjoy certain things that I otherwise may not have experienced. Of course, I miss out on certain things, but I do believe that I grow and gain certain things that couplehood doesn't give. *lalalala*

Of course, I do know that contentment may bear a reluctance to step out of my comfort zone. I'm still at the point of reminding myself every now and then that there are certain things I need to improve upon. Moreover, I guess the fact that I'm probably starting the prime of my life, and thus there will be many things I want to achieve and attain. That, should suffice for keeping me in check for the time being.

I do remember that when I was young, I've made certain promises to myself, and one of them is to be very happy, and stay very happy "when I grow up and as I grow old". Though I'm not really into my mid-years as yet, I feel as if I've accomplished half of a goal. Not too bad I guess.

BLue Tuesday...

Cute Picture...hehehe...okie, back to work now! Till the next entry!

Wouldn't it be nice...

It's official...my bro told me he's gonna get registered for a built-to-order flat with his girlfren first, then by the time the flat is ready (assuming its a successful ballot), which would be around three years or so, they can go ROM. I guess he's probably planning ahead; like how in three years' time, they probably could have saved enough, stabilise their relationship and stuff. The only misgiving I have is the fact that they are already discussing marriage so early into their relationship (as I've mentioned, it's been less than six months). Anyways...I guess this probably means he feels that she is THE ONE. She's alright I guess, just perhaps a little young. Heh...Anyways, I do wish him the best then.

****

Bro and me brought my sister out for her birthday treat. We had Sushi at Marina Sq (coz we have discount vouchers...hehehe), followed by ice-cream at Andersons. Not bad for a quick dinner. We certainly had fun. I'm very thankful and appreciative of the wonderful relationship I share with my sisters and brother (them with me too of coz..heh), especially since all of us have grown up and mature. Of course, there's the usual quarrels and childish squabbles, but everything works out fine at the end of the day. Hehe..I guess that's what they mean by blood runs thicker than anything else.

I think I ate too much...so much that I had difficulties sleeping last nite. God, I swear I was tossing and turning about in bed the whole night through. I laid awake when I turned into bed with my ipod, I turned about, and once again, my eyes were wide staring at the window at 5 in the morning. I got up and went to the loo (not that I needed to) and stared out of the window looking at the night scene (not that there was much to see anyway), staring at the night sky. The rapid lightning that lit the night sky was brilliant, especially against the dark clouds that shrouded whatever little sunrise there is. There's not any other moment that I've never yearned for my camera any more than then. Sadly of course...Sigh...Watching that lightning cracked and rippled...and that distant rumbling of the thunder...

Initially I was contemplating to head to the stadium for a morning run, since I felt so wide awake. THen I remembered the lightning and thunder...and possibly a morning downpour, and I scrapped the idea. I even had the whim to turn on my laptop and blog an entry. At that hour, I certainly had alot of stuff running through my mind.

Wouldn´t it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn´t have to wait so long
And wouldn´t it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn´t it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Happy times together we´ve been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn´t it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn´t be a single thing we couldn´t do
We could be married
And then we´d be happy
Wouldn´t it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn´t it be nice
Good night my baby
Sleep tight my baby

Silly Comic Strips for the Week...

Some jokes to lighten up the rest of the work day, the rest of the work week.


Those who dunno how to read Chinese.. erm...too bad? haha...Nah, I can explain them to ya. =D

Anyone with more jokes? or comic strips?

you don't miss your water till your well runs dry

It's tough finding that one person meant for you. Some people believe that there's one person meant for everyone, just a matter of finding that one. So what about those who aren't married? Does it mean they just didn't manage to find that one person? Lost in some place? Or just didn't cross paths? And what about those who are single by choice? Does that mean their other half meant for them would stay unmarried too? Load of crap I guess. Oh well...another night bugged by endless questions. Some silly questions with no answers, but giving rise to frustrations with no signs of abating.

Somehow...I guess it's the same with everyone else; and all I want now are answers, and some sort of finality. It's painful and saddening to see someone slip away from you, be it due to certain reasons or "natural causes". The point is, at the end of the day, for things to die a slow death, or to know that the end is coming is really heart-breaking. I hate to take no for an answer, but I have no choice. Maybe things would be kinder if I can go into a long and deep slumber; wake up sober, and best if some things are forgotten.

Life is hard when you have to make choices, but don't you think life is even harder when you don't even have a choice? Life's a real pain sometimes when things don't go your way.

********

These are some beautiful words...meant for someone. Almost what I want to say.

You don't run with the crowd, you go your own way
You don't play after dark, you light up my day
Got your own kind of style that sets you apart
And that's why you captured my heart

I know sometimes you feel like you don't fit in
And this world doesn't know what you have within
When I look at you I see something rare
A rose that can grow anywhere
And there's no one I know that can compare

You don't know how you touch my life
Oh, in so many ways I just can't describe
You taught me what love is supposed to be
It's all the little things that make you beautiful to me

You got something so real, you touched me so deep
You see material things don't matter to me
So come as you are, you've got nothing to prove
You won me with all that you do
And I wanna take this chance to say to you

What makes you different, makes you beautiful
What's there inside you shines through to me
In your eyes I see all the love I'll ever need
What makes you different
Makes you beautiful to me

I love anything spontaneous!

For a moment, I thought it's gonna be yet another boring weekend. Being in this tiny little red dot, it's not surprising that every cosmopolitian's (the citizen) favourite passtime would encompass certain activities that sound so painfully similar to one another; movies, workout, beach...Some even classify "working" as a passtime. Those who can afford more time and cash will crawl to offshore islands or neighbouring countries for some diving or holiday.

I guess that perhaps explains why I love the spontaneity of things when I do actually act "on the spur of the moment"...according to what I fancy at that moment. It was nothing to shout about actually; I'm sure this is probably common to many "old birds" out there. ANyway, I've digressed. Heh...basically, a friend and I decided in the afternoon to head towards JB since there wasn't any good movies on offer now.

So we did. We met in Orchard first, shopped around HMV, then went on to the Hello!Store, and finally to Bugis to catch the Sing-Johore bus. Exciting!

By the time we reached there, it was evening time already...say, 6+? The muslims were praying and all. It was certainly one of the better days to head to Johore, given the fact that we are entering a peak period now. There was no crowd, really. Either way, we cleared the customs within half an hr each.

We went in, looked at some films, then went on to buy some bubble gum (yum!), absolutely fantabulous for deprived Sporeans like us...hehehe. And here comes the highlight....at least it was for me. *grin* We went to a place near Taman Sentosa to have dinner...Seafood dinner, to be precise. Not a king's spread, but certainly something I haven't had in a long time. Nestum Crayfish, Buttered prawns and bbq stingray (No pepper stuff for me). Oh man...I could almost faint with delight then.

Of course, we headed back to Singapore and reached mainland (not China) close to 11. We went on to Bugis to split our spoils and both went back gleeful. We both bought a box, and we exchanged flavours. I still can't bear to start on mine! haha...

Can't wait for the next time when I would get to do this again! Imagine spending less than what you would in Spore, but getting as much, if not more enjoyment and satisfaction...*dreamy* Heh...

I'm easily contented, but then again, I certainly wouldn't complain if there were more of such spontaneous ideas/activities to go around...

Guy + Girl = Marriage?

Attended Jimmy's matrimony that Saturday, and went away feeling more dreamy than ever. =D ...just like Isa said, each time we attend a wedding, we go away feeling the yearn to get married too. Hahaha...

It was one of those church weddings, white and pretty...somehow it just seems to vibrate purity and eternity....and promises for the future...Awww...

Just the other day, my second sister told me my bro actually asked her how to go about applying for a flat...HMMMM...that means.....*grin* But of course, both my sis and I feel that my bro and his gf is not ready. Even though there are spontaneous people who get married within a week, we feel that my bro and gf just aren't ready as yet. Of course, not that they knew each other for a week only. They have known each other for a couple of months...less than 6 to be accurate. My bro isn't old or desperate to get married (he's just 2 years older than I am) so we don't really understand the rush too. Besides, he isn't ready AT ALL with regards to the key monetary factor. Well, I guess maybe he feels 1) She's the RIGHT one 2) He's ready to settle down. That probably explains the haste.

Somehow, my sis and I have lesser faith in my bro...in alot of issues. In addition to the stability of his financial status (and THAT is a big issue already), I feel they probably should work on work on stabilising their relationship, as well as get to know each other better. And this comes with time, which, they haven't exactly had as yet.

My friends and I met up and bitched about her older sister-in-law. In a nutshell, she - apart from having no manners, no respect for her in-laws, she sees herself as the precious one, where everyone has to pick up after her. Yes, even her mother-in-law. Can you even beat that? She's always right, she wants her way, and has zero tolerance for anyone else. And we would have thought someone like that probably would have difficulties finding a husband, but no...she married my friend's brother, who is basically a Mr Nice-Guy. Well yes, no one stands up to her in the family, she wins hands-down.

I was telling them about my bro's gf (perhaps wife-to-be in future). We've gone out for a meal before and we've had a certain level of interaction for sure. She's younger than me for one thing, so I guess she wouldn't bully me in future anyway. Heh...For another thing, my two sisters and I reasoned alot with my brother, so I guess chances are slim for whatever that happened to my friend, to happen to me. At least that's what I think now. Of course, I can never be too sure too.

Work + Holiday + Work + Holiday + Work

It's been a good week, with the double holidays on Tues and Thurs. It's technically an alternate work-day week...heh...

I went to catch Exorcism of Emily Rose on Weds evening. A good movie indeed. Dark and chilling, not your usual slipshod or cheap thrill scares. The actress was very accomplished in her portrayal of a possessed being. Sad too though, to imagine the torment she had to go through. That night, I must say that I did experience difficulties in sleeping. I kept seeing the contorted form of the actress in one of the scenes. Then again, it's the scaredy me we are talking about. Think for awhile at least, I would probably continue to visualise those few scenes. *Shudders* Some jumped during the movie too, so I guess it isn't just me. hehe...Well, it was certainly nice to have someone around me that evening. *grin*

That long break in between really got me feeling so lethargic, I wished I had simply submitted that leave form for Friday. Or at least half day for Friday. It got to a point where I really was tempted to tell my boss to let me off for the rest of the day. Then again, the aftermath of holidays means the amount of work waiting to be cleared is unimaginable. Besides, Isa had a really bad day yesterday, with all of us bugging her for delayed/urgent jobs. I wouldn't dare imagine leaving her to deal with these alone.

Our new designer is coming in on Monday, following Amy's departure. Her name is Angela, and she's supposedly strong in her design. I just hope she can handle the amount of work, which is undeniably mounting. Isa is just dying for someone to come in n do her share of work. Sigh.

Angela was shortlisted from a previous round of interview. Boss wanted to offer her the job then, but held back and in the end, she went on to another offer. She recommended Amy then. Of course, she has quitted that job now and is ready to join us. I still remember Cindy & Eve commenting about her dressing. In Eve's words, "Her blouse was so low, her boobs are ready to spill out!" To give her credit (or issit not?), she's voluptuous and has an ample bosom. Ahem. And she dresses sexily. Low cut tops, mini skirts, revealing dresses, that sort of thing. I'm not a prude, but I guess going to work in such clothings can be rather taboo in certain offices. Maybe she has been dressing this way her entire life, almost like a second skin, but I guess my office isn't THAT open-minded as yet. We are all okay people, not conservative, but I guess it's just sort of like a culture shock when someone dresses that way to work. Hehe...

Now we are all waiting to see what she would turn up in on Monday. Or at least in the days to come. Us girls were even giggling about the gentlemen in the office, like how they would react if she were to really turn up in some revealing or foxy dress perhaps? Haha...I only wish that she isn't some unscrupulous or conniving backstabber who will not hesitate to clean everyone off the slate on her way up. Somehow, each time we have a new person, I tend to feel some misgivings about the new girl. *shrugs* Let's hope I'm wrong of course...for Isa's sake especially.

Tired

How many times have we watched some movies and imagine ourselves in that particular situation? I'm sure all of us have, at some point. Whether it is some action-packed thriller, or some horror flick. I certainly have.

I watch horror movies and can almost feel the fear of the actors/actresses, as if it was real, as if it was happening to me. The sentimental me watches romance films, and imagines the uncertainty of loving someone yet not knowing if he reciprocrates. Yeah...me just finished watching this film and it was really heartbreaking for the guy to watch the girl he likes, like everyone else but him...the pain of loving someone but knowing that he/she not loving you back. Why are things so complicated? Why can't a simple equation solve everything? Does a higher being enjoy seeing human beings confused or complicating things? Or are we the ones doing so ourselves?

I just read someone's blog. He has a a great job, a pretty gf. Going for flings is the norm for him, and recently, he got engaged to his gf. His gf had alot of flings herself too, but she settled down when she decided that he was the one she wanted to grow old with. Sadly...he seemed to be having second thoughts about her now. I dunno...I just felt so....sad. I am an avid reader of his blog, and I just felt a deep sense of loss upon foreseeing that he's gonna dump her...after all that she has given up and done for him. We humans just love complicating matters.

It was thought that the people we know at different stages of our life are just passerbys, passengers on your train. Some get up, some get off. New ones board, old ones alight. Then what? You say goodbye to those who alight, never to see them again.

Guess I'm tired...not sure what I'm blabbering about also. Till then.

My niece!

See my niece? Hehe...cute! Think my bro-in-law did something using photoshop. Me no good with photoshop...Know a little but not enuff I guess. Haha...and to think that knowledge of photoshop is almost a must with many ppl..

Eye Test

This is hilarious...Some optical illusion thingy, courtesy of Tricia. Can you read the following?

If you can't, fret not. You can either:

(1) Lean backwards, further away from the screen. No guarantee that you can see it though.

OR....

(2) Peel and stretch the corners of your eyes apart (gently of course). Guarantee to work.

You'll look silly of course. Haha...So be sure not to attempt this in front of someone you want to impress. Heh...

Get to know yourself better

Not sure if this works for you. Try This for yourself...

---------
I've always been somewhat sceptical of such "tests". This is one of those that so far has been rather close. Interesting huh...Do be discerning enough to take it with a pinch of salt. Have fun. =D

What mine says -


Your view of yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.


My Opinion => Half True. I'm not straightforward. In fact I beat about the bush. Problem Solver? Depends. But yes, I do listen to both sides of an argument, and I like being diplomatic and thus, coming up with conclusions that appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.


My Opinion => What can I say? Hahaha...Fits to a T...But that's just basically the gist of it. More to it than meets the eye.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.


My Opinion => Once again, applause please...hehehe

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.


My Opinion => Sensible? Nah...Straightforward? No way...Find myself with plenty of dates? I wish...

Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

My Opinion => Education is not less important than the real world out there. Both education and the real world complements one another. Equally important, ideally. Realistically, the real world does override education to a certain extent I guess.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.


My Opinion => Yes liking what I do is very important to me. Liking the environment I work in and the people I work with matters alot too. Though I'm still too young to know if this (whatever they said) will turn out to be the case.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.


My Opinion => Generally, isn't that the case for most people out there? To keep trying I mean. *grin*

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.


My Opinion => Almost perfect description of my insecurity. Hahaha...

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


My Opinion => Rather true...Captured the gist...Almost me...(Though there's more of course) *grin*

Signs....

Signs that things aren't pleasant this week:

- It's only Tuesday and I feel as though a double weekend still can't save my soul.

- It was Monday and is Tuesday, and am suffering a bad case of the before-and-after effects of a big burst-up. So saddening, upsetting, maddening and yet embarassing. That's enough negative emotions to last me a year.

- It's only Tuesday and I'm in a delirious and viril state of mood-swings. Bad.

- It's Tuesday and I'm going through the agony of bad stomach...aka, diarrohea. Painful + Weak + Uncomfortable + Frustrating disruption to my work.

- Ex bothering me again. Giving me a hard time again. I would love to pick up the phone and call the police.

- My Citibank Rewards voucher expires today, if I don't go exchange it...Horrors of all horrors! Me no time to go do it today *sob* Pop goes a precious voucher. And to make things worse, it was my fault to begin with. I had three whole months to do it. I had passed by the place countless times, and I procrastinated each occasion. My fault.

- Amy leaves us in approximately four working days' time. Aka, next Monday. Sigh

- The amount of work I have is...Let's not even bother mentioning that.

- Colleague not in Singapore, and I have to cover her duties...for a nit-picking pack of clients. Dunno what's wrong with them also. Someone pass me a dart board please...

Me want holidays.....='(

An end to a weekend, and a new week blooms. Soon (next week in fact), that much-awaited for week is here...after a drought and dry-spell of non- holidays. Holidays mean alot to working professionals like me...heh

I rather like this year, the way holidays fall so nicely into place, like Deepavali and Hari Raya coming so closely next to each other; like how Christmas and New Year will fall on Sundays (rendering the consecutive Monday a holiday again). The last holiday was National Day, in August. Everyone was dreading the next three months, which were holiday-less. Time sure flies.

Everyone seems to be making plans of some sort during this long period of rest. Except me *sulks* Then again, no place to go. For one, I don't like crowds. For another, most places would be full...meaning no availability anywhere anyway. Sigh.

Parents, bro and me were discussing to go holiday during CNY 2006. CNY will be end Jan, falling on Sunday and Monday for the customary first and second day, which means to say that Tuesday will be a holiday too. Throw in the weekend, and we will have ourselves Saturday to Tuesday, about 4 days. My parents work 365 days a year, minus the CNY period, so this is the best and only time they can go anywhere in fact. My dad is keen on the idea and definitely my mom too, though she cannot make up her mind where she wants to go. First a cruise, next Genting, then Phuket, and then finally, we decided to check out Perth. Since the place has got "nothing much" (thanks to alot of feedback), four days should be sufficient. I was even considering that if we do go Perth, I may even even take another 3 days' leave to go Sydney and visit my friend studying there. Cool huh...

Then...sigh. We realised that Perth will be hot. Hot and dry spell during the summertime. Me scared hot. Though it wouldn't be humid, but still...can't imagine...so sad. We gonna go home tonight and discuss things further.

Till then...

The Story

Went out with my gang of girl frens for our weekly run...except that I didn't manage to run. For one, we reached the stadium late. But the deciding factor was the drizzle that refuse to abate, and instead got heavier. Sickening. And made me missed my run today...Supposed to be the alternate day exercise this week for me. Anyways, we ended up going for dinner at Sakae Sushi at West Mall; not much of a crowd by that time. Hui's boyfriend happened to be there too with his friends, and for the first time since they got together (think a couple of months already), we FINALLY got to see the "real" Junlin...*heehee* Previously only saw his photo. Fen nearly choked...Not coz he look weird or anything, but he came upon us by surprise. Hahaha...

Somehow we ended up talking about movies, and before I knew it, I was telling them about "Skeleton Key", which I caught on Sunday. I like that movie very much...one of the few well-shot horror movie. Yep, I'm scaredy, yet I LURVEEE watching Horror movies...haha...Don't ask me why. Anyways, I regurgitated the entire movie proceedings (and did a good job at that too, sparing no details ^^). The three of them were pretty spooked after that too. Ha! In fact, this was the second time that I've re-told the movie to my friends. First time was to the office peeps on Monday. Of coz, I'm not so bad lah, I only told them the story after ascertaining that they aren't gonna watch the movie at the cinema. Anyway, great movie, nice plot. Loads better than that free movie 黑社会 which I caught last night with Amy. Hahahaha...

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Talkin about telling stories...it was a "queer" lunch I had today with Tricia, Isabel and Amy this afternoon. Must have been complaining about E, and somehow, the topic strayed into my grandfather, who passed away earlier this year. I was relating the events and started well...tearing. Isabel is an emotional girl too...Her eyes turned red, tears gathered and two girls were bascially tearing and sniffing at an eating place...We must have looked a ridiculous sight to those who didn't know what was going on. Heh...

I was repeating that fateful night's happenings...About how I made so many bungles before arriving at my grandad's place...how I was the last one to arrive that night, about how he waited for me before "leaving". I missed the bus, I dropped at the wrong bus stop, I ran the remaining journey to the block, only to realise that it was the wrong block afteral. And when finally, I arrived at my grandad's house, I realised with horror that everyone was gathered inside his room. Part of me just wanted to turn and run out, because I just was not ready to face what was coming. Before I entered the room, I heard sniffles and quiet sobbings. My aunt literally pushed me in. Everyone was gathered around his bed. I knew he had a difficult day during the daytime, but this was not what I had expected to encounter. His breathing was laboured, slow and painful. His eyes were close, though he was perhaps half-conscious. On hindsight, we were probably losing him then already. I was so overcome with pain, hurt and grief. And fear. I had never dealt with death on such a close level ever before. It was always a friend's relative, or a relative's friend, and now that it was happening to me, all I could think was to wish it away. I just didn't know how to react.

I was too choked with tears to say anything. I just wanted to call out to him and hold his hands once more, just like how I did when he was warded in the hospital a couple of months back at SGH. But I was stoned...and stunned. My grandmom was trembling and sobbing badly and another of my aunt was holding on to her. Then my aunt spoke. She stroked my grandad's face, and told him that all the people who mattered, whom he wanted to see had arrived, that he can be on his way now and not suffer anymore. In the next five minutes, we saw his life ebb away. When he took in his final breath and stopped for eternity, it was as though a tidal wave of raw pain crashed into me, into us. My grandmom collapsed, we cousins hugged each other and cried our hearts out. The pain was unbearable.

My mind was a blank, memories rushed back and flooded my mind. All I could see were the days and times that I had spent with my grandparents, from age four to twenty-four. I love my grandparents very much, beyond words in fact. And I just can't imagine living life without either one of them. Certainly, I know life goes on and all of us would move on. Perhaps one day I can come to terms with his passing. But that doesn't mean I have forgotten him. Yes he lives on in my memories...so many memories, and more than memories in fact. I know it will always hurt, be it two years or twenty years. For me at least.

My grandmom had grown gaunt and weak. She can't eat, she can't sleep, and she can't stop crying. At times, she talked to us normally, at others, she seemed to be lost in her own world. What was worse was that during the nights at the funeral, or during the wee hours of the morning, my grandmom would pull a chair up beside my grandad's coffin. She would talk to him, and even sing to him. A very particular song that I don't understand (language/dialect). She would sob and tear, but she would sing it repeatedly, over and over again. I will never ever forget that scene for the rest of my life.

We were worried for her, that her physical and mental health would not be able to take it. We could only pray that she will pull herself together and get better after the funeral. But the final day of the funeral was what we feared most. The bands played my grandad's favourite songs, everyone was inconsolable. My grandmom practically had to be held back as the procession moved away. I could still see her collapsing in a heap as the rest of us went on our way to the crematorium.

That cold and emotionless crematorium. Quiet on the surface, but with so much angst and tears deep within. That dreaded moment when we had to witness the coffin rolling into the furnace. Why do they make us watch? I hated to, I didn't want to, yet a part of me refused to give up the last opportunity to see my grandad for the very last time. I just didn't want to tear my eyes away. I so desperately wanted to hang on to a last ditch, but fruitless effort of having him in my life still. This time, I saw my dad's strong surface cracked. I saw his reddened eyes, his tears rolling down hard and fast. This time, he didn't bother to brush them away. His roughened hands clenched into tight fists by his side.

Everything was so surreal...still is. People may assume a finality or closure with the end of the funeral. But I am never able to talk about my grandad's passing without crying. My grandad's passing had opened our eyes to alot of things; revealed the true colours of some snakes within the family, and taught me something I had always known, but taken for granted. His death had also shown us a side to things that we've never known, never seen. Things would never be the same for me again.